Hey guys, my finger is still on the mend. And things are crazy around here because everyone is flying out to L.A. to cover the Television Critics Association press tour and then I'm off to cover Comic-Con. So be patient with us and the recap posting. We're doing the best we can!
We begin with two kids (African American kids) walking after school in South Central. The girl says her dad will be mad that the boy dragged her down to a bad part of town. But, they're having fun and clearly in major puppy love. Of course, a car rolls up with Latino gang members who starts harassing the girl about the junk in her trunk. The harasser tells the two kids they're in the wrong hood, and then puppy love boy has to go and open his mouth: "At least I'm in the right country." Oh no he didn't! Out comes the Uzi machine gun and blows puppy love away. Noooooooo!!! Bastards.
Cut to Iris McBride's WITSEC ID card: Now Iris Morris.
Mary and Marshall ride along bickering about using the term flight attendant vs. stewardess while Mary has a voiceover about how much she hates the phrase "I'm sorry"... mostly because people are only really sorry that they got caught. Heh! Then Mary sees her to-do list on the dash board: "Raph physical therapy 3:30." With a guilty-sounding "Oh crap," we can tell Mary either already missed it, or is about to bail on it. Marshall says, "You must be the best girlfriend." Ha! Mary picks up the phone and calls Brandi to see if she can take him. Brandi acts (badly) like it'll be a big pain in the ass, but Mary sees right through it and plays along. Brandi changes her slutty bra to an even sluttier one. Oh no, here we go. The "I'm gonna steal your boyfriend bit." To my delightful surprise, she actually has a fit of conscience (I say fit because like a temper tantrum, they're acute and don't happen often). She shakes her head and says, "What am I doing?" Yes, stupid Brandi, what are you doing!? She picks up her phone to call the mysterious Chuck, and a chick answers. Clearly, he's steppin' out, and her self esteem just went to hell in a hand basket.
Marshall and Mary arrive and speak to who I think is another Marshal or a gang task force member of some kind. I really wish they'd introduce people better on this show. He says it took 5 hours to get the family all together except for the witness, who was stashed in West Covina... dude, that sucks for her. I've been there, it's hot and smoggy. At least there's a big mall. Anyhoo, the random police guy/Marshal tells M&M (hee, let's call Mary and Marshall that from now on), that they get to tell the family that they have to move to Albuquerque.
M&M enter the house to the sound of younger daughter, Lily, playing the piano beautifully. Of course, Encyclopedia Britannica Marshall busts out "Bach? Suite No. 3? I haven't heard that on a piano before." LOL... only Marshall. Mary informs the Dr. and his wife that they get to pack two suitcases each. They flip out, because they have no idea what is happening. This kid that shot Iris' boyfriend is in one of the most violent gangs in the country, and she can I.D. him. None of them will be safe until they leave Los Angeles. Mary tells them they have to leave permanently. Ouch.
The family is not accepting the situation because they have worked too hard to build their life. But they can't let Iris go alone, so they agree. Lily is adorable and teases Mary about stealing her boyfriend because she loves all things Latin. The family names every city but Albuquerque as possible new home sites, but guess where they're headed? Marshall sees their kids' growth chart on the door (aww, my family has that too, and has never painted over it), and empathy floods his face.
Back in Albuquerque at the WITSEC office, they are reunited with Lily, and the good Doc chooses this time to ask what the hell she was doing out in that neighborhood, and basically it's all her boyfriend Lawrence's fault. Iris, and good for her, yells at her dad for saying such a terrible thing considering her protected her from being shot.
Raph is getting stretched out in physical therapy and Brandi tells him to quit crying like a baby. He says, "How would you like it if I did that to you?" A naughty grin invades her face and he says to get her mind out of the basura ("garbage" for you non-Spanish speakers).
Mary gives the family the rules of Witness Protection, and they are rough. No contact with any friends, family or coworkers.
Back in rehab, Raph gets mad at Brandi for saying he had sexual dysfunction in front of the therapist earlier. She says that Mary doesn't have the vibe of a "satisfied" woman. Ha. Raph admits there's been no lovin' since before the proposal, but before that, he assures Brandi he and Mary were as hot as tamales. Did I mention Brandi is hanging upside down in one of the therapy contraptions during this conversation... and ignoring Chuck's calls? What an attention whore. Raph tells her to get over herself and talk to Chuck. The girl that answered Chuck's phone could have been an innocent friend. Just like they hang out, and Raph insists they'd never have sex. Brandi says, "That's because you're the gayest man on the planet." OK, that was funny.
In the WITSEC room, Mary drops the bomb that the Doc will not be able to practice medicine anymore. He throws a glass across the room and looks like he wants to murder poor Iris, who is beyond consolation. Outside, Marshall tries to calm him down by saying that it's a choice to make it or bomb out in the program. Doc says he can't get past the rage he feels at Iris for putting them in this situation. He can't even look at her. Wow! Parent of the year award goes to... not you Doc Snooty-Pants!
