Question: Please, Michael, I am dying for some scoop on National Bingo Night. Will the B and the N finally hook up? Are the rumors about one of the vowels dying true?
Answer: That wouldn't even get a laugh in the Catskills, George. A tomato in your face maybe, but not a laugh.
3:54: Oooh, they're handing out free boxes of popcorn at the entrance. Thank you, ABC! Now I know I'm going to love your pilots!3:59: How excited am I about the popcorn? I'm not even bitter that they stuck me in the nosebleed section.4:01: The downside of popcorn? Popcorn breath. Everyone around me has it. Good thing I stopped for Tic Tacs.4:03: Showtime!!!4:05: Boring exec talks about cross-platforming. A dark cloud of popcorn breath is forming over the stage here at Lincoln Center. I think someone in the orchestra seats just passed out from the stench.4:16: OMG, I'm literally getting a nosebleed!!!!!! Just kidding. I'm just bored.4:20: It's obligatory clip time! All of the best moments from the past season compiled into a neat little trailer. My favorite part. Seriously.4:25: ABC president Steve McPherson (aka The Headliner) takes the stage. Last year he performed a show-stopping jig, à la Dancing with the Stars. How will he top himself?4:26: OMG! It's the cast of Ugly Betty ...