The Bachelorette Episodes

2003, TV Show

The Bachelorette Episode: "The Bachelorette"

Season 5, Episode 9
Episode Synopsis: Jillian arrives on Maui with the three remaining bachelors, all of whom she says she loves. She trusts her safety on a rope course to one, soars over the island in a helicopter with another and cruises to a secluded cove with the third, who shows just how serious he is. At the rose ceremony, Jillian discusses with one man their night together in the fantasy suite before telling all three which one she loves the least.
Original Air Date: Jul 13, 2009

The Bachelorette Episode Recap: July 13, 2009 Season 5, Episode 9

This week, Jillian goes on Hawaiian dates with the three remaining bachelors, Ed surprises her by flying his family to Hawaii, and Jill and one of the bachelors have intimacy issues.

Hello, and welcome back to our recap. To the disappointment of everyone, I'll be handling this edition with the help of my lovely fiancée instead of relying on her to do it herself, as she did last week to widespread acclaim. I was in Los Angeles, covering Michael Jackson's memorial, where I got to meet the magnificent Chris Harrison. Besides holding it down for the TV Guide Network, Mr. Harrison also hosts a little show we happen to recapping at this very instant. I didn't get a chance to ask him who wins.

This episode begins with a stunningly candid moment: The producers somehow capture rare footage of Jillian walking on a beach. She draws a heart in the sand, with the cryptic message, "Jillian+?"

Me: Indeed: Jillian+?

Fiancée : I'd say Ed. That's my gut right now. But if it was me it would be F (for fiancée) + R (for Reid.) I.Y.W.I.T.P. (if you weren't in the picture).

Me: Thanks.

Jillian goes on dates with Kiptyn, Reid, and Ed. Her date with Kiptyn is pretty typical for The Bachelorette: rope climbing and some metaphors about leaps of faith and falling. Then they go to the Fantasy Suite, where romance ensues.

Next, Reid and Jillian go up in a helicopter with a pilot who says he's the only ordained pastor-pilot in the state of Hawaii. He offers to marry them. Kind of cool, but who would fly the copter? Reid wisely demurs. On the ground, Jillian raises the issue again.

Jillian: Did I freak you out when I talked about marriage on the helicopter?

Reid: Yes, because who would've flown the —

Fiancée: He didn't say that. Don't put words in Reid's mouth.

Me: It's what he should have said.

Jillian tells Reid she wants him to talk more about his feelings.

Fiancée: Stop telling him to talk about his feelings! That's what she did last week. Because she's insecure.

Reid: Like, I like you. How much?

Reid spreads his arms.

Reid: I'm like, this much.

Later, at dinner, Jillian starts up again with the feelings thing.

Reid: At the end of this, am I ready to propose? Maybe. I'm indecisive... and it's a problem.

Jillian gives Reid a Fantasy Suite card. In the Fantasy Suite, they talk even more. Some background at this point: We've already seen from the previews of future episodes that Jillian has intimacy issues with one of the bachelors. Fiancée and I have rewound the segment many times and concluded the unlucky bachelor is Reid.

Reid: You ask good questions. And, I need to answer them. I know I'm not good at saying it or describing, the feelings. But it doesn't mean that I don't ... serious feelings for you.

Me: Is he drunk?

Fiancée: We know she is.

Reid: It's, so hard to throw the L-word. I just don't say that...

Jillian: A lot.

Reid: Yeah. But it could be, at some point in the future. That could happen.

Jillian: That what could happen? Love love love? Love love?

Reid: Yeah.

An aside: I know some people didn't like me doing the recap in caveman talk a couple weeks ago. I hope you're equally annoyed at Reid speaking caveman throughout this episode, as when he tells the audience he might be falling in love with Jillian but isn't prepared to "mutter the words."

Me (to fiancée): Muhrumruh.

Fiancée : Muhrumruh too.

Cut to Reid and Jillian in a tub covered in bubbles. They make out. Then we cut to her date with Ed.

Me: Wait, they don't have... intimacy issues?

Fiancée : But that could only mean — her intimacy issues are with Ed!

Me: I'm beginning to think some of the drama on this show is the result of clever editing!

Ed tells Jillian he's been thinking about her constantly, and in a teasing callback to that time a few weeks ago when he quit the show to focus on his job, she chides, "Really? You weren't thinking about work?" She also says she's sorry she didn't get to meet his family.

Jillian: How do you get engaged to somebody without meeting his family?

Me: Why don't you not get married?

Fiancée : I know. Idiot, just date him.

They jump in some water and swim around. Ed explains that his parents call him Ritchie, "in order to distinguish me from my dad." It's confusing, as you'll soon see.

Next, Ed reveals that he's flown out his family to Hawaii.

