In this episode, we got to further discover how Kathy wants to get off the D-list and onto the
G-list. And by G, I mean Grammy. I think mama Maggie said it best: "Don't you have to sing or play instruments to get a Grammy?" Of course, Kathy doesn't plan on
singing for her (Grammy) supper - she wants to be nominated for either Best Comedy Album or Best Spoken Word recording for her
CD. So this week, we witnessed portions of Kathy's campaign to
grab that Grammy nomination.
I've got to first say that I saw the brilliant "Kathy Griffin: For Your Consideration" billboard (where Kathy is crawling hysterically on a red carpet) while driving recently on Sunset Blvd. here in LA. Did I almost get into an accident because I couldn't take my eyes off the billboard? Yep. And I immediately thought to myself: "Must mention this in the blog." Done. I'll add that the billboard is placed in one of the busiest sections of Sunset Blvd. (right off Crescent Heights), so I've got to commend Kathy's marketing peeps for a job well done and for literally stopping traffic.
Although the episode focused on Kathy's Grammy campaign, or as I'd like to call it, her
Gramm-paign, it was filled with highlights galore, both Grammy-related and not:
- Before the Gramm-paign began, Kathy had to do a cover shoot for
American Way magazine (that would be the American Airlines in-flight publication, don't cha know). There she was, sitting on a bus stop in a not-so-nice-looking area of LA, dressed in an oh-so-nice ball gown and looking fabulous, accompanied by, of course, her Emmy. I guess it was supposed to be funny that the Emmy was on the sidewalk, adjacent to the bus stop, followed by a shot of Kathy holding a small pooch, then talking to a random dude who happened to be walking by. Maybe we had to be there?
- This rather lame photo shoot prompted Kathy to move on: "It's time for a new award. Maybe a Grammy?" Cut to Kathy and Team Griffin flying to the Big Apple to meet with some very successful, very aggressive and very expensive marketing people. But it wasn't just marketing execs. This D-lister-who's-actually-a-C-lister had to go all out and hire
Robert Verdi to design her outfits and she chose only one of the best photographers around -
Mike Ruiz - to shoot the photos. D-list, my ass! (Please say that like Maggie would, to get the full effect.)
- Kathy, post-photo shoot: "It was nice to be
Nicole Richie for one day. I mean, who doesn't want to be? Except that I get hungry."
- Then Kathy took Team Griffin to meet with and get financial advice from money guru
Suze Orman. Not the spot-on
Kristen Wiig
parody on SNL, but the real one. Suze didn't hold back, spewing out advice left and right, but focusing on Jessica (who she called "Jennifer"). It killed me that Kathy wanted to ask Suze if she's ever done
Oprah's finances: "Then I can find out if Oprah and
Gayle have a civil union." Kathy could tell that Suze was getting frustrated with Jessica, giving her a "Suze Smackdown" and negating everything Jessica would say. But I was on Jessica's side when she told Suze why she leases a car (since it's exactly the same reason why
I lease a car): "Because I want a new car every four years." You tell her, Jessica.
- Back in LA, Kathy figured a Grammy nominee is someone who gets a lot of publicity and press, like
Britney. What better way to get press than hiring
Adnan Ghalib? All Adnan (who, at the time, was still dating Britney), had to do was take Kathy to paparazzi-frequented hot spots and suddenly Kathy was all over the tabloids. I loved that Adnan thought he was telling Kathy something she didn't know by saying she could get her picture in a magazine "but they're not going to write anything good." Kathy to Team Griffin: "Does he not know my work?"
- If only we could've heard Britney's conversation with Adnan on his cell phone, the conversation that was happening simultaneously with Kathy's cell chat with Steve Wozniak. As Kathy and Adnan drove through Hollywood talking to their significant-at-that-time others on the phone, she referred to the
four of them as two power couples: "Get ready, Grammys! Here comes Kathy Spears Ghalib!"
- Just when I thought I wasn't getting my Maggie fix, Kathy decided to surprise her mother by showing up at Maggie's condo. Once again, one of Kathy's best gay friends, Patrick, was there keeping Maggie company. Kathy: "Do not fall for that vulnerability act. 'Oh, I'm in a trench coat with a walker!' She will cut you if you look at her sideways." Nothing is funnier than picturing Maggie clubbing with Patrick and his friends, or as Kathy puts it, "closing down the bars with my gays." Kathy was on a roll, though, saying that her mother was "so hungover from clubbing with my gays, I want to call her 'Maggie Winehouse'...or rather: '
White
Winehouse.'"
- Since Kathy figured she had to court the older Grammy voters, she decided to get Maggie some interviews in senior citizen publications and websites such as
Grandparents.com and
ELDR magazine. But Kathy had to coach Maggie first by making sure her mother didn't embarrass her by wearing a Band-Aid or always having facial tissues in her purse and pockets (like most grandmothers do) for "some sneezing emergency." Kathy: "If you have even one balled up Kleenex in your pocket, I'm gonna take you to the home today: Shady Pines." This line especially made me laugh in lieu of its timeliness since the beloved
Estelle Getty passed away last week.
- Kathy, to one of the journalists, about Maggie: "She got a new bra - her first one in 17 years - and we
all had to hear about it."
- The absolute highlight? That would be the one that caused me to TiVo back three times because I was laughing so hard. Kathy, recreating the prayer she used to say out loud before going to sleep each night when she was a child (quietly): "I hate all those guys. I'm so much funnier than they are. They'll see. What I'm gonna do is I'll be funnier than anybody can be. If not, I'll just swear a lot like a boy. Then I'll buy things. And more things. I'll make them pay. I'll make them
all pay. Uhhh...goodnight, Jesus."
What were
your highlights, Kathy fans? Please add them below.
Side note:
Did you hear Kathy was asked to be on
Dancing with the Stars? Click
here for her answer.
For additional
D-List airings, go
here. And you can watch more
Kathy Griffin videos in our
Online Video Guide.
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In this episode, we got to further discover how Kathy wants to get off the D-list and onto the G-list. And by G, I mean Grammy. I think mama Maggie said it best: "Don't you have to sing or play instruments to get a Grammy?" Of course, Kathy doesn't plan on singing for her (Grammy) supper — she wants to be nominated for either Best Comedy Album or Best Spoken Word recording for her CD. So this week, we got to see portions of Kathy's campaign to grab that Grammy nomination.I've got to first say that I saw the brilliant "Kathy Griffin: For Your Consideration" billboard (where Kathy is crawling hysterically on a red carpet) while driving recently on Sunset Blvd. here in LA. Did I almost get into an accident because I couldn't take my eyes off the billboard? Yep. And I immediately thought to myself: "Must mention this in the blog." Done. I'll add that the billboard is placed in one of the busiest sections of Sunset Blvd. (right off Crescent Heights), so I've got to commend Kathy's m...
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