An interesting fact to ponder about this week's very full episode: Not only did our six ladies tear up the scenery as usual, it also had the unique effect of granting potentially rich future storylines to four Desperate Husbands and at least two Desperate Offspring. Let's get to it!
Poor little poor girl: If Eva Longoria ever wins an award for
Desperate Housewives, she'd better remember to thank her stilettos, as her sky-high heels are often the source of much physical comedy. Remember her mowing her lawn in a couture gown and heels? A laugh riot. This week it was the grueling walk from the car to the valet-free Price Warehouse --"we're poor now, remember?" she reminds Lynette -- that has her dogs a-barkin'. Solution: She gets a legit handicapped tag, and then abuses the privilege. Her altercation with the two militant men in wheelchairs ended predictably cringe-y, with Gaby rolling her adversary out of frame and declaring, "Well, it's official; I'm going to hell." If nothing else, you have to applaud the girl for her degree of self-awareness.
Last week I praised Longoria for combining her character's hilarious shenanigans with a true emotional heart. And while I still basically believe that to be true, this week's abrupt 180 from vixen to victim seemed a tad forced. Her teary declaration that Carlos' blindness didn't just happen to him -- she has to put the toothpaste on the
left! -- would have been more moving if she didn't just cart his ass all over town to prove her handicapped-parking eligibility and emerge from the nail salon clutching a smoothie. I'm sure there's more to this storyline, so I'll reserve further judgment for now. Their love story, as demonstrated in the dressing-for-the-ball-scene, rings true, so that will sustain us through what I'm sure is Carlos' temporary blindness. Right? It has to be temporary.
¡Tom is en fuego! In another life when I wrote episode recaps of
Housewives for another website, I used to refer to Tom (Doug Savant) as Gay Matt, owing to his mild-mannered role on
Melrose Place. It was kind of obnoxious of me, and also kind of funny. But here's a promise: I'll never do it again. After tonight's ep, Savant has earned the right to avoid my stoopid nicknames.
The reappearance of Rick Coletti (Jason Gedrick) inflamed (heh) Tom's jealousies in a way that has suddenly turned a lovable-but-kind-of-boring character into a full-fledged enigma. What I will now refer to as the "Tomming" of Savant began with that cold, black-hearted stare Tom shot at Rick in exchange for his sucky Barolo offering. Tom's seething quickly found its first victim, the front window of Rick's neighboring new restaurant. Yes, Tom bricked Rick's, and then lied to the cops about it. That, coupled with Tom telling Lynette that Rick had changed the way Tom looks at Lynette, paved the way for a darker, more complicated Tom Scavo. But did it drive him to arson? I like the idea that, at this point, I think, yeah, it totally did, and it has totally changed the way
I look at Tom Scavo.
Edie! Edie! Edie! It would be weird if I noted how much Edie Britt and my awesome nana have in common, right? First off, they're both named Edie. To wit: Nan once appeared on national TV dressed as a witch (long story), which prompted The Official Salem Witch to put a hex on our family. She skied well into her 80s, used to wear a wig that my cousins and I called The Squiggle, and still knows if her grandchildren have watered down her scotches. Anyway this week, the writers did Edie
Britt a solid by returning her to form as the Character Who Says What Everyone Else Is Thinking. When Bree agreed to let Katherine help with the annual black-tie Founder's Ball, the lay-deez knew it had disaster written all over it, but were not so indelicate as to mention it. Enter Edie. "Nobody?" she asks when the table goes mute. "OK, I'm going in. You'd kill each other literally." Little did she know
Bree vs. Katherine: Tonight's battle of the scrapbooks for the esteemed title of Tightest Ass of Wisteria Lane took the shape of their passive-aggressive collaboration on the planning of the Founder's Ball. Naturally, Katherine is as assertive as her floral suggestions. (Wikipedia tells me that
Lycianthes is a member of the nightshade family, which also includes the potato and the eggplant. They're sometimes poisonous, and share chemical properties with both cocaine and nicotine. As Katherine put it: "Isn't learning fun?")
