We're finally here, folks! It's the two-hour season finale of Desperate Housewives, which is technically two self-contained, one-hour episodes — so I've recapped them separately. Bree and Orson's divorce battle heats up fo' realz, with Karl on the scene stoking the fire with devilish glee. Gaby and Carlos inherit an unruly teenager. Lynette receives some life-changing news from the doctor, just as Tom's midlife crisis pops up again. Plus, Lily Tomlin is back to help the idiot cops connect the dots of Dave Williams' murderous plan for revenge, which finally kicks into gear. Its resolution is somewhat surprising, in that its aftermath prompts further revelations that set up interesting developments for Season 6. Read on to find out how it all went down...
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Mary Alice tells us that Sunday's episode of Desperate Housewives is about masks, and the way that the residents of Wisteria Lane use them to deceive their friends and loved ones. You must look closely to find the truth, she says. Bree and Karl scheme and plot a secret divorce strategy together. Susan and Jackson decide not to tell anyone that their marriage is an immigration-mandated sham, which leads to some tension between Mike and Katherine when their reactions to the impending nuptials reveal deeper truths. Tom wants to change his literal mask — his face — to make himself a more desirable job candidate. Gaby has a run-in with a former neighbor that has her questioning the superficial trappings of her newly reclaimed wealth. And Dave's never-ending, insidious plan changes twice during this hour, but who can really keep track?
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Bargaining is the theme this week, Mary Alice says, but it's a tenuous one. Bree makes a deal with the devil, Katherine uses manipulation (and M.J.) to force the marriage issue with Mike, Tom and Lynette negotiate their sex life, Susan agrees to help Jackson, Gaby teaches her daughter a valuable lesson and Dave takes a new tack in his mission to murder Mike and/or Susan and/or Katherine and/or M.J. It's been going on for so long it's kind of hard to keep track.
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Hey, Mary Alice! What's Sunday's episode of Desperate Housewives about? "Everyone has something they want to keep hidden," she says. Orson is hiding his role in Edie's death. Lynette and Tom are hiding their respective perceptions of infidelity. And Dave is still hiding his true intentions when it comes to Mike, Katherine, Susan and now... M.J.? Read the full recap after the jump.
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In the aftermath of Edie's shocking (Get it? Get it?!) death, the ladies of Wisteria Lane take a road trip to break the unfortunate news to her absent son, Travers. Along the way, each Housewife flashes back to a moment when Edie revealed herself to be a true friend, a complicated woman with her own tragedies, insecurities and vulnerabilities. In the end, they scatter Edie's ashes with few words but much sentiment.
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Sunday's episode of Desperate Housewives is full of nasty shocks, according to Mary Alice. Susan has an unwelcome visitor at school. Bree surprises herself by making a life-defining choice of her career over her marriage. Carlos' new job has unexpected consequences for both Lynette and Gaby. Edie learns the truth about Yellow Satan. And Katherine's shock comes via Dave's shotgun.
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This week on Desperate Housewives, Susan's boss taught her a lezzin', Lynette "went to work" for Gaby, Bree did her best to cover Orson's tracks, and Edie dug up some (but not quite enough) dirt on Dave. I'm Matt Mitovich, your guestcapper.
Will Susan Be Jessie's Girl?
Susan's making a go of it in her job as an art teacher's assistant at MJ's private school, trying to be "creative" in her lesson plans. Alas, her boss (guest star Swoosie Kurtz) is not impressed by her "crayons-on" approach. Parents spend $22K to send their kids here, Jessie explains, so the kids need to come home with "adorable" things ...
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Sunday's episode of Desperate Housewives involves various people dealing with their new life situations, with various degrees of success: Susan is (still!) trying to get over her ex. Tom and Lynette are mourning the loss of their restaurant and seeking new means of employment. Gaby is trying to extricate herself from an extortion plot without giving up the new lifestyle to which she has become quickly again accustomed. Sad Orson, ever the ex-con, is dealing with his new station in life with an odd new behavior. Plus, Yellow Satan is under pressure to put Operation Kill People into effect, so that he may move on... to the afterlife?
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Susan starts a job to provide for MJ---and becomes both angry and jealous when Mike lets Katherine babysit him; Lynette wants Tom to sell the recession-wracked pizzeria; Carlos gets a big bonus after Gaby discovers his boss's dirty little secret; Bree gives Andrew a raise, raising Orson's hackles; and Dave grows tired of the neighbors' suspicions of him.
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Bree buys a new car while Lynette and Tom resolve to sell his Mustang for extra cash; Susan is determined to send MJ to a school she and Mike can't afford; Gaby joins Edie's "boot camp" to get back into shape; and Lee wrestles with telling Lynette and Tom some disturbing facts about Dave.
