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"The Hansel and Gretel Witch Project" Suzy and Carl enlist Johnny to help them make their video documentary on the Hansel and Gretel Witch, who lives in a forest on the outskirts of town. After the three of them are captured by the witch and stuffed full of cake and pie, Carl and Suzy escape. Johnny stays, enjoying the witch's way with a dessert. "I.Q. Johnny" Fired by his boss for wasting his time inventing a smart drink that makes chimps intelligent, a young research scientist sells the potion to Johnny for dollar. Johnny's resulting genius comes in handy when the town's nuclear plant goes into meltdown. But will the drink wear off before he averts nuclear disaster? "Get Stinky" Johnny's childhood nemesis Stinky Brownstein has moved back to town and Johnny's sickened. Blind to the fact that she's now a beautiful woman who's actually interested in him, Johnny thinks of Stinky as the red-headed neighbor girl who used to torment him with practical jokes, and vows his revenge.
"Lodge Brother Johnny" Johnny finds out Pops and Carl are members of the highly- secret "Brotherhood of the Gnu" and agrees to undergo the secret initiation process to join, which includes eating only one potato chip and listening to Brother Ernie's long boring story about buying a couch. Johnny's so happy to be let into the secret organization that he alerts the media. "Chain Gang Johnny" After being arrested in a case of mistaken identity, Johnny and Carl are shackled to each other and sent to a maximum-security prison operated by a sexy but tyrannical lady-warden. Posing as an old married couple, they escape into the surrounding marshland and proceed to get on each other's nerves a lot. "Lumberjack Johnny" Johnny joins a lumberjack contest so he can get the "winner’s kiss" from the Lumberjack Queen. Through sheer dumb luck, Johnny continuously beats his giant, flannel-loving competition, only to find out that the beautiful young woman he thought was the Queen is actually the Princess, and from the looks of her mom, she was probably adopted.
"A Walk on the Stupid Side" Suzy gets Johnny to take part the "Walk Against Baldness," convincing Mama and Carl to join her in pledging a nickel a mile. When Johnny obnoxiously hits on one of the race coordinators, she alters his race map, sending him on a jaunt around the world. Suzy, Mama and Carl must band together to stop Johnny from crossing the finish line before they end up owing the charity billions of dollars. "Lone Star Bravo" One evening, Mama relates the story of their famous ancestor, Lone Star Bravo, whose exact resemblance to Johnny in flashback is both remarkable and convenient. We follow the saga of Johnny's ancestor, a simple backwoods lad who agrees to become sheriff of the town of Moist Rock to impress frontier chicks, then realizes that he must face off against the brutal outlaw Salad Fork Dan. "Toy Boy Johnny" Johnny is accidentally named the CEO of a huge toy conglomerate and has just days to come up with a best-selling Christmas toy in order to keep his cushy job. The "Johnny Doll with Destruct-O Chip" turns out not to be that toy.
"I Dream of Johnny" Johnny buys a dusty old bottle at an Arabian Bazaar, and is pleased to find that it houses a sexy genie who's obliged to grant him three wishes. Careless with the wording of his wishes, Johnny ends up being operated on by a monkey scientist, having a wife and kids that look and act like him, and finally ends up in the bottle himself, only to be discovered by Carl. "One Angry Bravo" When a department store tells an overly boisterous Johnny that he'll "see him in court," Johnny excitedly heads over to the local courthouse to give him his Christmas list. There, he mistakenly gets jury duty on a simple traffic case and ties up the deliberation process for eight months, only voting guilty after the judge threatens to remove the Ski Bunny Channel from his hotel room. "Carnival of the Darned" Johnny runs away from home and joins a traveling circus of freaks and misfits. He quickly finds a niche among them when it becomes clear that he can fall on his head from great heights without hurting himself, but his rise to fame only incites the jealousy of The Bearded Man, who plots his demise. Luckily for Johnny, Mama is in the audience to save his life and take him back to his real family.
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- Premiered: March 26, 1995
- Rating: TV-Y7
- Premise: Absurdist animation about a muscle-bound narcissist who thinks he's God's gift to women, when in reality his distaff admirers consist of his mother and the little girl who lives next door. This buff blond with a voice like Elvis but little in the brains de… (more)
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