On Sunday's episode of Desperate Housewives, Bree came to an increasingly irrational Katherine's aid when it became clear that she's still not over Mike. John Rowland (guest star Jesse Metcalfe) cozied up to Ana, but not for the reason that you might think. Lynette adjusted to some of the physical effects of her pregnancy. Angie threw a party for Danny. And we learned more about Julie's secrets — including the identity of her married lover.
KATHERINE and BREE
Katherine is totally losing her grip, which is probably good news for Dana Delany (fun acting!) and bad news for the character (illogical story!). She tells Bree that she's still in love with Mike, and she's still got the same crazy eyes she showed Orson. She repeats that she's just waiting for Susan and Mike's marriage to crash and burn. Bree is concerned, but she has some hot hotel sex with Karl waiting, so she shrugs it off.
But when Bree catches Katherine peeping in Susan and Mike's windows that night, she decides to put her on sick leave for three weeks to get some help. "I'm not sick," Katherine protests. "Yes, you are," Bree responds firmly, and there's no room for discussion.
Then Katherine shows up at a last-minute wedding that she and Bree were planning, and she's pretty pitiful. She says her friendship with Bree is just about the only thing she hasn't lost in the last few weeks, so she is going to make an effort to snap out of it. But then she sees the cake, which Bree made for the happy couple from a design of Katherine's she found lying around. But — oops! — it's the cake that Katherine designed for her wedding to Mike. "I watched another bride marry my fiancé; I am not going to watch another bride eat my cake," she says with excellent crazy eyes, and lunges for the cake. A scuffle ensues, and it ends with a crash.
The next day, Katherine pretends like nothing has happened. Bree sees no choice but to fire her. Katherine sees this as a betrayal, and when Bree asks her for her keys to the test kitchen, Katherine drags them across Bree's car before relinquishing them. "You wouldn't know to look at it, but the lady next door is having a nervous breakdown," Mary Alice says in voiceover.
Now that Lynette is pregs, "the Supremes" are back — which is what Tom calls her enlarged breasts. Her coworkers also notice lasciviously and assume she's had plastic surgery. Carlos tells Lynette that he knows about her little secret. "You know about the twins?" she asks. Heh. Once Lynette catches on that he's talking about her breasts, she declines to set him straight, relieved that he doesn't know that she's pregnant.
I thought this story line might take a sexist turn, and indeed it does. Carlos tells Lynette that their new prospective clients think she has a nice rack, so can she maybe, you know, show off the girls a little over dinner? Lynette, naturally, is offended, but again, in order to conceal the truth, she goes along with it. Carlos even offers to buy her a new dress on the company. "A man just gave me a credit card because of my boobs. That makes me feel less like a hooker," she observes drily.
And it gets worse. When she shows up to dinner in a knockout blue dress, she thinks she might keep her jacket on since it's cold. "It's not cold, and even if it was, even more reason you should take the jacket off," Carlos says to his employee.
Fortunately, Lynette embraces the power of her new look. She likes the attention she got at the restaurant and she closed the deal. At home, she questions Tom about why men like big breasts, and why then did he marry her? He says that even though he likes big breasts, he's glad she doesn't (normally) have them. Because he needs her to have that one flaw, so it's OK that he has so many. Aw?
After a particularly tough day taking care of her "demon-spawn children," the cherry on the sundae of her day is the sight of John giving Ana a ride home. This story line is strange and funny material for Eva Longoria to play, part protective mother and part jealous lover. But for now, she's nailing it.
Speaking of nailing, Juanita and Celia find a box of condoms under Ana's bed. Gaby naturally assumes that she's sleeping with John, but she's not... yet. She tells Gaby that she loves him, and since Gaby can't tell her the truth, she hauls out the old "you're too young" speech.
