Ali and the nine remaining guys continue their round-the-world trip with a visit to Iceland on this week's The Bachelorette. But while she and her suitors enjoy the sights, the real question remains: Will Ali enjoy the sight of Kasey's new "love shield" tattoo when she goes on her first two-on-date with Kasey and Justin? Will the love warrior or the wrestler win the rose?
To get things started, the guys must compete for the one-on-one date with Ali by writing a love poem for her (with extra credit if they fit an Icelandic word in, because this is fourth grade after all). Either my personal favorite Chris L. will win because he's genuine and in touch with his emotions, or Kasey "the love guardian" will win because he's already proven he excels (or is it fails?) at the most cheesy expressions of affection.
Oh, wait, maybe Chris N. will win so producers finally have time to give him some face time on camera and I can finally understand how he made it so this far. No offense to him, he looks a lot less harmful than crazy Kasey, but I'm frustrated that he's one of the final nine and yet I know so little about him.
Once the guys start reading their works of art (or three minutes of desperate scrambling), Kasey's is the most laugh-out-loud, if only because he mumbles the entire poem and you can immediately tell by the look on Ali's face (and by the sheer fact that she's not a mind reader) that she has no idea what he's saying. Kasey takes her laugh at the end as a good thing — little does he know that's her signal for complete and utter bafflement.
On the other end, Chris N. speaks loud and clear, but my theory is totally wrong. He doesn't say anything particularly memorable or original and causes laughter from the crowd of other guys.
The best is saved for last and Kirk and Frank are the two major stand-outs. Kirk is romantic while Frank is heart-warming, but also hilarious. In the end, Ali chooses Kirk since she hasn't had a one-on-one date with him yet. Cut to producers showing a shot of Kasey saying how jealous he is that Kirk has obtained the one-on-one date. Alright, producers, I get it. You want all the viewers to think he's over-the-top and crazy and intense, but he's just as jealous as anyone would be in his position so, right now, I'm not buying it.
On the one-on-one date, Ali and Kirk get in the romantic mode by trying on dorky sweaters at a local shop. The two decide on matching sweaters and scarves, but as they walk around town eating and feeding the ducks, they look more like cousins than a couple. The two seem to be having a fun time together, but when they finally sit down to talk about the important stuff, Kirk holds back a lot about his dating life and will only say he hasn't dated anyone for more than year, which instantly worries Ali.
Meanwhile, back at their hotel, we find out Roberto, Chris L., Chris N., Craig R., Ty and Frank are going on the group date, which leaves Justin and Kasey on the pressure cooker two-on-one date. Justin immediately gets his "game face" on and says he needs to take him out and at this point, I think being the underdog has gone to Justin's head. Let's hope for his own sake, he can bring that determination to the date himself, although who knows how much competition he actually faces again Kasey (hey, Ali could pull a Jake and send them both home!)
Later in the evening, Kirk explains that he was once a college track star, but when he moving into an old house near his college, he quickly became very ill because the house had asbestos. Before he knew why he was so sick (short-term memory loss, weight loss, etc.), he says he was scared he may not wake up the next day. Then Kirk lays it on thick and explains he wants to be in a relationship that is evolving and teaches him to be a better person. It's exactly what Ali wants to hear and she gives him a rose, before kissing him a few dozen times.
Back at the hotel/house, Frank tries to get Kasey pumped and confident for his two-on-one date even though he still has no clue when he's going to show Ali his tattoo.
On the group date the next day, southern cowboy Ty takes the lead as everyone goes horseback riding. The guys, some of whom have experience on horses and some of whom do not (I'm looking at you, Chris L.) look pretty dorky considering they are all wearing matching blue ski jackets.
At the house, the tension continues to build as Justin goes to the doctor (apparently his makes house calls in Iceland?) to get his cast removed. He symbolically throws his crutches in the trash in what he calls a "small step for Justin and a big step for Rated R."
After horseback riding, the group date ventures to the bottom of a cave. Just like last week, Frank is again complaining that he's not getting more alone time with Ali, even though, yet again, I will point out that he signed up to be on The Bachelorette. Ali notices immediately that Frank is "nonexistent" on the group date and says that's his choice since she has plenty of other guys to occupy her time with.
