Rep. Bruce Durant proposes a bill protecting anyone who who may have had a little too much to drink at a White House event and called Michelle Obama a "beautiful queen."
Obama will abandon complex policies on emissions, clean coal and refocus on achievable goals like applying deodorant daily, learning what to say when you burp.
Innocent civilians across the impact zone are picking up the pieces after Secretary of State Clinton's tedious visits to their farms, cultural centers
Kenny from GOOMF and Tim Devannon from the Steam Room are in London to discuss God's new ark full of Olympians and the children whose heads will hold the apples for the archery competition.
Congo lawmakers are convinced the stimulus package will give Congolese the assault weapons they need to obtain clothes, food.
Dan Kellogg visits Today NOW! with money tips for one particular woman who forgot to close her bedroom drapes last night.
An honors student died in the crash today, leaving the nation to wonder why the grisly experience of burning alive was not reserved for Glenn Beck.
Shelby Cross continues her crusade against bogs and marshes, which are good for nothing other than hiding bodies.
Psychic Kenneth Quinn connects Today Now! studio guests with former landlords and friends of work friends who have died for stilted conversations from beyond.
Officials say the President's home teleprompter is simply a tool to make sure pillow talk with Michelle or conversations with his Mother-In-Law go smoothly.
11 year old Thomas Demming visits Today NOW! with the magical friend he hid for weeks in his bedroom closet.
White House officials admit Obama's extreme confidence and total euphoria over "hope" and "change" were symptoms of a prolonged manic episode
Today Now! welcomes adventurer and balloonist Trent Montague, who is determined to steer the conversation to the horrors of horse abuse.
Inspired by the First Lady's health plan for children, Vice President Joe Biden has pledged to make every American woman beach-ready.
On Today Now!, Jim and Tracy meet James Kimura, a 12-year-old afflicted with the ability to spell long words normal kids don't even care about.
Download the TV Guide app for iPhone, iPad and Android!