True Blood Episodes

2008, TV Show

True Blood Episode: "If You Love Me, Why Am I Dyin'?"

Season 4, Episode 3
Episode Synopsis: Sookie has her hands full when she tries to help an uncharacteristically befuddled Eric, but she's in for a bigger surprise on a visit to Shreveport to see Alcide. Meanwhile, Sam balks at joining Tommy's moneymaking scheme; Jessica turns to Bill for advice about a moral dilemma; Marnie searches for an elusive spirit; and Pam sets her sights on a meeting with a witch.
Original Air Date: Jul 10, 2011
Guest Cast Dale Raoul: Maxine Fortenberry Brit Morgan: Debbie Pelt Dendrie Taylor: Beverleen Blaine Saunders: Becky Brian Treitler: Camera Operator Fiona Dourif: Casey Dan Sachoff: Conservative Dean Chekvala: Roy Brandon Molale: Officer X James McCauley: Paul McClatchy Lara Pulver: Claudine E.J. Callahan: Luther James Harvey Ward: Felton Lindsay Pulsipher: Crystal Paola Turbay: Woman/Antonia Sam Horrigan: Fangbanger Dane DeHaan: Timbo Tara Buck: Ginger
Full Episode
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Season 4, Episode 3
Subscription | HBO GO
Length: 56:00
Aired: 7/10/2011
Also available on iTunes, Amazon Instant Video and VUDU
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True Blood Episode Recap: "If You Love Me, Why Am I Dying?" Season 4, Episode 3

On Sunday's episode of True Blood, the witches and the vampires square off for what is sure to be this season's battle royale. Sookie, for perhaps the first time in the series, finds herself utterly alone in her fight against the world. Tara is off battling vampires. Alcide has reconciled with Debbie. Jason is too busy being forced to propagate a race of werepanthers. Bill is consumed by Portia Bellefleur and other kingly matters. Even her faerie godmother has abandoned her! Sure, Sookie has Amnesia Eric, but in his current state, what help is he? I ask you: Who will pay attention to Sookie, the neediest waitress in all of Renard Parish?! Read on to find out.

GONE TO ALCIDE

Let's talk about Alcide for a minute. One look at this season's promotional material tells you that the producers have decided to enlarge the Sookie Stackhouse love triangle (Bill-Sookie-Eric) into a square with the addition of Alcide. (Because what this show really needs is more characters!) I guess we'll have to wait and see if the season lives up to that promise, but so far Alcide's presence hasn't been what you'd call substantive. He's like a very manly side dish to the main course that consists of Eric and Bill. Sure, he sort of helped Sookie find Bill. And in his own pack-organizing way, he sort of helped defeat Russell. But mostly he just fumed at the antics of his junkie ex and apologized profusely to Sookie for either endangering her life or making a pass at her. As I've mentioned, I have not read Charlaine Harris' novels, but I have to assume that his role in the world (and life) of Sookie Stackhouse was much richer than it has been on the TV show.

This week's episode is a good example of a typical non-starter Alcide story line. Sookie goes to Shreveport (where Alcide has moved) to ask for his help in babysitting the amnesiac Eric. When she arrives at Alcide's house, she finds a very domesticated Debbie Pelt, aka the trashy, savage lady-wolf V addict who, last we saw her, was attempting to kill Sookie. But now here she is, in a sun-dappled living room, offering Sookie Vienna sausages, squash pickles and crawfish dip (three things that sound dee-licious... when you're drunk). She explains that now that she's sober, and has the program, Jesus and Alcide on her side, she'd like to make amends.

How does Miss Sookie respond to Debbie's genteel expression of contrition? She storms out of the house like a jealous ex! But why exactly? Last season, the writers might have wanted us to think that, despite any actual relationship, Sookie was attracted to Alcide, but personally I never felt it. Nevertheless, Alcide follows her outside and apologizes for not telling her about Debbie and agrees to help with Eric. (Again, why?) And that's it! I can get down with narrative shorthand to get from Scene A to Scene B in a timely manner, but in the case of this pairing, there has been no story, no relationship to skip over, so it all seems, well, unnecessary. We'll see if future episodes change my opinion.

GHOST MAMA AND GHOST DADDY

Over in Hotshot, we hear the tale of Ghost Mama and Ghost Daddy, who were eaten by panthers and then regurgitated to become the first werepanthers — or something, I don't know. Meanwhile, under the tin roofs of Shantytown, Crystal has lovingly prepared the badly mauled Jason a medicinal tea... of Mexican Viagra. You see, it's business time for Jason and Crystal, and as she mounts him clinically, she reminds him that he was always looking for a purpose in life, and now he's found it. I suppose there are worse fates.

WWW.VAMPS-KILL.COM

The first political allegory of the season targets the YouTube generation and their propensity for filming... everything. It seems that Bill has made a new law that any vampire who is caught on film feeding on a human shall be sentenced to the true death. We see one such hapless vamp, who is featured on the website www.vamps-kill.com (yes, it's a "real" site), taken away in cuffs to face his gooey fate. One other development: The very aggressive Portia Bellefleur has decided that she and Bill should date (read: fang-bang), and since Portia is a gal who is used to getting what she wants, they shall.