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When neighborhood handyman Eli Scruggs (Beau Bridges) dies, the housewives realize just how much he affected their lives. Gaby recalls how Eli helped her make friends when she arrived; Lynette remembers how he came to her aid when she was overwhelmed and neglecting Penny; Susan reflects on how he lent her his shoulder to cry on each time a man walked out on her; Edie looks back on their special friendship; and Bree thinks fondly of his small gesture that had a big effect.
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It's been nearly a month since the last new episode of Desperate Housewives. To refresh your memory about our last visit to Wisteria Lane, read my recap of the Dec. 9 episode here. Then read on to find out whose "Home Is the Place."
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Bree clashes with Alex's mother (Joanna Cassidy) for their sons' affections; Gaby urges Carlos to take a six-figure job, even though it means spending more time away from home; Susan turns to Lee for company while Jackson is away; Lynette catches Preston talking to Porter on the phone; and Edie grows weary of Dave, whose strange behavior hasn't abated.
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It's an awful thing to live in the dark, says Mary Alice. Our Wisteria Lane ladies all got their own version of enlightenment on Sunday's Desperate Housewives. But will the light at the end of the tunnel be enough to sustain us over the monthlong Christmas hiatus? Read on to see how things ended up...
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So now that the Battle of the Bands is nothing but a smoldering pile of desperate screenwriting, it's time for some recovery on Wisteria Lane, says Mary Alice. There's a murder mystery in the offing. And there are several Desperate Husbands who are on the mend. How will Desperate Housewives recover? Read on to find out...
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Julie Mayer returns with a surprise; Gaby and Mrs. Hildebrand arrive at a fragile truce; a reporter with a well-honed hatchet arrives in Fairview to write a profile of Bree; Lynette learns about Porter and Anne Schilling (Gail O'Grady); Dave keeps trying to avoid Dr. Heller; and a fire breaks out at the club where the Wisteria Lane garage band is competing in a battle of the bands. Tokyo Police Club appear as a band called Cold Splash. Roberta: Lily Tomlin. Lloyd: Steven Weber.
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Lynette and Tom learn an unsettling truth about Porter; Gaby suspects that Carlos' top client has ulterior motives; Mrs. McCluskey's sister (Lily Tomlin) unearths a disturbing fact about Dave; Bree's moment of weakness could bring her great embarrassment; Katherine's not-so-little secret is revealed; and Susan learns of Jackson's true passion.
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Lynette suspects that Tom is having an affair; Susan tries to surprise Jackson; Mrs. McCluskey enlists her sister (Lily Tomlin) to dig up dirt on Dave; one of Carlos' clients makes him an offer; and the bond grows between Bree and Katherine.
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Dave persuades Susan to throw a 70th-birthday party for Mrs. McCluskey, but his motives aren't entirely altruistic and Mrs. McCluskey isn't overjoyed; Jackson wants to ramp things up with Susan; Gaby fears she might be pregnant again; and Tom tells Lynette that he has sold the pizzeria. Meanwhile, events of the past five years come more clearly into focus. Among them: how the bond between Bree and Katherine developed.
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Bree's success evokes jealousy on Wisteria Lane; Lynette, who misses using her business expertise, offers Bree unsolicited marketing advice; Mike feels as though he's not a part of MJ's life while Susan teaches their reluctant young son how to fall; and Gaby wants Carlos to be more amorous. Meanwhile, Dave's real reason for moving to Wisteria Lane begins to come into focus.
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Danielle Van De Kamp is met with criticism when she returns to Wisteria Lane; Gaby and Susan get in a catfight following an altercation between their kids; Tom and Dave form a garage band after Lynette told Tom to get rid of his old things; and Katherine and Mrs. McCluskey invite Edie to lunch to press her for more information on Dave.
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Gaby tries to salvage what's left of her social stature; Lynette discovers Porter's softer side; the men in Susan's life meet; Bree must juggle marriage and career; Edie once again sees just how hostile Wisteria Lane residents can be; and Mrs. McCluskey enlists Katherine's help in digging up info on new neighbor Dave (Neal McDonough). Karl Meyer: Richard Burgi.
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It's five years later as the fifth-season opens, and Susan is trying to hide her relationship with a new man. Meanwhile, Gaby questions her maternal skills; Bree is about to publish a cookbook as her business partner, Katherine, bristles; Lynette catches her teenage twins (Charlie and Max Carver) spearheading illegal activities; and Edie returns to Wisteria Lane with a new man in tow.
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