Another DAYS OF OUR LIVES actor is moving to a new two-bedroom apartment and encourages Joey to take over his place. Chandler is stunned when Joey explains that he wants to move out on his own, now that he's 28 and making good money. They play a game of foosball to decide who gets to keep the table they bought together and Joey wins, but decides to leave it for Chandler anyway. Meanwhile, the Gellers have a party for Jack's birthday to which they invite Ross and Monica ... and (their friend) Dr. Burke, who is rumored to have a 'twinkie' in the city. (The men at the party want to hear graphic details, especially Mr. Geller!) Dr. Burke (also known as Richard) and Monica eventually confess that Monica is the 'twinkie.' And Rachel and Phoebe are going to get tattooed; then Ross says he thinks tattoos are gross, which prompts Rachel to re-think it. Phoebe persuades her not to let 'Ross be the boss,' then Phoebe herself chickens out. Luckily, Ross is surprised to find that he thinks Rachel's tattoo is really sexy.
Joey and Chandler miss each other terribly but Chandler gets a new roommate, Eddie, after Ross and Rachel encourage him to 'move on.' Joey decides to ask Chandler if he can move back in but learns that Eddie has replaced him. And a producer has Phoebe record her 'Smelly Cat' song and make a video, but when Phoebe plays it for the gang, they realize it's clearly not Phoebe's voice. When Phoebe eventually figures this out, she feels sorry for the woman who sang because she doesn't get to have a video and Phoebe does. Meanwhile, Ross spends so much time at Rachel's, that he and Monica slip into their childhood bickering.
Rachel and Ross have their first date, at the end of which (during the kissing part) Rachel starts giggling. The next day she promises to make it up to Ross with a romantic dinner. But he gets called to the museum and has to work late and instead of disappointing Rachel, they have a picnic under the stars in the Planetarium, where they eventually get around to ... you know. Meanwhile, Monica caters a party for Dr. Burke, an ophthalmologist friend of the Geller's, and the two really hit it off. They struggle a bit with the difference in their ages but decide to throw caution to the wind. And Joey's DAYS OF OUR LIVES contract gets picked up so he buys a big TV and some recliners for the apartment and he and Chandler never get out of them.
Ross and Julie announce they are getting a cat -- together. That night, Rachel gets drunk on a date and all she talks about is Ross. She decides to get 'closure' by calling him and telling his machine she is 'over him.' This is how he finds out she isn't over him, and he is now faced with the agonizing task of having to choose between her and Julie. Meanwhile, Chandler has put on some weight so the currently unemployed Monica helps him work out -- every single day. And Phoebe's irked because the guy she's been dating won't sleep with her.
Monica's upset that Ben doesn't like her because he always cries when she holds him. Then Ross has an allergic reaction to a kiwi pie Monica baked and she rushes him to the hospital. They leave Ben with Chandler and Joey, who use the baby to 'pick up' some women on a bus. The guys get off with the women to have a drink and leave the baby on the bus!!!! When they go to the Transit Authority, they find two lost babies and can't tell which is Ben. They flip a coin and hope for the best. Back at the apartment, they are relieved when Monica picks the baby up and he starts crying. Meanwhile, Terry, the manager of Central Perk, hires a professional musician to play on Sunday afternoons. When Phoebe realizes she is the only one not being paid, she quits and starts playing outside with her guitar case open. She makes a little money but, at the end of the day, she realizes it's more important for her just to play for herself -- so she goes back to playing in the coffee house for free.
Ross comes back from China with his new girlfriend, Julie, and Rachel has a really hard time dealing with it. She winds up sleeping with Paolo and hates herself for it. Joey persuades her to tell Ross how she feels, but when Ross tells her how in love he is with Julie, she can't bring herself to do it. Meanwhile, Phoebe has done such a great job cutting Chandler and Joey's hair that Monica begs her to cut hers. Phoebe is hesitant at first (because of Monica's 'control' thing) but finally concedes; then gets confused and gives Monica a Dudley Moore haircut instead of the Demi Moore cut she requested. And Chandler goes to Joey's tailor for some alterations and gets 'fondled;' it dawns on Joey he's been 'fondled' by his tailor all these years.
Rachel's job prevents her from celebrating her anniversary with Ross. Wanting more time to focus on her new job, she suggests the two take a break from their relationship. Joey and Chandler take Ross out to cheer him up. Convinced that Rachel has dumped him for a co-worker, Ross hooks up with a woman from the copy shop that Joey and Chandler have been after. Phoebe dates a diplomat who speaks no English. She convinces Monica to go out with them so the translator will have a date. When Monica and the translator hit it off Phoebe's chemistry with the diplomat comes to a halt because the two are unable to communicate.
Ross and Rachel have a new nanny (Molly), who is hot. Ross tells Joey not to go after her, which just makes him want her more. Mike discovers that Phoebe has a rat in her apartment, which she treats as a pet (or rather, as an occasional visitor for whom she puts out food). Then they discover that the rat has had babies. Mike mistakenly kills the rat, and Phoebe feels they are responsible to raise the orphans. Rachel continues to fight with her co-worker, Gavin; Monica invites him to Rachel's birthday party. Gavin comes over at the end of the party and makes a move on Rachel; they kiss. Ross is upset when he sees them his apartment, as he's cleaning up after the baby. Molly turns out to be gay.
