Two and a Half Men Episodes

2003, TV Show

Two and a Half Men Episode: "Captain Terry's Spray-On Hair"

Season 7, Episode 9
Episode Synopsis: Charlie's male ego is bruised when he learns that he hasn't been satisfying Chelsea; and Alan tries a cheap cure for his thinning hair.
Original Air Date: Nov 23, 2009

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Season 7, Episode 9
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Length: 21:13
Aired: 11/23/2009
Also available on Amazon Instant Video and VUDU
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Two and a Half Men Episode Recap: "Captain Terry's Spray-On Hair" Season 7, Episode 9

This week on Two and a Half Men, Charlie realizes that the heat has gone out of their sex life when Chelsea no longer screams "Ga" during sex (apparently, when she's finishing she can't get out the whole "God"). That's not too surprising, considering that they've been together for a while now. What is surprising are the people he'll turn to for advice.

Chelsea is stressed lately with work, her parents, and planning the wedding. She's so stressed, that she has stopped having orgasms. That doesn't sit too well with Charlie, though he's not sure what's worse--that she's not been having them, or that she told him. Chelsea tries to comfort him by explaining that she's just had a lot on her mind lately and that she still loves him and blah, blah, blah. She ends up comforting him right to sleep. Yes, she's a lucky, lucky girl.

In an effort to restore the passion, Charlie decides to actually woo Chelsea with dinner, candles, and the whole romance thing. While he's preparing for a special evening, Jake is preparing for a date of his own. On the advice of Uncle Charlie, he eats before the date so that he won't be grabbing fries off of his girlfriend's plate. That's not the only advice Uncle Charlie has given him. Apparently, Jake was also told to wear clean underwear on a date. Now, I get that you should wear clean underwear in case you're in an accident, but to imply that Jake needs clean ones in case he gets lucky is a little unnerving. Maybe it's the mother coming out in me but I think he's just too young!! Of course, he does have some of Evelyn and Charlie's blood, so I guess it's to be expected.

Charlie is desperate to fix the speed bump in his relationship so he asks Berta for sex advice. She tells him that doing it in public is a sure-fire way to bring the spark back. When asked if she ever did that, Charlie is then warned not to enter the garage if the Sparkle's truck is in the driveway—nice visual. Even more desperate for some advice, he seeks out his brother for a talk. He finds Alan preparing for his own date (for him it involves dancing around in his tighty-whiteys and using a special formulated hair-like substance). Yes, Alan has resorted to using Captain Terry's Spray-On Hair. Although it's not the best solution, he needs to keep using it until the (non-FDA approved) pills kick in. Charlie would caution against it, but who is he to condemn someone for their choice of pharmaceuticals? It turns out to be a bad time to ask Alan for anything!

Later that night, Charlie learns how little an effect his wooing had on Chelsea's libido. Unfortunately, she did not make it around the mountain, or ride six white horses. Sing the song—you'll get it. In other words, still no "Ga." Chelsea tries again to explain that she just has a lot on her mind and that she feels lucky to have him. Charlie cares so much that he falls asleep while she's talking. Again, she's a lucky girl! After his nap, he goes downstairs for a drink. Alan returns, rather early, from his date and one look at his head explains why.  It turns out that there are two things you should never buy on the cheap: condoms and fake hair. While Alan is explaining how his date ended (his hair dripped into his date's food), Jake returns from his date the usual teenage way—sneaking over the rail and onto the deck à la Rose. While Jake should be punished for coming home two hours after curfew, Alan decides to wait until morning to talk to him, as he is in no position to be the moral authority at the moment.

Charlie can't seem to get the answer he's looking for, so he goes around again asking for advice. Berta imparts her knowledge on him, and it actually makes sense. "Is Chelsea complaining?" she asks. No. "Can you read her mind?" No. "Then don't worry about it." She tells him it seems to be the perfect opportunity for him to become a better boyfriend. Either that or he could buy Chelsea a vibrating egg.

Ever the glutton for punishment, Charlie decides to try Alan one more time. This time, when he finds him, Alan is preparing for his "J-Date." He's decided to kill two birds with one stone by using a yarmulke to cover up his bald spot and woo a Jewish girl. Surprisingly, Alan also has some good advice to give. He tells Charlie that his ego is tied to his partner's pleasure and that he shouldn't feel such guilt over it. Charlie and Alan both seem taken aback that the advice makes sense. To which Alan proclaims "Mashuga, right?!"

After taking in all of the advice, Charlie decides that the best route is to avoid going up to the bedroom with Chelsea. Instead, they sit on the couch and play about a hundred games of cards. Chelsea, frustrated about the white elephant in the room, decides to open up to Charlie about what's really going on. It turns out that her ex-husband is getting remarried. And although Chelsea is too, she's still a little bothered by the fact that he is over her. In a rather un-Charlie like move, he completely understands. He's sensitive to her feelings and tells her that they're completely normal (as long as she's not still in love with the ex, that is). As they are sorting out their problems, Jake deals with his (being grounded) by quietly walking out the front door. Chelsea tells Charlie that Jake has just snuck out, to which he replies (very Charlie-like) "He's grounded. How else is he going to leave?!"

Later that night, Chelsea gets her "Ga" back. Charlie is pretty impressed with how he handled things and the path that their relationship is taking. He opens up to Chelsea about his feelings, but it turns out that getting the "Ga" back is pretty tiring and she falls asleep while he's talking. Charlie, getting a taste of his own medicine, proclaims "Well, that's just rude!"

What were some of the highlights for you in this episode? Did you think Chelsea was being a little self-absorbed over the whole ex-husband thing, or have you "been there, done that" as well? Were you ready to hear about Jake getting lucky on his date, or do you still see him as a little boy? And were you surprised to see just how much Alan really does resemble a monkey with just a little bit of facial hair?

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This week on Two and a Half Men, Charlie realizes that the heat has gone out of their sex life when Chelsea no longer screams "Ga" during sex (apparently, when she's finishing she can't get out the whole "God"). That's not too surprising, considering that they've been together for a while now. What is surprising are the people he'll turn to for advice... read more

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Premiered: September 22, 2003, on CBS
Rating: TV-PG
User Rating: (1,508 ratings)
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Premise: A hit sitcom built on often-raunchy material, starring Charlie Sheen and, later, Ashton Kutcher begins with the premise of a Malibu bachelor (Sheen) whose life is disrupted when his brother and 10-year-old nephew move in with him. In the ninth season, Kutcher replaces Sheen, playing a billionaire with a broken heart. Briskly written and performed, the sitcom had fun spoofing Charlie Sheen's bad-boy reputation (which ultimately led to his exit from the series) and Jon Cryer's nervous energy.

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