Two and a Half Men Episodes

2003, TV Show

Two and a Half Men Episode: "I Think You Offended Don"

Season 6, Episode 13
Episode Synopsis: Judith is pregnant, and Alan suspects he's the father. Meanwhile, Jake is in a foul mood.
Original Air Date: Jan 19, 2009
Guest Cast Iqbal Theba: Don
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Season 6, Episode 13
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Length: 23:00
Aired: 1/19/2009
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Two and a Half Men Episode Recap: "I Think You Offended Don" Season 6, Episode 13

Judith is five months pregnant and Alan is convinced he's the father. Jake is in a bad mood, and Charlie is determined to figure out what's the cause of his sour spirits.

Charlie returns home from a night of drinking and gambling. He notices that Alan has a calendar with the initials "JMC" written on it. Charlie asks Alan what JMC stands for, but before Alan can answer, Charlie starts to make guesses for these initials. "John Mellencamp Cougar" he says as he slurs his speech. Alan tells him it stands for "Judith's menstrual cycle." He points out some dates to Charlie. "This is when Judith and Herb broke up, and this is when I had sex with her." He also says that Judith is 5 months pregnant. Alan is very convinced that he is the father, and he admits that he hopes Judith is having a girl because he always wanted a girl. Charlie is still very drunk as he listens to Alan, but he knows that his night is much more fun than Alan's. "I lost $8,000 playing poker, I have no clue where my car is, I threw up in my mouth and I still had a better night than you" Charlie tells Alan.

Alan goes to Judith's house to talk about her pregnancy, but Judith really doesn't want to discuss it at all. "Should we talk about the elephant in the room? We had unprotected sex" Alan says to Judith. Judith says that they didn't have unprotected sex and tries to get him to stop talking about it because Herb was approaching them. Herb tells Alan that he and Judith are having a girl, and Alan wants to see the room. Jake points out that Alan never wanted to see his room, and Judith says it's was because his room was a pig-sty.

Back at the house, Alan is trying to come up with names for the baby girl. "I know in my gut this is my sweet bastard child!" Alan says to Charlie. Charlie says that Judith is a slut because she slept with Alan and Herb and that there was a chance that the kid wasn't either's. Alan doesn't buy that. Charlie says that if Alan did anything to indicate that he was the father of Judith's child that it could ruin Judith's and Herb's marriage. He tells Alan to forget about the baby and focus on the kid he has to raise. Charlie says that he caught Jake trying to bite his toenails. "That's monkey behavior!" Charlie says. Right on cue, Jake comes in and grabs a banana. Charlie says, "Can you imagine him as a girl...he would be a big girl with an ugly haircut! Woof!"

Later, Jake is watching TV, and Charlie wants to watch something else. He tells Jake that he gets to decide what they watch, and Jake asks him why he gets to decide everything. He says it's because he bought everything. Jake says that Charlie uses the money card all the time. "Money is all you got!" Jake says to Charlie. This comment seems to annoy Charlie.

Alan once again returns to Judith's house. He offers to help Herb paint the baby's room. Herb wants to paint unicorns on the wall, but Alan doesn't like that idea.
"Herb, that's just a pony with a strap-on!" At one point when Herb leaves the room, Judith comes in. She doesn't know what Alan was doing there, but she definitely doesn't want him to say anything to Herb. Judith then leaves and Herb comes back in. Herb says that Judith's mother said she would babysit, so they wouldn't have to worry about finding a babysitter. Alan says having Judith's mother as a babysitter is a bad idea because she hit a rough patch with prescription pills. He goes on to say something about a raccoon and how it scared Jake when Judith's mother was passed out. Alan says he would babysit their baby anytime. Herb likes this idea and informs Judith of Alan's offer. When Alan is leaving, you can hear Judith yelling to Herb. "A raccoon....and you believed him???"

Charlie barges into Jake's room while Jake's on the phone. He wants to apologize for almost kicking his ass when they were arguing earlier. Charlie offers to order pizza but Jake isn't interested. This obviously isn't like Jake, so Charlie knows something is wrong with him. Charlie thinks he know what the problem is. "You're bent out of shape because your mom's having another baby" Charlie says to Jake. Charlie also points out that his own mother's second child ruined his life. "That's my dad!" Jake says, and Charlie says it was (I thought that comment was pretty funny). Jake s says he was actually looking forward to the baby. Charlie says that Jake had to have been having girl problems if it isn't about the baby. Jake doesn't want to talk about it.

Later, Jake is sitting on the balcony talking on the phone with one of his friends. Charlie walks by and overheard some of the conversation. "Of course I wanna go to the party, but my stupid uncle won't let me! I gotta be here to change his adult diapers or else he'll just lay in his own filth!" (I thought this part was so funny, and the look on Charlie's face was the best when he heard that). Charlie later finds out from Jake that he really didn't want to go to this party because a girl that Jake liked wanted to hook up with Jake. But Jake feels embarrassed because he heard that she had been hooking up with ninth graders and that he was very inexperienced compared to them. To make Jake feel better, Charlie tells him a story that he was embarrassed to tell. He says he was in Bangkok and he had met a woman but didn't notice that she had an Adam's apple. He says he was really embarrassed when he realized that. Jake said, "Women don't have Adam's apples. You are such a mo! You didn't have to share that!" He tells a farting story would have been much better. Charlie once again asks Jake how old he is (I swear he asks him this a lot). Jake said he he's 14. "14, that's a horrible age!" Charlie says. He then tries to help Jake out. He told him that the truth can work for him. "Play to your strength, which is your ignorance" Charlie instructs. He tells Jake that if he just tells the girl that he's inexperienced but he wants to make her happy, that it will work for him and he could use that up through college because women will buy that.

Jake is dressed up and ready to go the party, but he seems very hesitant and tells Charlie that he doesn't want to go. Charlie says that they could order pizza and watch a movie, and Jake liked that idea. Jake wants to change back into his eating shirt but Charlie says the shirt he's wearing is fine. "What the hell is that cologne?" Charlie asks. Jake says it was the air freshener from the bathroom. "I figured I would be spraying it anyway" Jake says.

The last part of the show jumps ahead 14 years. It shows an older Alan and Judith. Judith says that she thought it was time that he knew the truth — her daughter is really Alan's daughter, not Herb's, and her daughter wants to live with her real father. The girl is Jake with a wig on. Alan suddenly wakes up, realizes it's a dream and seems very relieved —although he did let out a "woof! 

I really liked this episode. I thought Jake had some of the funniest lines in this episode. His relationship with Charlie is becoming really funny, especially when Charlie tries to help him out with girls or when they compete for them. I can't wait to find out who is the real father of Judith's baby. This should be pretty interesting!

 

 

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Judith is five months pregnant and Alan is convinced he's the father. Jake is in a bad mood, and Charlie is determined to figure out what's the cause of his sour spirits.

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Premiered: September 22, 2003, on CBS
Rating: TV-PG
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Premise: A hit sitcom built on often-raunchy material, starring Charlie Sheen and, later, Ashton Kutcher begins with the premise of a Malibu bachelor (Sheen) whose life is disrupted when his brother and 10-year-old nephew move in with him. In the ninth season, Kutcher replaces Sheen, playing a billionaire with a broken heart. Briskly written and performed, the sitcom had fun spoofing Charlie Sheen's bad-boy reputation (which ultimately led to his exit from the series) and Jon Cryer's nervous energy.

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