The Bachelorette Episodes

2003, TV Show

The Bachelorette Episode: "The Bachelorette"

Season 5, Episode 1
Episode Synopsis: Jillian Harris, the 29-year-old Canadian who was a runner-up for the heart of 2009 Bachelor Jason Mesnick, gets a new perspective on the rose ceremony. But first, Jillian meets the 25 guys who arrive by limousine at the show's L.A. mansion. Then, at the introductory cocktail party, she meets five "crashers" as well. The other 25 don't like the intrusion, but all 30 are in the mix for the evening's first-impression rose. At the rose ceremony, Jillian pares the field to 20.
Original Air Date: May 18, 2009

The Bachelorette Episode Recap: May 18, 2009 Season 5, Episode 1

On the season premiere of The Bachelorette, Jillian Harris meets not 25, but 30 bachelors and has to send 10 of them packing.

I'd like to begin our recap by welcoming back everyone who swore off The Bachelor-Bachelorette franchise after the Jason-Molly-Melissa fiasco. Ha-ha, you have no convictions. It's cool; neither do I. My lovely fiancée, with whom I recapped The Bachelor, is also back to help recap The Bachelorette. What qualifies us for such an important responsibility? We've been together longer than anyone who's ever appeared on either show, with the exception of Trista and Ryan.

Fiance and me: [Wordless high five.]

Tonight's show begins by reminding us of new Bachelorette Jillian's backstory: She got kicked off The Bachelor last season so Jason could get to work with the Molly-Melissa catastrophe. She was known for testing out guys by seeing what they put on their hot dogs, and wanted a man who would be her best friend.

Next the show tries to make us fall in love with Jillian through a montage of corny posters brought to life: Jillian trying on heels, working out, getting out of a pool, and washing a car. Hey Bachelorette, you forgot leaning over a pool table.

Me: Are you excited about The Bachelorette?

Fiancée: Kind of. She's so normal. I like more scandal.

We meet a few of the guys, including Michael, a breakdance instructor I like instantly, and Stephen, a hilariously pompous guy who's pure comic relief. Also Juan, a general contractor who works with his mom and does pushups on volleyballs. Then we meet Kyle, a graphic designer who likes thrifting, and a Serbian guy from Texas who declares, "I am an oil man." His name is Sasha but in this recap his name will be Daniel Plainview. Finally we meet Jake, a pilot, who says "flying is my art," and John P., a marketing manager who blows Jason a kiss to thank him for not going for Jillian.

Jillian and the brilliant Chris Harrison talk about her search for love, and having to slay a few dragons to find the prince. (Please, leave the tortured dragon metaphors to this guy.) Chris also asks if there's anything she regrets about her experience on The Bachelor.

Jillian: You want me to say the hot tub scene, don't you? ... I don't regret it.

(An aside: During a Q&A with The Bachelorette, I also asked about her hot-tub liaison with Jason, in a less-slick way than Chris did. She called it "probably the most inappropriate question ever.")

Next, Jillian meets the guys, who my fiancée and I will now grade on first impressions, on a scale of 1 to 10. Her score goes first, then mine.

Kiptyn, a surfing business developer: 7.5/1

Bryan, a high school teacher and coach who picks Jillian up when he meets her: 5/1

John P.: 5.5/0

Brian, who greets her as "Hot Tub Harris": 5.5/10 (Right on with the hot-tub call-out, dude.)

Jake the pilot: 6.5 ("He's a nerd, but pretty hot.")/1

Dave, who pauses very nervously: 5.5 ("He would have gotten 6.5 if he weren't so nervous.")/5 ("He would've gotten a 1 if he weren't so nervous. We've all been there.")

Tanner F.: 4 "Because of his lime green shirt")/1

Michael the break-dance instructor: 6.5/15 ("Breakdancing is fresh!")

Robby, a bartender: 4/1

John H.: 6/2 (free point for not combing his hair)

Daniel Plainview: 7.25/1

Brad: 3/1

Mathue, personal trainer who shows up with his hat covered in country-western artist signatures: 8/8

Simon, who is from England and brought some tea bags sent by his mom: 7/7

Jesse, a winemaker: 5/1

Julien, restaurateur 6 ("Reminds me of an Italian Spencer Pratt.")/5

Wes, country singer from Austin, Texas: 4/3 ("Austin is a super-nice town.")

Kyle, graphic designer: 5 ("a hipster Jerry Seinfeld")/0 ("a hipster Jerry Seinfeld")

Adam, a nice, eager guy: 5/0

Stephen: 7 ("He's so obnoxious I like it")/1

Juan: 9 ("He's hot!")/0 ("...")

