Hello, my friends. I'm back to recap episode four! Episode three has been recapped and is posted below if you need to catch up.
We start at some weird sculpture in the desert. A man meets (the fabulous) guest star
Dave Foley to discuss offing someone in exchange for money. Dave's got a ton of medical issues for a hitman including diabetes and asthma. But I guess that never stopped a con man assassin before! Actually, it seems as thought Dave's just kinda the middleman - meaning he doesn't do the killing - someone named "Lola" does. Dave takes the money from the man who turns out to be an FBI agent. Busted!
Cut to: His WITSEC ID, which is "Pending."
Mary walks into the office with a bunch of fancy coffee drinks, and Marshall immediately asks, "Who died?" Hee. He insists she's not a "treater"; so she promptly asks him for $3.50. Stan calls them in for a meeting, so Mary tells Marshall to collect four bucks for his coffee. She then spots a letter to Marshall from a security agency, and isn't remotely subtle when she tears into it to read that he's been offered a job in the private security sector. Oh that is
not going to go over well. I wonder how many ways Mary will torture Marshall until he admits his disloyalty.
With Stan, we find out that Foley plays Horst Van der Hoff, who is a high price contract killer for someone named Lola. Apparently Lola has been a busy little killer bee and has two dozen bodies to her credit, including two judges. Until now, no one has been able to I.D. her, so that's why Horst is being placed in the program. Guess Horst is actually from New York, but got popped five miles from the prison where the target was located in Perryville. So, he's waiting in the Perryville prison for the Marshals to pick him up. A man was killed in that prison last night, which was unrelated, but even so, Stan says security is tight on this case.
On the road, Mary ignores Marshall by blasting her iPod and giving him zero eye contact. Once at the prison, he finally tells Mary that it's clear she wants him to figure out why she's pissed at him, but homey don't play that (sorry, channeling '90s TV for a sec). She refuses to look at him and says, "Don't worry about it, in a couple of months we won't even be working together." Marshall gets an "Oh crap, she knows" look on his face. He's shocked that she read his mail, but she acts like it's totally normal. Heh. Horst comes out and says, "Oh great, two more minimum wage monkeys to protect me. Do the feds want to get me killed? Do you have any idea who Lola is?" Mary and Marshall ignore the smart ass witness and keep bantering about the opened letter. Mary says, "Were you ever going to tell me or were you gonna let me figure it out when you stopped showing up for work." Marshall counters with, "Actually I was going to write a letter and mail it to myself, that way I'd be sure you'd get the news." Ha!
And now, we're back with the "Jinx and Brandi Show of Annoyingness." Jinx is headed off to her imaginary job (remember the dog ate her makeup) while Brandi lounges in bed.
Marshall and Mary transport Horst who tells them he has to go to the bathroom. Mary tells him to hold it or hang it out the window because they're not stopping. Heh. But, she relents and they pull over at a gas station. Marshall takes Horst to the bathroom and he starts ripping on Mary for being mean, aggressive and toxic... and then she walks up to catch the rest of Horst's tirade. Marshall smirks and walks away. A couple pulls up and the woman drops her water bottle under the Marshals' SUV. The hubby picks it up, but there's something off about these two. Marshall looks under the car, but it looks clear. Horst is done with the potty and, thinking Marshall is there, asks for help with his zipper - and there's Mary! He looks at her and says perfectly, "Isn't this awkward."
On the road, Marshall insists that he was going to tell Mary, who of course, doesn't believe him. She tries to call Stan, but there's no cell signal in this area (Marshall says it's due to the iron in the mountains messing with cell reception), and the check engine light has just gone on. There's a sign that says last food and gas for 90 miles. This doesn't look good at all... especially now that the hood is smoking profusely.
Brandi is out for a walk to get a drink and spots her mom playing hookie at the same bar, surrounded by men giving her free booze. She calls Jinx on her cell, who pretends to be hard at work. So, Brandi guilts her with the, "I'm so proud of you speech," before she grabs a glass of white wine right out of her hand. These two are such a pain in the ass.
Back at the smoking car, Marshall gets out to see what the problem is he quickly sees that something has eaten away at the undercarriage and fluid is leaking like crazy. A Mercedes pulls up - wait a minute - that's the couple from the gas station. This is bad! Marshall comes out from the car and is shot by the bad guys in the shoulder/chest area. Mary looks panicked but gets it together enough to get Horst and herself to lay down in the car to avoid the spray of bullets. At one point, as Mary tries to reload, the action slows down. It looks as though Mary could be toast, but Marshall, like a phoenix, rises from the ground and shoots one of the bad guys. They both go all John Woo on the bad guys' asses, until they retreat, and Marshall passes out.
Mary tells Marshall he's been shot, and he says flatly, "Oh crap." He tells Mary about the couple from the gas station and that they probably sabotaged the car with acid. Horst tells them to not worry about "the guy they should be protecting!" Oh shut up, Horst. Mary agrees with me. Mary tries to get the car going, but it can't even make it to the gas station (which is abandoned. God, I hate false advertising). Marshall tells her to get the radiator hose because they'll need it. I love how Marshall is a walking encyclopedia for every subject: Iron content in the hills, the mambo, chest wounds...
