Two and a Half Men Episodes

2003, TV Show

Two and a Half Men Episode: "Best H.O. Money Can Buy"

Season 6, Episode 7
Episode Synopsis: Alan tries to dodge Judith, who has become a little too needy, while Charlie and Herb go out in search of women.
Original Air Date: Nov 10, 2008
Guest Cast Daya Vaidya: Lucy Brittney Powell: Clair
Full Episode
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Season 6, Episode 7
Paid | Amazon Instant Video
Length: 22:00
Aired: 11/10/2008
Also available on Amazon Instant Video and VUDU
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Two and a Half Men Episode Recap: "Best H.O. Money Can Buy" Season 6, Episode 7

In the last episode, Alan really wanted Judith, but this week he wanted his space from her because she was being too needy and clingy. Herb still wanted to spend time with Charlie so Charlie could help him meet women while he and Judith were having their problems. While all of this was going on, Jake thought everyone wanted to send him to military school.

This episode was a continuation of last week's episode. Here's a quick run down of the major events from last week: Herb and Judith were having marital problems. Judith kicked Herb out of the house, and Herb was trying to spend time with Charlie so Charlie could help him meet women.

Now, this week's episode began with Alan telling Charlie that he's not sure if he wants to be back with Judith. They were trying to discuss the pros and cons of Alan getting back together with Judith, but Jake kept walking into the room, and Alan didn't want him to know that he was seeing Judith again. So, each time Jake entered the room, Alan would change the subject completely, and Jake had no idea what they were talking about. I think Charlie is the one that mentioned military school, and Alan went along with it, so Jake got freaked out. They told him if he didn't do his homework, that they would send him to military school. Berta said that she wanted Jake's room if he was going to leave to go to military school, or she would take Alan's if he moved back in with Judith. Alan had no idea Berta even knew that he was seeing Judith again, so he said, "God sake, does she hear everything?"

Alan went to Judith's house to have dinner with her. He said it was a one time only thing. He wanted to go and tell her that he had a nice time, but he thought they were moving in a direction that he didn't want to go in anymore. He told Judith that he wanted to slow things down, and he was surprised when she agreed with him. She said she was barely out of her marriage with Herb, and that she would also like to see where things could go with Alan, but she was in no rush.

Back at Charlie's, Alan was filling Charlie in on what happened. He said that he forgot Judith could be so nice. Charlie questioned Alan on this one...he didn't think Judith was nice. Alan continued to explain his situation with Judith, and Alan asked Charlie if he was drunk. Charlie said, "Define drunk." He obviously was, and Charlie told Alan that liquor makes him more interesting, which is why he was able to listen to his problems. I think Charlie tried to give Alan some advice, and he said something about how he paints with his words and Alan told him, "You're a lush Charlie, you paint with vomit!"

Now back to Jake. Charlie had him scrubbing the balcony, cleaning the garage, and doing lots of things for him because Charlie had Jake thinking that if he didn't shape up and do as he was told, that they would send him off to military school. At one point Charlie was asking Alan when he's going to move out and he said "you could pack up tonight" and that last part is all Jake heard. He freaked out and said, "You said if I shaped up I wouldn't have to go!" and he ran off.

Alan was on his way to Judith's when Herb stopped by to ask the guys if they wanted to go out. Charlie told Alan that it was ladies' night and that he could get in for half price. Alan lied to Herb and said he was in a book club and had a meeting to go to. Herb asked Alan if he had talked to Judith and he said no. Herb told Alan if he does talk to her to let her know that if she needs anything that he'll be there for her, and the time they spent together was very special to him. I thought the best part was when Herb said to Charlie that "If the picking is slim, you can always wrangle up some of your prostitute friends" referring to if there weren't any good women available when they go out.