Caleb, photographer: 6/1 

Josh, lifeguard: 6/1

Greg: 6 ("Loses points for saying, 'Want to hug it out?'")/0

Mark, pizza entrepreneur: 5 ("For wearing a double-breasted suit — bad.")/3 ("For wearing a double-breasted suit — snazzy.")

With all the guys introduced, Jillian gets to know them, starting with Jesse, a winemaker who refers to wine as "love juice." He also has a shirt that says, "Aspiring Canadian." I'm bumping him up to a solid 5.

After small-talk with Tanner F., Jillian seeks out Kiptyn. Go, Kiptyn. They make more small talk. Then Juan brings her a glass of white wine, though she's told Jesse she likes really dark wines. He says he works hard, plays hard (yawn), but he's a contractor, and she's an interior designer, so not a bad match.

Fiancée: He's hot.

Me: ...

Chris brings in the First Impression Rose. The guys say the atmosphere is more tense. Hipster Kyle says "people are getting catty" and that his style sets him apart. He draws one of those stupid finger-mustache tattoos on her finger, except it's not a tattoo. Everyone looks a little drunky at this point. Wes breaks out the guitar to play a song he's written her.

Brad: That was lame!

Jillian: That was great!

My new fave Michael teaches Jillian to breakdance. She kicks off her shoes and the show starts playing some scratchy-scratch break dancey music. He and Greg have an old-school breakdancing contest. This is the best thing that has ever happened on the Bachelor or Bachelorette. Michael wins easily, of course.

Dave, who choked when he and Jillian first met, tugs at her heartstrings a bit as they talk. And ours. He says he hopes to make a better impression.

Fiancée: He's cute. He's sincere.

Chris comes in, doing his trademark tap-a-glass-with-silverware-to-get-everyone's-attention thing. As an aside, I've started doing this whenever I make an announcement, no matter how minor. My fiancée thinks it's really funny.

Fiancée: False.

Chris says he has a surprise and introduces five more guys.

Fiancée: Oooooooooh!

Me: This show's awesome.

Fiancée: [Pointing toward glass of tequila on the rocks consumed throughout recap] How many of those have you had?

Me: ...

We meet the new five. They are Bryce, Reed, other Tanner (Tanner P.), Ed, and Mike (who throws her a baseball, which she catches, and then says, "Oh, you are a great catch.") We give them a collective 8/2.

Ed tells her his mom thinks him and Jillian would be a good match.

Fiancée: They're connecting.

Tanner P. says you can find the woman you want to marry based on her feet. He plots to get Jillian's shoes off, and gets her to dip her feet in the pool. Mike shows up and dries Jillian's feet right in front of Tanner P. Jillian says "eh" to remind us she's Canadian.

Fiancée: Canada is awesome. I don't think I've ever met a bad Canadian.

Jillian gives the First Impression Rose to previously nervous Dave. Everyone claps.

Fiancée and me: [Clap-clap-clap] 

Fiancée: [Pointing toward glass of tequila on the rocks consumed throughout recap] Can you put that on a coaster?

Me: It's on your copy of The Time Traveler's Wife.

Fiancée: Oh, okay.

Jillian chats with Chris about her impressions so far, and then has to decide which 20 Bachelors to keep. She goes with Jake, Jesse, Wes, Mathue, Michael, Robert —

Fiancée: Juan!

Me: Shhh!

— Ed, Reed, Simon, Kiptyn, Mike, Brian, Daniel Plainview, Julien, Tanner P., Mark, Brad, Tanner F. —

Fiancée: Juan!

Chris: Gentlemen, the final rose tonight...

Jillian: Juan.

Fiancée: Thank God.

Hipster Kyle goes home, along with funny Stephen, second-tier breakdancer Greg, and several others. "Maybe she doesn't like awesome guys," Stephen says.

I know how he feels. My fiancée doesn't like awesome guys either.

See everyone next week!

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On the season premiere of The Bachelorette, Jillian Harris meets not 25, but 30 bachelors and has to send 10 of them packing.

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Premiered: January 08, 2003, on ABC
Rating: TV-14
User Rating: (725 ratings)
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Premise: A rose-wielding single woman looks for Mr. Right among a passel of hunky men, just like on 'The Bachelor' but with the gender roles reversed. Original 'Bachelor' runner-up Trista Rehn was the first bachelorette, and her selection of Colorado firefighter Ryan Sutter culminated in the three-part special 'Trista and Ryan's Wedding.'



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