Back at the bar (really? I'm kinda over this storyline), Jinx tells Brandi that the eye-patch guy's dog ate her samples. Brandi actually believes Jinx and says she's screwed. Jinx says maybe she should just be honest, and Brandi balks. If she tells Mary, she'll get kicked out and Brandi is not gonna take Jinx in. No way! They agree to not tell Mary.
Back in the steaming hot desert, Mary helps Marshall walk as they force Horst to carry all their equipment. Heh. She asks if that was Lola, and he says, "What do you think, genius." Oh, come on, Horst, you know better than to say stuff like that to an "aggressive and toxic" woman! She throws him on the ground and roughs him up a bit. He says he's not sure if it was Lola since they've never met. They only do their business over the phone. Marshall says that those guys will be back for Horst sooner than later and adds, "Dun, dun, duuuun!" So awesome. I heart Marshall. Off to the abandoned garage they go.
Brandi tells Jinx to stop crying and figure out a plan. Jinx says she's maxed out all her credit cards, so Brandi offers a passerby the chance to sleep with her mom. Ah, nothing says daughterly love like trying to whore out your mom for money. I'm a little choked up over it. She tells Jinx to think outside the box (which sounds dirty given their conversation), but Brandi is talking about some "memory box." This should be interesting (or just annoying).
In the gas station, Mary cuffs Horst to a pole and Marshall tells Mary he has a tension pneumothorax (a collapsed lung). She gives him mouth to mouth and then tells her to use the hose to inflate his lung by sticking it in the bullet wound. I just got queasy writing that. But it works, and he can breathe. Yay! Marshall tells her to stick the other end of tube into a bottle of water to create an air water seal. Told ya... encyclopedia.
Jinx and Brandi take her "memory box" (which is a jewelry box that she thinks is full of expensive pieces that are keepsakes from her past relationships) to a pawn shop. She's very upset at parting with them, until the pawn shop guys says they're fake. Poor Jinx is crestfallen. She thought those men really cared. I'm rolling my eyes.
Marshall tells Mary to leave on foot to get help but there's a change of plans when the bad guys show up again. They seem to have a tracking device that points right to the gas station. They know exactly where Horst and Co. are hiding. Not cool. Mary decides she'll draw fire and then Marshall can join in. But, it looks like the bad guys are just sitting and waiting until it gets dark. Mary finally asks Marshall why he didn't tell her about the new job. He says he needed to make up his own mind, since she's not the easiest person to talk about that kind of stuff with. Let's face it, she's a big ol' bully. She can't believe she's the reason he wants to leave. He says it's not about her. She counters with, "I can't believe I'm getting the 'it's not you, it's me,' speech from you!" Shut up, Mary and listen to your friend! He tells her that she's his best friend; his only friend. But, she's like working with an exotic animal. He either has to protect her from the world or vice versa. It's a big responsibility. She apologizes but tells him that's his job. She smooches his cheek and tells him he can't quit. He says, "OK." It's a really sweet moment. Uh oh! Marshall's water bottle has blood in it. Mary gets her guns and ammo to do some recon outside. She notices that the SUV only has bullet holes in the front and not where Horst was sitting. That bastard!
Jinx is drunk-crying which is the worst crying. She's feeling sorry for herself but then she and Brandi realize they'd be lost without Mary's generosity. They toast to Mary, their savior. Jinx decides she can't be a freeloader anymore and needs to let go of her past. She gives away her crappy jewels and asks Joe for a job at the bar. Well that should have been the obvious choice of employment for years now!
Mary grabs Horst and exposes him for the lying a-hole that he is. His diabetes meter is actually a GPS device. She tells him that she's on to his plan to have his friends bust him out. That he knew he would get busted out by his friends even before he was put in jail. Horst tells her she's crazy and that makes and that makes no sense. Unless, he's a Kinks fan! Horst says she's cuckoo, but she sings the Kinks'song "Lola." Horst is Lola! That rat bastard has been playing a game this whole time. Mary has figured out that he got arrested so he could hit the man who was killed in prison, knowing he would be placed into witness protection, and then use the tracking device to have his peeps bust him out. Of course he denies it, but we know Mary is right. She takes Horst outside at gunpoint and trades him for a working car. Horst and Co. are arrested by a road block as "Lola" plays over the scene. Marshall is carried out to the car and Mary speeds off. At the hospital, Mary finally allows herself to break down over her badly wounded friend. She's really scared he won't make it. Jinx and Brandi meet her at the hospital and comfort a sobbing Mary. Aww.
What did you think of the Marshall/Mary moments tonight? Do you think it was really in Mary's character to break down so completely at the end?
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Hello, my friends. I'm back to recap episode four! Episode three has been recapped and is posted below if you need to catch up.We start at some weird sculpture in the desert. A man meets (the fabulous) guest star Dave Foley to discuss offing someone in exchange for money. Dave's got a ton of medical issues for a hitman including diabetes and asthma. But I guess that never stopped a con man assassin before! Actually, it seems as thought Dave's just kinda the middleman — meaning he doesn't do the killing — someone named "Lola" does. Dave takes the money from the man who turns out to be an FBI agent. Busted!Cut to: His WITSEC ID, which is "Pending." Mary walks into the office with a bunch of fancy coffee drinks, and Marshall immediately asks, "Who died?" Hee. He insists she's not a "treater"; so she promptly asks him for $3.50. Stan calls them in for a meeting, so Mary tells Marshall to collect four bucks for his coffee. She then spots a letter to Marshall from a security a...