Ross shows the gang his joke that was published in Playboy magazine. When Chandler reads it, he claims the joke is his and Ross stole it from him. Since Playboy does not print the submitter's name, Chandler and Ross continue to fight over the joke, each claiming that they are the real author. Ross and Chandler leave it up to Monica to decide who wrote the joke by hearing each of their sides. When Monica tells them she doesn't understand why either of the would want credit for writing such a horrible joke, they begin to argue that the other wrote it. Joey has become increasingly strapped for cash since Janice moved out. Gunther offers him a job at the coffeehouse, but Joey is reluctant to take it because he would have to wait on his friends. He ultimately takes the job and attempts to hide it from the group. Meanwhile, the girls discuss which one they would want to date out of the three. Phoebe makes the mistake of picking Rachel because Monica is high maintenance and Rachel is more of a pushover. They take offense and try to get Phoebe back by calling her flaky.
In an act of desperation, Rachel hastily throws together a going away party for Emily as an excuse to invite Joshua over. Even though Ross has a romantic evening planned for his last night with her, Emily enjoys the party and doesn't want to leave. Rachel spends the evening persuading Joshua to stay by performing one humiliating stunt after the other. When Rachel confesses to Joshua that she's only trying to seduce him he reveals that the feeling is mutual ... except for the fact that he's just getting over a divorce and it's too soon for him start dating again. When Joshua leaves, Rachel sulks to Ross who is also disappointed - his big night with Emily was ruined. Rachel reminds Ross that the night is still young. Just then, Joshua reappears and Rachel invites him in for coffee and... Meanwhile, Phoebe is convinced that the baby needs meat because all other foods are making her nauseous. When she can no longer resist the temptation, Phoebe makes a deal with Joey if he abstains from eating meat for the rest of her pregnancy, than Phoebe can cat his meat and it won't be so wrong.
Ross has to make an emergency trip to China for the museum, but before he goes, he leaves Rachel's birthday present with Chandler. When she is overwhelmed by it, Chandler lets it slip that when Ross fell in love with Carol, he bought her something extravagant, too, and voila, Rachel finds out how Ross feels about her. Still uncertain how she feels about him, she tries to catch Ross at the airport, but arrives after he has boarded the plane. She tries to get a message to him, but unbeknownst to Rachel, it gets delivered to the wrong guy. Then, Rachel starts to wonder if getting together with Ross is such a great idea after all. On one hand, Ross really is 'a great guy,' but on the other hand, what would things be like if they broke up? She finally decides to go for it and goes to the airport to meet Ross when he returns from China. But he gets off the plane with his new girlfriend, Julie. Meanwhile, Joey is participating in a fertility study which cramps his style with his new woman until he learns that he can simply 'be there for her.'
Monica reveals to Rachel that she has not lost her virginity and decides that her boyfriend, Dr. Roger is going to be 'the one'. She prepares a special dinner for him, with plenty of 'sensual' dishes, but their evening is cut short when Roger is paged by the hospital. Disappointed, Monica turns to her friend, Chandler for support. She realizes that she is much more comfortable with Chandler than Dr. Roger. Things become romantic between Monica and Chandler and they decide to sleep together. The next night, Monica has Dr. Roger over to the apartment and plans to sleep with him. Jealous because Monica is going to be with another man, Chandler gets rid of Dr. Roger by calling in a fake page from the hospital. Chandler and Monica realize that they want to be together. After almost having an affair with Joey, Rachel catches Barry in bed with another woman and leaves him. Phoebe learns that she has lost her job at Merrill Lynch and chooses a less stressful career, playing the guitar.
Joey is auditioning for a play and need to speak French, so he enlists Phoebe to teach him. She tries, but he just can't get it. Rachel's father has a heart attack; accompanied by Ross, she goes home to Long Island to visit him. In her vulnerable state, she asks Ross to spend the night and makes her desires very clear. He doesn't want to take advantage of her, so he leaves. Rachel is angry. Erica (the mother of Monica and Chandler's future child) comes to New York for a visit. They ask about the child's father, and find out she's not sure whether the father is the all american football player, or the convicted murderer who killed his father with a shovel. Joey thinks he can drink a gallon of milk in ten seconds.
Ross has slept with Cloe, the woman from the copy shop. He wakes up and hears a message Rachel left for him on his answering machine. Rachel says she wants to make up and is coming over in the morning to make up, forcing Ross to hide Cloe from Rachel. Joey and Chandler then tell Ross about 'the trail.' The trail of people linking Cloe to Rachel. Ross frantically chases the trail, trying to hide his night with Cloe from Rachel but he's too late. Gunther has told Rachel. The two spend the night arguing in Monica and Rachel's apartment while the rest of the friends are trapped in Monica's room--they're too afraid to go in the living room while Ross and Rachel are fighting. Monica and Phoebe have ordered a body wax product they've seen on an infomercial that promised pain-free hair removal. The product causes incredible pain, however, and they put some on Joey's arm when he doesn't believe them. Rachel decides that she and Ross need to break up.
Chandler gets an internship in advertising. At first his age seems to be a problem, relative to all the young college kids. But his age and experience gives him a perspective that serves him well, even in marketing products to teenagers. Joey gets a audition for a broadway play; at first he's terrible, but later (when he really needs to go to the bathroom) his nervous energy impresses the producers and star, and he gets the part. Phoebe and Ross get mugged, but it turns out Phoebe knows the mugger from her days on the streets, when she occassionally mugged people, too. This reminds Ross of the time he was mugged as a child; Phoebe realizes she was the one who mugged him all those years ago. He's very upset about it, until she returns his childhood home-made comic book, 'Science Boy.'
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