Charlie had two of his prostitute friends with him and they were back at Herb's. Herb had on his conductor hat and was showing everyone his train set. "All aboard!" he yelled. This entire scene I thought was funny, because a few episodes back Herb mentioned his train set and how much he loved it. Herb offered the prostitutes drinks and Charlie tried to explain to him that the women were there for one thing only and that it wasn't necessary to offer them anything. "Not even a Snapple?" asked Herb. All of a sudden, Herb broke down and started sobbing. Herb yelled, "Don't make me do this Charlie! I'm not like you, I can't lay with whores!" He then left to get his wife back. Charlie stayed there with the prostitutes and put on Herb's conductor hat.

Alan had told Judith what Herb said earlier. You could tell that she was excited by the fact that Herb obviously made it known that he still cared about her. She tried to play it off and gave it another shot with Alan. They were kissing, and Judith didn't like the way Alan was kissing her. She told him to open his mouth more, and to stop humming. Alan said that there were "More rules than a public pool around here!" Judith told him that she knew what she liked and she didn't like what he was doing. She then decided that she couldn't get back with Alan again. "Dying alone has got to be better than being stuck with you!" she told Alan. Herb was at the front door, and Judith told Alan he needed to leave. Before he left, he told Judith, "Just so we're clear here, we decided to see other people!"

This next part I thought was the best part of this episode. Charlie's prostitutes dropped him off at his house because he was too drunk to drive. He was still wearing Herb's hat. He saw that Alan was sitting on the balcony. He asked him if he could join him and Alan told him that it's his house, and he was too drunk to remember that, but was very happy when Alan reminded him. Charlie sat down and pulled a railroad crossing sign off of his butt which it was stuck to. "I could have had a caboose in my caboose!" he told Alan excitedly. He said he had sex on top of the train set, which he was kind of embarrassed to admit, but that's how that sign got stuck to him. Charlie asked Alan what happened when Herb got back to Judith's. Alan told Charlie that Judith ran into Herb's arms while he snuck out the back door. "You said back door; that reminds me of my caboose joke!" Charlie told Alan. All of a sudden Charlie decided to call his mother to tell her his joke, but she hung up on him and he thought they got disconnected. He then called Jake.

Six weeks later, Judith, Herb, and Jake were standing at Charlie's doorstep. They were there to drop Jake off, but also to announce some important news. Jake said his grades weren't good enough for military school, "so ha ha!" he told Alan and Charlie. But that wasn't the real news Judith wanted Jake to announce. She announced that she was pregnant. Berta said, "Congratulations! Try to keep this one away from the lead paint!" I thought that was funny. They always pick on Jake's lack of intelligence.

After Judith and Herb left, Jake asked Charlie what was wrong with Alan. Since Herb and Judith had only been back together for six weeks, Alan started to do the math in his head. Maybe the baby could be his?? That's what Alan was obviously thinking, you could tell just by the look on his face. Charlie told Jake that Alan was just doing math in his head. Jake said, "Oh yeah, that's a bitch!"

I'm glad that Alan and Judith didn't get back together. I think Herb and Judith make a good couple. Although I'm a little disappointed Herb and Charlie can't go out looking for women anymore because I thought that was funny. It will be funny to see Judith go through pregnancy. I'm curious to see if Judith's child really is Alan's. I guess we'll just have to wait and see what happens!

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In the last episode, Alan really wanted Judith, but this week he wanted his space from her because she was being too needy and clingy. Herb still wanted to spend time with Charlie so Charlie could help him meet women while he and Judith were having their problems. While all of this was going on, Jake thought everyone wanted to send him to military school.< read more

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Premiered: September 22, 2003, on CBS
Rating: TV-PG
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Premise: A hit sitcom built on often-raunchy material, starring Charlie Sheen and, later, Ashton Kutcher begins with the premise of a Malibu bachelor (Sheen) whose life is disrupted when his brother and 10-year-old nephew move in with him. In the ninth season, Kutcher replaces Sheen, playing a billionaire with a broken heart. Briskly written and performed, the sitcom had fun spoofing Charlie Sheen's bad-boy reputation (which ultimately led to his exit from the series) and Jon Cryer's nervous energy.

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