Then she goes to see John in hopes of convincing him to stay away from Ana. He says he was just flirting with Ana to see if Gaby still cared, and he thinks that her actions demonstrate that she does. Now that he has money and is an adult, he wants to rescue Gaby from her humdrum suburban life. He seals his offer with a kiss, just in time for Ana to walk in and catch them. Uh-oh.
Ana threatens to tell Carlos, so Gaby has no choice but to tell her the truth about her history with John. It turns out that Ana also caught Gaby gazing longingly at those pictures she hid in her scrapbook. But rather than make up some story, Gaby tells the truth (I know, weird): She says that sometimes, particularly after a bad day, she looks at those pictures and thinks about what could have been, but that she loves Carlos and their life together and wouldn't do anything to change it. It works because when Carlos gets home, Ana has an announcement, but it's just that she wants to quit her job.
In the end, Gaby tears the photos in half and delivers them to John. When Carlos gets home from his dinner with his "hooker" Lynette, Gaby delivers a nice speech that starts by recounting what a crappy day she had and ends by reaffirming how genuinely happy she is.
Danny is thinking about quitting school. "Our family's been in this country for five generations; it's time one of us got a diploma," Angie cracks. He says everyone on campus hates him because they think he attacked Julie. "When he gets unhappy, he gets sloppy," Angie tells Nick after Danny storms off. "He says all sorts of things he shouldn't." Ominous.
Later, Angie corners Porter and bribes him into planning a party for Danny so he can make new friends, maybe meet a cute girl. Angie buys new clothes for herself and her son for the party. As she models her purchase, Danny sees the scars on her back and asks why she hasn't had them removed, and why his dad is buying expensive new golf clubs. "After the explosion, I was in bad shape," Angie reveals. "Your father took real good care of me. He hung in there. He's a real good man, don't you forget that." (Explosion?) Danny promises that one day he's going to make a lot of money so she can have the surgery. "No matter what happens, I'm going to take care of you," he says creepily.
Once the beer is flowing at the party, Porter and Danny become fast friends. Plus, Mr. and Mrs. Bolen have apparently been issued a copy of the Wisteria Lane Parenting Handbook because they're there too, for a little while anyway. When Danny sees his dad chatting up some of his female classmates, he confronts him. Nick doesn't think he deserves the attitude he's getting from his son of late, but Danny begs to differ. "I know," Danny says significantly. But we don't find out what he knows because Angie interrupts and drags Nick away just in time from the underage fete.
Andrew is back! He's at the hospital bringing Julie flowers, and Susan exposits that she's so glad that he and Julie stayed friends all these years. Andrew lets it slip that Julie quit medical school six months ago (wait, Julie was in medical school?) and got a job waiting tables. Oh, also: She's dating a married man.
Susan rifles through Julie's things and finds her journal and discovers that Julie never mentions the married man by name; she only refers to him as "D." But no matter! Julie wakes up from her coma (convenient!), so she can ask her herself. The doctor tells Susan that Julie is really tired, so she shouldn't ask any questions. But this is Susan we're talking about, so she tells Julie that she's not pregnant and hints that she knows that she was dating a married man. The normally chipper Julie is tight-lipped, and sends her mother away.
The next day, Susan pleads with Julie to tell her who she was seeing, so the police can talk to him. Julie refuses, saying that she broke it off with him and that she doesn't want to ruin things for him and his family. This enrages Susan, mostly because she thinks Julie should know better than to date a married man, since she saw firsthand what infidelity can do to a marriage. "I'm not perfect anymore," she says.
And how! In the episode's final scene, we see Susan leaving Julie's hospital room and another mystery visitor arrive. In a slow reveal, we see what many of you suspected: It's Nick Bolen, who also apparently goes by Dominic, hence the "D." in Julie's journal.
What did you think of "The God-Why-Don't-You-Love-Me Blues"? Is Katherine's nervous breakdown a good idea? Do you think we've seen the last of John Rowland? What is it that Danny knows — that his dad was having an affair with Julie? Sound off in the comments section below.
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