The girls are off to school, and Iris tries to hug her dad, who half-ass returns the gesture. Mary tells Iris that he can't stay mad forever, but Iris says, "You don't know my daddy." Poor thing. Mary takes the girls to school and pretends to be their aunt, which she's pulls off hilariously well. Marshall gets the Doc in as a volunteer doctor at a free clinic. Doc Snooty-Pants doesn't seem very grateful. Marshall lays the smack down on him and his snooty pants. I heart Marshall even more.
After school, Iris is nowhere to be find. Of course, the little wanker has tried to find out if Lawrence is OK by using a pay phone to call the hospital. Mary yanks her away and yells at her for putting them all in danger. Hello, Iris, you're smart. Caller I.D.!!!
Mary tells the family that the shooter has been arrested, and Iris will have to fly to L.A. to I.D. him. They look really worried, but Mary insists she'll be able to protect Iris better without her parents around. Plus, I think Mary hates the dad. Heh.
In the lineup room, Iris needs no time to identify the shooter, and he threatens her with a "You're dead, bitch." Why are gang members in scripts so un-creative in their threats? Iris comes back at the double mirror with the same threat. Go girl.
In the car, Mary asks Iris why she was in the bad neighborhood. Iris says they went to see someone but doesn't want to talk about it. Mary has a surprise for her: She takes her to see Lawrence who is doing well after surgery. She apologizes to him, and he says she didn't do anything wrong. Iris admits she's worried she can't tough it out in the program, but puppy love says Iris is the strongest girl he knows - his hero. AW! Love them! Even Mary smiles as she says to herself, "Only a 17-year-old could get away with that kind of crap." Ha!
Upon returning to the apartment, Iris is feeling a lot better about her prospects in the program. Uh-oh, now you know something bad is gonna happen. Inside, Denise tells M&M that Doc Snooty-Pants has been job hunting all day - at eight other clinics. This makes Marshall furious, as he told Doc that he could only practice at that one clinic. He gets a call and leaves.
Marshall arrives at the bar that Brandi works at (what a coincidence), and Doc Snooty-Pants is plastered and getting belligerent. Marshall hauls him outside and yells at him for having a bad attitude, and demanding respect without commanding any. He says no wonder Iris doesn't listen to him. It's awesome.
Mary arrives at Raph's with flowers and food, and after he checks to make sure the four horseman of the apocalypse aren't outside (hee), they have a cozy evening. They start to make out, and then Brandi pops in to ruin the vibe. After a bunch of nonsense about Mary not knowing anything about Brandi, and Raph knowing more than he should, Mary takes off. 'Atta girl - way to keep that emotional growth a float!
At the McBride's, Iris overhears mom and dad discussing their future. Dad wants to cut off Iris when she turns 18 so he can get his life back. Mom, and I now love her, tells him that there's no way in hell she'll choose between him and her kids. This guy is the more unlikeable than the bad guys on
Law & Order!
The next morning, Iris has disappeared, and Doc Snooty-Pants says it's just another one of her self-centered stunts. Finally, Lily explodes (I've been waiting for her to chime in... something tells me she's got more to do with this than we thought). She tells her dad to stop blaming Iris for everything, because he has no clue what's going on. Mary tells him off as well, but then goes after Lily. Lily says the whole incident was all her fault because she was down seeing a boy from school, and Iris had come to get her. She was protecting her and promised Iris she wouldn't tell because she didn't want the a-hole father to hate both his daughters. Wow... that's just awful. Dad finally starts to get what a douche bag he really is.
They find Iris on a bus and she tells Mary what her father said the night before. Mary says that it totally sucks, but that she has too much to lose by leaving the program. Doc gets on the bus and tries to apologize but Iris is not having much of it. Finally, he tells her that he failed her and should have been the one to protect her. It's a much longer and emotional speech, but you get the drift. She accepts the apology and forgives her a-hole dad.
Mary goes to Raph's and gives him an "I apologize" hug, Brandi dumps her bag o' coke over the side of a bridge into a river. Ah, never has littering a huge bag of dangerous narcotics felt so cleansing! And M&M bring the white door with the height measurements to the McBride's new home. Aw.
So, what did you think of this episode? Do you like the story being more about the witnesses, or more about the Marshals?
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Hey guys, my finger is still on the mend. And things are crazy around here because everyone is flying out to L.A. to cover the Television Critics Association press tour and then I'm off to cover Comic-Con. So be patient with us and the recap posting. We're doing the best we can!We begin with two kids (African American kids) walking after school in South Central. The girl says her dad will be mad that the boy dragged her down to a bad part of town. But, they're having fun and clearly in major puppy love. Of course, a car rolls up with Latino gang members who starts harassing the girl about the junk in her trunk. The harasser tells the two kids they're in the wrong hood, and then puppy love boy has to go and open his mouth: "At least I'm in the right country." Oh no he didn't! Out comes the Uzi machine gun and blows puppy love away. Noooooooo!!! Bastards.Cut to Iris McBride's WITSEC ID card: Now Iris Morris.Mary and Marshall ride along bickering about using the term flight attendant v...