The Closer Episodes

2005, TV Show

The Closer Episode: "Tapped Out"

Season 5, Episode 6
Episode Synopsis: The team investigates the slaying of a misogynistic ladies' man, a popular Internet figure who was on the cusp of launching a male-centric TV show. Meanwhile, Pope keeps a close eye on Brenda's squad by rotating in as a team member. Adam Arkin directed the episode.
Original Air Date: Jul 13, 2009

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Season 5, Episode 6
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Length: 42:59
Aired: 7/13/2009
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The Closer Episode Recap: "Tapped Out" Season 5, Episode 6

This week on TNT's The Closer, Brenda and her team of crimestoppers got more than a little help on a case from no less than Det. Dick Tracy. Power down your two-way wrist radios, kids, and read on for our recap!

Provenza and Flynn are breakfasting at a diner, discussing Provenza's new joie de vivre — after dating Lauren for nine weeks, he's almost off his blood-pressure meds — when Pope joins them, to be "just one of the guys." That plan is immediately waylaid when a series of black-and-whites pull up across the street.

Provenza pulls closed the window blinds. Pope says, "Yellow tape goes up in your vicinity and that's your reaction?" As Pope dashes off to fight for truth, justice and what not, the boys begrudingly follow.

At the parking garage murder scene, Pope, Flynn and Provenza (still noshing on his healthy melon) meet Det. Richard Tracy (played by Mad TV alum Andrew Daly), who just transferred from Central and serves up a detailed lay of the land. Tracy — who swung by the crime scene on his way back from an all-night shift — impresses the heck out of Pope, especially when he recites the department's new flag-waving mission statement. Offering to file the evidence for the MCD, he says, "We all work for the same woman" — Justice. "Kiss-ass," Flynn whispers. "Big-time," echoes Provenza.

After Tracy leaves, Pope & Co. are startled by a screaming woman who has stumbled upon the dead body. The lady's shrieks continue, nearly non-stop, back at the station. Ultimately, Buzz notes, "I think she's started forming words." Interviewed by Brenda, the woman says, "Oh my god, I just realized I never had sex with a dead person before." Um, and hopefully you never have, says Brenda.

We learn the victim was Mark Bernstein, aka "Intrigue," a guy who made a very nice living marketing advice on how to pick up SHBs (or Smoking-Hot Babes). Sanchez is familiar with (and perhaps a bit too reverential of!) the guy's work. Meanwhile, Pope is on the phone having an impossible time tracking down Det. Tracy. An agog Brenda says to the Chief, "Am I to understand you handed over all the evidence — including the gun — to a Det. DICK Tracy?" Realizing he was scammed, Pope declares, "OK... Now this is definitely a major crime."

The MCD goes to check out the victim's apartment... but "Det. Provenza" has already done so. Apparently, this Dick Tracy is using the business cards he acquired that morning to pass himself off as MCD and work the case. Even though Tracy took off with three boxes' worth of Intrigue's stuff — laptop included — Brenda notes that since he isn't an actual cop, the evidence isn't compromised and still can be used.

They quickly then try to beat Tracy to the "notification" of next-of-kin, but again they are too late. "'Chief Pope' gave us the news," says Bernstein's brother. There, Brenda meets Miss Pappas, a TV exec who was helping Intrigue produce "Tapped", a (disgusting) TV show based on his (questionable) "technique."

Back at the station, Tao has deduced that Tracy gleaned his knowledge of the MCD's every move via a departmental website featuring Pope, his mission statement, case updates, etc. Brenda sets a trap by putting on the site the address of Intrigue's shrieking girlfriend. Soon enough, Tracy shows up there — and is promptly detained by Flynn and the gang.

Tracy's real name is Jonathan Baird, an oft-fired security guard who was kept out of the LAPD due to psych issues. Oh, and he took his case notes in a code that you probably need a cereal-box prize to break. Grilled by Brenda, Baird is only anxious to get back on the case. Seeing an opportunity, Brenda invites "Det. Tracy" to walk them through his version of the crime.