During the evening portion of the group date, Ali quickly gets the guys' temperatures rising with a dip in a steamy lagoon. She first grabs alone time with Ty, to thank him for helping her during horseback riding, and with Chris L. He may my personal favorite, but Ali says she's still trying to figure out whether her attraction to Chris L. is on a friend level or a romantic level, but the two share a hot kiss and a few good laughs, so hopefully he's staying around. On the opposite end of the lagoon, Frank is staring them down and is pretty much DOA.
Finally, Frank finds his courage and takes Ali out of the lagoon and in front of the fire. Ali puts Frank on the hot seat about his lack of star power in the group dates and says she reaches out for him but he doesn't reciprocate. The stern talk from Ali seems to get Frank thinking and hopefully he'll stop being such a sour puss about these group dates in the future. Also a wake-up call for Frank? When Ali gives the rose to Ty for always being there for her (hint, hint, hint Frank).
The next day it's finally time for the two-on-date that Justin and Kasey have been smack-talking about the entire episode. The unlikely trio goes on a helicopter ride to get close to the erupting volcano. The three then touch down on a nearby glacier, where they discover a candlelit cave (complete with a rose for the taking). Ali first sits down with Justin while Kasey is left out in the cold. But while Kasey assumes Justin is going to waste his entire alone time talking poorly about his competition, Justin is charming and attentive and wise about the process of the show in general.
Immediately, things look bad for Kasey, not only because Justin proves himself to be a good date, but also because Ali says that after her last date with Kasey, all he has to do this time is "act normal." Dun dun dun. I don't know about anyone else, but I'm excited to see Kasey whip out his new skin decoration. Oh, here we go. Just as Ali says she hopes that what she said the other day (about him backing off) didn't take anything away from who he is), he explains he's done something "crazy." Ali just sits there completely stunned and grinning from ear-to-ear in a deer in the headlights sort of way. Ali breaks the silence to say his mom is going to kill him, but thanks Kasey for being himself.
After the big reveal, Ali gets the two guys together and starts to cry when she has to make the decision. She quietly announces she's giving Justin the rose and asks him to wait in the helicopter while she says goodbye to Kasey. Ali explains that she knows he's ready to meet someone right now and settle down and that she doesn't want to hold him back here and hold him here (she says as she leaves him alone with his new ink on a glacier!).
She says she just felt that something wasn't there. Not only was there a lack in chemistry, but Kasey needs someone he can shower with love who won't be overwhelmed with the affection like Ali was.
In the end, Ali wasn't as freaked out about the tattoo as I thought she would be (unless she's a better actress than I think she is), and cocky Justin is just glad he won in the end as he predicted (oh, brother).
At the cocktail reception, Frank shows Ali he's listening and takes Ali away first. He says he's learned his lesson after the group date and teacher's pet gets a reward in a big kiss, or two, from Ali.
Next up is Craig R., who is nice and all but hasn't been able to distinguish himself in any way from the competition. First, he makes a lot of jokes about his frequent group dates, but wins Ali over with a fake tattoo reminiscent of Kasey's love shield and gives Ali a really good laugh. Chris N. is the guy who really crashes and burns. When Ali asks him to describe his funny side, he says he "likes Mexican food" (yes, really). Ali slowly pulls herself back and although they seem to get along OK, there are no sparks whatsoever even though Chris N. tells the cameras he thinks it went well (you need to go on more dates, Chris N., like asap).
Chris L. pulls Ali away from the train wreck and the two talk about their future a little bit. The best part about Chris L. is he's fully aware of his weaknesses in comparison to the other guys, but also knows how to best break those barriers down over time. Roberto follows with much less talking and much more kissing.
At the actual rose ceremony, Kirk, Ty and Justin already have roses. Ali then selects Frank, Chris L., Roberto, and Craig R. Chris N.'s worried look is hilarious, but I won't miss him at all. He should be thankful he got this far considering Ali didn't seem to know anything about him (even though he seems just devastated in the limo ride to the hotel).
So do you think right person went home (and if you don't, then please explain why)? Who do you think is going back to the States without a rose next? Which guy is the front-runner at this point in the game?
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