Victoria tries to avert financial disaster by accepting her old rival Nancy's offer to buy Lovespring International. She also begins playing the stock market---with Lydia's money. Meanwhile, Burke rashly agrees to start a family with his wife, Figgy. Camryn Manheim, Tara Karsian.
Lydia and Steve have difficulty with a client (Tim Meadows) who makes frequent donations to sperm banks. Meanwhile, Burke is sure that the strange-looking statue Victoria gave him for his birthday has a hidden meaning, so he becomes obsessed with finding it.
Steve tries to put an end to growing tensions in the office by having staff members switch responsibilities for one day. Meanwhile, Burke hits a new low when he “hires” a homeless woman (Alanis Morissette) to paint his office, then tries to set her up with a hard-to-please client. Michael Hitchcock.
A massage therapist named Drake (Michael McDonald) rents office space at Lovespring International. To make room for Drake's business, Lydia and Burke are forced to work in close proximity to one another, which causes problems. Meanwhile, Alex develops suspicions about Drake.
Staff tensions increase when Victoria poses nude for an artist, who happens to be the only man to ever break up with Tiffany. Also, Burke and Lydia fend off unwanted admirers during a couple-counseling session.
Steve has difficulty resisting the urge to massage a patient's feet, even though doing so could cost him his job; Alex has a bone to pick with Whoopi Goldberg; and Burke critiques Wally's poetry in hopes of making it less offputting to women.
The agency holds a mixer to encourage hard-to-please clients to renew their memberships. The event gets off to a bad start, but then Tiffany turns things around by spiking the punch. Dave Foley, Mindy Sterling, Patrick Bristow.
Lydia spends a sleepless night scared of her married boyfriend; armed with a gun, Steve attempts to alleviate her fears with war stories from Kuwait. Elsewhere, Burke gives Alex advice on how to further his career as a documentary filmmaker; and Tiffany makes a vow that interferes with her receptionist job.
Burke is reunited with an old high-school friend who's gay and looking for a date; Victoria and Lydia try to catch a client in a lie; and Alex decides to take his flirtation with Tiffany to the next level by asking her out.
The staff struggles to please a top-notch customer (Lindsey Stoddart) who's upset about the men she has been set up with; Victoria threatens to fire someone if this client's needs aren't met. Victoria: Jane Lynch. Burke: Sam Pancake. Lydia: Wendi McLendon-Covey.