Me: So the whole family can see him fail to perform.

Fiancée : Ed couldn't get so much as a nibble back in Texas.

Jillian meets Ed's parents, then asks to talk with his mom. Meanwhile Ed's dad, whose name is Rick, spells out his concerns about Ed/Ritchie's appearance on the show. But wait: If Ed's dad's name isn't Ed, why do he and the other relatives refer to Ed as Ritchie? And if the family calls Ed Ritchie, then why does Rick call Ed Ed throughout this episode? We don't watch this show to be confused, folks. That's what Lost is for. Anyway, back to Ed/Ritchie's's dad, Rick.

Rick: What the hell are we doing here? What is going on?

Ed explains that his feelings are true and he would be willing to propose to Jillian if he's the one she chooses. Later Rick talks to Jillian about what a great guy Ed is. He chokes up.

Rick: I've never seen Ed put his feelings on his shirtsleeve. ... I just want you to be happy, that's all.

Jillian says she's looking forward to some "sexy time" with Ed and gives him a Fantasy Suite card. He shows up at her room in a Hawaiian shirt and she talks about how sexy he is. Because the only thing sexier than a Borat reference is a Hawaiian shirt.

Fiancée : I can't watch. I hope they don't show him unable to [profane euphemism for discreet lovemaking].

Me: Once again I am forced to condemn your intemperate remarks.

Ed tells Jillian he's falling in love with her. She says they need to go to bed. She goes to the bathroom and comes out in a weird nightshirt. Then they rub lotion on each other.

Me:  What's she wearing?

Fiancée : It's like a Paul Bunyan long-john top.

Guitar music plays. The camera pans to the rolling waves outside the Fantasy Suite. Then the Fantasy Suite light turns on.

Ed: I was very nervous and it just didn't happen. I couldn't show her that I really truly am in love with her.

If we were confused by the Ed/Ritchie thing, we're totally baffled now.

Fiancée : I can't tell if they just mean they weren't connected, or they couldn't  [profane euphemism for discreet lovemaking]

Me: Yeah — how could Faraday get shot by his own mom?

We cut to Jillian talking to the great Chris Harrison about her expectations for the different guys. We flash back to her telling Reid he has to be ready to get engaged at the end of the show and we all feel horrible for him. Then she explains a bit more about the Ed situation.

Jillian: We both just sort of wanted to fall asleep, and that confused me.

Me: If she wanted to fall asleep too, what's the problem? Sounds like she's tweaking the facts.

Fiancée : If I were a dude I couldn't [profane euphemism for tender lovemaking] some girl in a Paul Bunyon shirt.

Before deciding which of the three guys will have to go, Jillian watches a video from each of them. Kiptyn says he could see himself falling for her and wants to see where things lead. Reid confesses that he's avoided her tough questions so far, not because he doesn't have feelings for her, but because "my feelings have grown so strong so quickly." Ed says he wants to take their relationship to "the next level," and that he would love to have the opportunity to propose to her.

"I love you," he says. Jillian exhales with a kind of "whoa" sound.

It's time to choose between the three, and Jillian pulls Ed aside to ask what happened in the suite. Ed says he's "having a hard time adjusting to everything," and that there are "too many external things that are affecting the way I'm behaving." He asks her to trust him. She walks back with Ed, and Kiptyn gives a look like he knows he's done.  Then it's time for the final two roses of this season of The Bachelorette, and they go to —

Jillian: Kiptyn

Fiancée  and me: Whooooooaaaa!

Fiancée : Didn't see that coming!

Next, we enjoy the longest wait ever. Until:

Jillian: Ed.

Fiancée : Bye Reid.

Me: He's better off. Unless he wants to be married in like two weeks.

Fiancée : There's a lot of Philadelphia hotties who'll want him.

Me: Third place is respectable.

Reid and Jillian talk and he admits he should have opened up more, with one final caveman speech.

Reid: No, I know, and I should've, opened up, sooner. I didn't give you, all the, y'know, signs that you needed to have. Because, I don't know. It's a shame, because I should've. ... I don't know what to say.


Next week: The men tell all.

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This week, Jillian goes on Hawaiian dates with the three remaining bachelors, Ed surprises her by flying his family to Hawaii, and Jill and one of the bachelors have intimacy issues.

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Premiered: January 08, 2003, on ABC
Rating: TV-14
User Rating: (726 ratings)
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Premise: A rose-wielding single woman looks for Mr. Right among a passel of hunky men, just like on 'The Bachelor' but with the gender roles reversed. Original 'Bachelor' runner-up Trista Rehn was the first bachelorette, and her selection of Colorado firefighter Ryan Sutter culminated in the three-part special 'Trista and Ryan's Wedding.'



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