On Sunday's episode of True Blood, Tommy and Sam somehow make each other dumber by joining forces. On the eve of the full moon, Jason has some strange feelings about Jessica... and Hoyt. Marnie and Bill meet, but neither is forthcoming with the other. And Eric's unwitting seduction of Sookie is sealed with a... well, you'll see!
The family that kills together... well, they just annoy me
So... Tommy killed his parents. To be fair, they weren't very nice people, and the thought of re-entering the world of dogfighting made me feel homicidal, so I consider their offings to be narrative mercy killings. Since Sam is an idiot, he thinks it's a good idea to help Tommy dispose of the bodies in a swamp. So off they go. Andy, in the midst of a V-fueled power trip, pulls them over, but a quick-thinking Tommy shifts into a gator to distract him from the pair of corpses.
Now, I suppose the scene at the swamp is meant to be perversely touching, in that the Mickens/Merlotte brothers can now bond over the fact that they've both taken lives under ethically gray circumstances. It's an interesting turn for these two to take. I like that, as much as they can't stand each other, they're now bonded by this awful secret.
Bad things happen to Jason when he has too much sex, he concludes. He and Hoyt run down an amusing list of all the terrible pitfalls he's faced since the series began because of little-head-thinking. (Aside: Jason's impression of God sounds a lot like a sportscaster.)
Holly exposits that the full moon is tomorrow, and you know what that means for Jason? To paraphrase Hammer, it's Panther Time! But first, he's going to have those sex dreams we predicted last week. Only... while he has sex with Jessica, an annoyed Hoyt looks on and critiques them. Well, initially, that's all he does. Later, he appears to switch places with Jessica. "Oh, my gravy," Jason says when he bolts upright. Indeed!
Piety, sage, the Reverend and a tambourine
After last week's "RED-RUM" reveal, Arlene and Terry decide they need the Lord's help. So they enlist the theatrical Rev. Daniels and his new wife Lettie Mae (aka Tara's crazy mother). The lesson of this scene is that the proper uniform for exorcising ghosts is a floral print dress for the ladies and a tie with an extra large knot for the gentlemen. It also helps if you accessorize with a tambourine and clumps of burning sage. As usual, this crowd makes me giggle. And the exorcism appears to work: The baby sleeps soundly, allowing Arlene and Terry time to have sex. But just as their passions ignite, so too does a book of matches on the dresser. Dirty doll, is that you?
"Packing light and being me don't mix," Lafayette says, as he rolls his many suitcases to the car. He are Jesus are heading South of the Border to find Jesus' grandfather, who, as we learned last season, is a brujo, a male witch. In a flashback, we see that he's a kind grandfather... in his own way. For Jesus' birthday, Abuelo gave him a pet goat (aw), but then made him kill it and drink its blood (ew). "Take the spirit inside you," he commands. Jesus reports that felt a force when he did that, and he thinks it can help them now. (Aside: I miss Lafayette's Mohawk; he looks like Kris Kross now, which is not a good thing.)
Remember how Lenny's jacket said that on Laverne & Shirley? Was Lenny a werewolf? Eep. Boo Boo Kitty would not approve. Anyhow, Alcide doesn't want to join Shreveport's stinkin' pack, and he tells pack leader Marcus Bozeman as much... but not friendly-like. Something tells me we'll be hearing more from Marcus in the future.
And then he kissed her!
This is odd. Godric is back, telling Eric that he's evil and needs to kill Sookie. Since Eric's vampire was the nicest, sparkliest vampire ever, we know it's just a dream. It gives Sookie the chance to cuddle with him again. "Am I evil?" Eric asks. "You're not Gandhi," Sookie snarks.
I keep forgetting that Sookie can read thoughts. She finds out from Holly's noggin that Marnie is responsible for Eric's blank slate, so she visits her at Ye Olde Shoppe of Sandalwood Candles and Reanimation (which we learned this week is actually called Moon Goddess Emporium, but I like my name way better).
Sookie pours the Southern charm on like molasses and asks Marnie for a reading. After all, she reasons, her favorite TV shows when she was a kid were Sabrina and Charmed. Heh. Marnie goes into a trance and receives a message from Gran: Stay away from this woman; she is dangerous. (We know! We know! Have you seen Pam's face lately?)
Sookie reconnects with Tara and finds out that Naomi, "Toni"'s girlfriend back in New Orleans, has found some mail addressed to Tara Thornton so now the jig is up. Sookie tries to give her friend some careful advice, but Eric comes up from the ground and scares the bejeezus out of Tara, who doesn't quite understand what he's doing at Sookie's house. Tara tells Sookie off and bolts.
In the aftermath, a wounded Sookie runs straight into Eric's arms. They embrace, and then...they kiss! (The world stops spinning; Twitter explodes. I suspect you'll have a thing or two to say about this development in the comments, so I'll restrict my comments to: Fine.)
King of pain
Bill has a lot of tough, kingly decisions to make this week. First up, it turns out: Portia loves incest! Or at least she's OK with dating her great-great-great-great-grandfather. Bill is a refined country gentleman, however, so he glamours her, so that every time she sees him, she'll be terrified and have the urge to scream. Problem solved!
Pam's putrefying face, on the other hand, is still a problem. Bill realizes that he has to do something about Marnie. So he sends his spy, Katerina, to Ye Olde Shoppe to "arrest" her. In detention, Marnie has a flashback that reveals that the priests who conducted the Spanish Inquisition — and burned witches — were vampires. So she's not so keen on her current predicament.
Bill glamours her and discovers that she's telling the truth about not knowing how she performed the spells. And since Nan Flanagan wants no human blood shed, he's at an impasse. He meets with his sheriffs for counsel. One of them, Luis (Peter Macdissi, who you might recognize as Olivier, Claire's bisexual art professor on Six Feet Under), remembers the Spanish Inquisition, and has a lot of issues about it, since a witch killed his maker.
Vampire history lesson! Vampires hid in the Catholic Church in the 16th century, so they could be both secretive and present. Today, of course, Bill tells us, they occupy positions at Google and Fox News to achieve the same effect. Ha!
Pam agrees with Luis. It's time to kill — or at least torture — Marnie. In her rush to judgment, however, she accidentally reveals that Eric is at Sookie's house, which gives King Bill a case of the sads. Aw. Wait until he finds out about the kissing!
What did you think of "Me and the Devil" (outro by the late Gil Scott-Heron)? Would you like to see Jason and Jessica together? Do the Merlotte-Mickens boys bore you? Are the witches (including Jesus) actually evil? When will Pam get her beautiful face back? And how will Bill punish Amnesia Eric for kissing Sookie? Let your comments be heard in the section below!