Today Now! brings you the inspiring story of Brian Peete, a fat boy who hid his obesity from other children at the pool by keeping his shirt on.
A new Department of Labor report finds personal outsourcing is revolutionizing how Americans don’t do their own work.
After another bite of sour fish, Doc struggles to hold down the Jeremy Lin trade, Derrick Rose in a gurney, and the wusses on the Mariners.
White House officials are confident the President will be able to convince the wildfire to stop incinerating large swaths of land and American homes.
From the Onion Prison Channel: Prison analysts warn rising inflation could devalue everything from rim jobs to shivs.
Officials say the President's home teleprompter is simply a tool to make sure pillow talk with Michelle or conversations with his Mother-In-Law go smoothly.
White House officials admit Obama's extreme confidence and total euphoria over "hope" and "change" were symptoms of a prolonged manic episode
Rep. Gregory White (D-NH) tearfully asks forgiveness for the degrading and sinful acts he is about to engage in.
Online universities and bible colleges will be among the thousands of teams vying to prove they are the best in the nation.
A fan asks about a sequel to the poorly received "The Onion Movie." Features editor Joe Garden explains where they got the photos for the American Voices column: e.g., photos of columnists Jean Teasdale and Jim Anchower came from a high school yearbook.
On Today Now!, Jim and Tracy meet James Kimura, a 12-year-old afflicted with the ability to spell long words normal kids don't even care about.
Teachers may have overlooked a number of red flags, including Bobby Knowles' turbulent home life, violent writing, and previous school shootings.
The MacBook Wheel lets consumers accomplish everyday tasks like typing with just a few dozen spins and clicks of a wheel.
Made by Pfizer, Despondex is the first drug designed to treat the symptoms of excessive perkiness.
Reggie tries not to agree with Doc as they discuss the soon-to-be Super Bowl losers, who the hell Marco Scutaro is, and Tom Coughlin’s impending death at the hands of Bill Belichick.
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