In the murder room, Tracy takes command and begins unspooling a colorful tale of a "cold, dark, unforgiving" parking garage. He occasionally stops to answer, in bad Spanish, questions from "our Latino friend" Sanchez. And at one point he harangues Gabriel, who's on a phone call: "Am I boring you, officer?!"

Ultimately, Tracy produces a DVD from the vic's laptop — the pilot for Intrigue's new show. As Brenda watches the misogynistic mess, she marvels, "He did this to eight women and he only got shot once?"

The eight women "tapped" on video by Intrigue are brought to the station, while Pope frets that "no matter how this turns out, I'm screwed" for ceding the evidence to a civilian. Brenda then gets an idea. Pope plays into Tracy's delusions and claims to be on his side — not Brenda's — in the fight for justice. The bit dupes Baird into giving up the vic's laptop password: crimestoppers. There, they find a focus group report that sheds light on whodunnit — Miss Pappas.

It turns out that "Tapped" had tested horrifically (you don't say!) and Intrigue had no interest in making changes. He was determined to bring the heretofore successful Pappas down, while still reaping millions from his website and other ventures.

Flynn argues, "This is just a TV show we're talking about — on basic cable, for Christ's sake. Couldn't you have just canceled it?" "I did," answers Pappas. "With extreme prejudice." Clever line, yes, but damn, that end-of-episode confession was way too pat. Brenda closes the case by saying, "Miss Pappas, you just tapped out."

In the squad room, Baird is busily typing up his "official report" — which will actually serve as his signed confession to this, that and the other thing. Pope, meanwhile, is worried about the case going to trial, and his oversights being exposed. Brenda notes that this case (with its non-sympathetic victim) is plea-worthy and should avoid the courtroom. Besides, as Brenda notes, the slip-up "makes you just one of the guys."

Memorable lines:

* Flynn to Provenza: "You know what makes you feel older? Your age."

* Provenza detailing for Flynn his and Lauren's "activities" as sirens and honking outside bleep out everything save for "massaging each other," "my handcuffs" and some mimed pelvic thrusts. He closes with: "And that's all followed by a half-hour of aerobics and two fish-oil capsules."

* Pope, when Det. Tracy commends Flynn and Provenza on being so fast: "First time anyone's accused them of that."

* Brenda spying the victim's headshot: "This is the hook-up king? His method must really work."

* Baird mimicking Brenda: "Blah-dee-blah, blah-blah-blah, y'all."

* Pope, upon seeing Intrigue's sexy desktop wallpaper: "I think I know her."

* Baird: "I guess I'm free to go!" Pope: "Yeah! Um, no."

* Baird, when Brenda gives pointers on filing his "report": "Someone hand me a mirror so I can see if I have the word 'rookie' on my forehead?"

P.S. Make sure to watch my new Mega Minute to find out who Kyra Sedgwick's daughter will be playing on The Closer this season! show less

This week on TNT's The Closer, Brenda and her team of crimestoppers got more than a little help on a case from no less than Det. Dick Tracy. Power down your two-way wrist radios, kids, and read on for our recap!

Provenza and Flynn are breakfasting at a diner, discussing Provenza's new joie de vivre — after dating Lauren for nine weeks, he's almost off his blood-pressure meds — when Pope joins them, to be "just one of the guys." That plan is immediately waylaid when a series of black-and-whites pull up across the street.

Provenza pulls closed the window blinds. Pope says, "Yellow tape goes up in your vicinity and that's your reaction?" As Pope dashes off to fight for truth, justice and what not, the boys begrudingly follow.

At the parking garage murder scene ... read more

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Premiered: June 13, 2005, on TNT
Rating: TV-14
User Rating: (1,446 ratings)
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Premise: A strong, quirky woman leads an elite Los Angeles crime unit that tackles high-profile cases. Originally from Atlanta, the junk-food-loving Southern belle is a CIA-trained interrogator who's an expert at obtaining confessions that lead to convictions. From the creative team behind 'Nip/Tuck.'

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