Bree, feeling Katherine is trying to steal her spotlight, naturally serves up her competition some tainted dip to lay her low, leaving her with a realistic puking scene (ew), crazy hair and the general appearance of someone who "should be in line at the needle exchange." The writers have the last laugh when Katherine presents Bree with the Founder's Award, literally shifting the spotlight back to Bree.
So, in a twisted way, Katherine wins this battle. She understands that Gabrielle's the glamorous one, Susan's the adorable one, Lynette's smart, Edie's Edie, and that Bree is the domestic one, the organizer. I know I'm a sycophant when it comes to Dana Delany, but she nailed this important scene. Katherine knows that she's moving in on Bree's turf. But she also knows that they've both had days when "it was set a beautiful table or curl up in a ball and die" (again, great crumple face here), and thus could be best friends. I, for one, am all for it. I hear that the pair will start a catering business together this season, so I'm guessing that this tender détente will be short-lived.
By the way, my nana never puts pears in Waldorf salad, so I'm with Bree on that one.
"A man is only as sick as his secrets": Orson's secret that he mowed down Mike Delfino has the bizarre effect to afflict him with sleepwalking. (
Showgirls) Naked sleepwalking. (
Showgirls) Which gives Teri Hatcher the opportunity to be all fidgety and cute, as she's the one who gets a private audience with Little Hodge (
Showgirls) not once, but twice. (How can you
not think of that scene in
It's weird that the producers have revived this storyline, after poor Dixie Carter's death seemed to tie up the loose ends, even if it was a squandering of the actress' prodigious talents. But I suppose it's a godsend for both James Denton and Kyle MacLachlan, whose characters were, respectively, literally and figurately absent from much of the first half of the season. It seems like Mike's memory recovery will include Orson's secret next week, and I'm curious to see how this revelation will express itself. Is it really fair to make Bree lose another man when she seems so settled? The chemistry between Marcia Cross and MacLachlan in the scene when the couple suggest that Susan had a "naughty dream" about the "sex machine" Orson positively crackled. Even after Bree suggested that the lonely, pregnant Susan take a warm bath with a romance novel.
Housewives: The Next Generation: Just when I was ready to dash off a strongly worded screed about the neglect of the teen denizens of Wisteria Lane, Andrew (Gay Andrew? Nah.) pops up to inform Lynette of the torching of Rick's, Julie shows off new, surprisingly deep facial expressions as she became the recipient of Orson's secret, and a mystery man circles a picture of Dylan in the newspaper. And he's surrounded by empty beer cans, cigarette butts and discarded fast-food wrappers, which is TV shorthand for a possibly-not-so-nice man might be paying the Mayfairs a visit some time soon. It's also shorthand for my coffee table on the average Sunday morning. Spooky!
Do you think Tom burned down Rick's? I have to admit: I'm more into the idea as a narrative concept. I'm not so sure I want to see the new, improved Tom go to the slammer although Desperate Husbands do have that tendency.
Are you with me that Carlos' blindness has to be temporary?
Is Dana Delany as blockbuster in this role as I think she is?
TiVo Check: Did anyone else notice that the hands that picked up the newspaper in the final scene were not the same hands that circled Dylan's picture? Is the Mystery Man unable to get his own newspaper and who is his paper-getting accomplice?
Also: Who do you think this Mystery Man is? Dylan's father? Susan's weird cousin? Zach Young???
The title of this episode is "In Buddy's Eyes." Who's Buddy? And what's he got in his eyes?
An interesting fact to ponder about this weeks very full episode Not only did our six ladies tear up the scenery as usual it also had the unique effect of granting potentially rich future storylines to four Desperate Husbands and at least two Desperate Offspring Lets get to itPoor little poor girl If Eva Longoria ever wins an award for Desperate Housewives shed better remember to thank her stilettos as her sky-high heels are often the source of much physical comedy Remember her mowing her lawn in a couture gown and heels A laugh riot This week it was the grueling walk from the car to the valet-free Price Warehouse --were poor now remember she reminds Lynette -- that has her dogs a-barkin Solution She gets a legit handicapped tag and then abuses the privilege Her altercation with the two militant men in wheelchairs ended predictably cringe-y with Gaby rolling her adversary out of frame and declaring Well its official Im going to hell If nothing else y