"THE DIRTY DOLL"

This section is about Jessica. Just kidding... sort of! After seeking counsel from her maker Bill, Jessica decides to come clean with Hoyt about her fang-banging feeding frenzy at Fangtasia. Naturally, he's incensed because he's the best boyfriend ever, so Jessica panics and glamours him into forgetting the whole thing. But there is also an actual dirty doll, that evil talisman that keeps popping up, even though both Jessica and Hoyt have gone to great lengths to get rid of it. So Jessica decides to give it to Arlene and Terry's baby Mikey. Who in their right mind would allow a baby — even an evil one! — to play with that filthy thing!

THE ONLY LIVING BOYS IN BON TEMPS

Speaking of dolls, Maxine loves buying hideous holiday-themed ones on the home-shopping channel. While she's busy chatting with the operator, Tommy answers a knock on the door. It's a man from the gas company, who says that Maxine's property is worth big bucks. Tommy immediately devises a plan, which he shares with Sam, to buy Maxine's house out from under her, thus robbing her of any natural gas-related windfall. Sam is, naturally, disgusted. But Sam shouldn't be too judgmental, since his tongue practically unfurls like a cartoon coyote's when he sees that Tara is back in town. Doesn't he have a hot shifter maybe-girlfriend?

ERIC IS SORRY (BUT WE'RE NOT)

While Alcide might not seem to be a viable candidate for the position of Sookie's boyfriend/caretaker, Eric's amnesia has transformed his carnivorous sexual hunger into something, dare I say, plausibly charming? With Bill off ruling and stuff, it now seems completely feasible that Sookie might fall for this childlike, curious, polite, sweet version of Eric. He's still a vampire, of course, which was made clear in this episode when he chomped indiscriminately on Claudine until she was reduced to a pile of faerie dust. (Does that mean the end of Sookie's faerie origin story? I guess wishes can come true!)

But what's not to love about Amnesia Eric? He dresses like Jason Stackhouse, combs his hair like Dwight Schrute and calls Sookie "Snooki." Hilarious. Plus: He says "sorry" a lot, in a rote teenage fashion like he just got caught shaving the cat or something. It certainly won't be all hearts and flowers for this pair, though, if Pam's freakout — and subsequent allegation that Bill is trying to kill Eric — is any indication.

THE VAMPIRE SLAYERS

In the wake of Eric's attack on the witches coven, the ladies and gentlemen of Ye Olde Shoppe of Sandalwood Candles and Reanimation want to retaliate. They don't know that Marnie's curse actually worked, you see. Lafayette, perhaps remembering that it was not so long ago that he was chained in Eric's basement to a redneck and a bucket, tries to dissuade them of any such foolish notion. Tara, unsurprisingly, is not at all sympathetic to the vampire cause, but warns Lafayette not to get involved. He doesn't listen, of course, and heads off to Fangtasia to beg Eric's forgiveness. Pam, who knows what the witches have done, takes her anger out on poor Laf. If Tara and Jesus didn't arrive with a wooden-bullet-loaded gun, who knows what would have happened to him? "I will give you 24 hours to produce that witch, and if you don't, I will personally eat, f--- and kill every one of you," Pam tells the trio.  And you know she will. Meanwhile, back at Ye Olde Shoppe, Marnie is doing all sorts of witchly things like cutting her wrist and seeing dead people that seem to indicate that she will be a formidable foe for Pam in the coming weeks.

So what did you think of "If You Love Me, Why Am I Dying?"? (Aside: In lieu of an outro that mirrors the episode title, we finally heard "Season of the Witch," a funky, distaff version by former supermodel Karen Elson.) Do you wish we'd see more — or less — of Alcide? Are you down with what the witches are brewing? Are you dreading the day Eric gets his memory back? And what should Jason and Crystal name their first cub? (Mowgli Bob? Simba Sue?) Let me know in the comments below!

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On Sunday's episode of True Blood, the witches and the vampires square off for what is sure to be this season's battle royale. Sookie, for perhaps the first time in the series, finds herself utterly alone in her fight against the world. Tara is off battling vampires. Alcide has reconciled with Debbie. Jason is too busy being forced to propagate a race of werepanthers. Bill is consumed by Portia Bellefleur and other kingly matters. Even her faerie godmother has abandoned her! Sure, Sookie has Amnesia Eric, but in his current state, what help is he? I ask you: Who will pay attention to Sookie, the neediest waitress in all of Renard Parish?! Read on to find out.

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Premiered: September 07, 2008, on HBO
Rating: TV-MA
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Premise: An adaptation of Charlaine Harris' Southern Vampire novels focusing on the human and vampire residents in a small Louisiana town, though in multiple seasons their world has expanded to include shape-shifters, werewolves, fairies, telepaths, witches and other supernatural beings, whose stories, in some cases, have been thousands of years in the making.

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