Dancing with the Stars

2005, TV Show

Dancing with the Stars Episode: "Dancing With the Stars"

Season 12, Episode 8
Episode Synopsis: The fifth week of performances features celebrities dancing to songs that celebrate America in honor of Patriot's Day.
Original Air Date: Apr 18, 2011

Dancing with the Stars Episode Recap: Monday, April 18, 2011 Season 12, Episode 8

God bless America! It's American week on Dancing with the Stars as the top eight couples perform to patriotic tunes to honor the good ol' U.S.A. Who did America proud? Plus: Did Kirstie have a mishap for a third week in a row?

I can't think of a better way to celebrate tax day than by watching people dance in red, white and blue. You? After the awesomeness that was classical week, this theme can definitely fall back to the usual Dancing cheese. Not that there's anything wrong with that.

Ralph Macchio and Karina Smirnoff: samba
They have "Sweet Home Alabama." Samba. Alabama. I get it. They're all country-fied here with cowboy hats, belt buckles and fringe. Ralph is sort of adorable, but this is more of a country line dance than a samba. Where are the samba rolls and hip action? He does stay in sync and sells the whole dance with his showmanship, but still, not a real samba. Len tells him he's inconsistent and lacked rhythm. Bruno cannot disagree because there was no "fire down below." He, of course, would know. "Give me sex, man!" No, thanks. Carrie Ann understood the tall order they had in fusing the samba and a country song, and by those standards, she says it was a vivacious performance. Backstage, Karina suggests Ralph take Bruno out to dinner to woo him for higher scores. "I don't know if you were listening, Ralph, but Bruno just doesn't want dinner," Tom quips.
Score: 22

Chris Jericho and Cheryl Burke: Viennese waltz

Chris' mission is to get higher than a 7 from Len before busting out a killer Len impression. They have "America the Beautiful" and are doing a military theme. Chris really rocks with the ballroom dances, thanks to his stellar posture and form. The routine is elegant, sweeping and seems completely effortless from him. Bruno calls it big yet graceful. Carrie Ann says they've underestimated him. Uh, yes, and underscored him. Len says it's nice to see Cheryl showing off the Rocky Mountains. Ah, the cheap boob joke. "I feel violated," she says. Don't we all. He says that while Chris' hold was good, he was still flat-footed and will get an 8 when he deserves an 8. And he gets one! And two 9s to boot!
Score: 26

Petra Nemcova and Dmitry Chaplin: quickstep

They're dancing to "Viva Las Vegas," all the more ironic because Petra had no idea who Elvis was growing up in Czechoslovakia. The dance is her "thank you" to America for all the dreams she has achieved here. Gotta hand it to the girl for tugging at your heart every week. Sniff. Their routine is insanely fast and Petra does her best keeping up, but has a few minor slip-ups during some of the quick sequences. Technique-wise, her lines were beautiful and her hold was steady. Still, there's something "weak" about it, like you think she may collapse from exhaustion any second. Carrie Ann thinks she took a step back. Len thinks she coped well with the speed, but her head gets too cranky. Speaking of cranky. Bruno disagrees and calls her the golden goddess of speed. He admits there were foot faults, but the quality was very good.
Score: 22

Romeo and Chelsie Hightower: foxtrot

Romeo's pumped because he's already lasted longer than his dad. He wants to put some swagger into the foxtrot, to which Chelsie agrees as long as it's '60s swagger since they have "New York, New York." I approve of '60s swagger. It's sassy, fresh, but not totally overzealous and gimmicky (ahem, Mark) that it takes away from the actual dance. This is definitely the best dance so far. Romeo is smooth, jaunty, light on his feet, and his posture is top-notch. Len thinks he had control while in hold and had flair out of hold and says he's on the right road. Bruno says he's never seen a foxtrot so cheeky while maintaining the style of the dance. Carrie Ann says it's "so cool and so sophisticated."
Score: 26

Hines Ward and Kym Johnson: rumba

They're dancing the rumba (or "ramba," as Hines calls it) to "God Bless the USA" and Hines is determined to top Ralph's score. Looks like Kym borrowed one of Edyta's skimpy leftover dresses... and looks like a twirling mop. Outside of the cacophonous rendition of the song, the routine is decent and sweet — but not a lot of smolder or even romance. However, like, 80 percent of it is maypole dancing by Kym and Hines is just standing there, twirling her. Bruno says there was enough sensuality to make the ladies swoon. Carrie Ann says he has the best hip action she's seen in a loooooong time. Len likes that it didn't seem forced and says it's his best dance so far. Um, were we watching the same thing? In the celeb-quarium, Hines shares that he rehearsed sans Kym this week, performing instead "pillow love." TMI.
Score: 27

Kirstie Alley and Maksim Chmerkovskiy: foxtrot

Kirstie wants people to know she's in it to win it and hires a dance doctor, aka John Travolta, to help them foxtrot to "American Woman." Scientologists unite! Or Look Who's Talking reunion depending on how you look at it. "Romantically, what's going on here?" he asks. "Nothing," she says. "There's no romantic tension," he diagnoses. (Anyone else have a Friends flashback?) Maks is in a wifebeater and leather pants. That is all. No, wait, that's not all. He takes off the 'beater. I don't think anyone with a pulse is watching Kirstie now. For the parts I did pay attention to, Kirstie did a nice job. This is not your grandfather's (read: Len's) foxtrot. (Who was the genius who thought a good foxtrot song was "American Woman"?) It's got 'tude to spare and is bold and in-your-face. The best part: No mishap! Yay! Carrie Ann says it was ambitious and borderline crazy, but it suited Kirstie. "I think it was your best dance ever," she says. Len says the overall feel wasn't his cup of tea. Typical. Bruno calls Maks a Russian gigolo. "I didn't know you were so dirty," he coos. And Kelly Preston hearts it too!
Score: 23

Kendra Wilkinson and Louis van Amstel: foxtrot
Kendra says she's not "f---ing afraid of elegance" and that "Carrie Ann made me feel like trash." Tell us how you really feel. Since when did "elegance" become taboo? Louis, patient as ever, talks her back to her senses and she gets it now. For that, they get the honor of performing the show's 1,000th dance. Cue the confetti! I guess we should've figured with Louis' Uncle Sam get-up. They have "Yankee Doodle Dandy" and enough red, white and blue to last us until the next Fourth of July. Kendra, for her part, has rebounded from last week's fiasco. It's by no means elegant and technique-wise, she still leaves a lot to be desired, but this time, she actually looks like she's enjoying herself and there's a better flow in her rhythm. She still needs more conviction and sharpness in her steps, however. Len says it was much better than last week. Bruno says it was sweet as apple pie, but he can still see her thoughts. Carrie Ann says this is the most confident she's ever seen Kendra.
Score: 22

Chelsea Kane and Mark Ballas: samba
Chelsea wants to stay on top and she thinks she can stay there by breaking every single rule for the samba since they're dancing to "Party in the U.S.A." Ah, Mark's brainwashed her! Mark, however, wants to keep it straight to show off her technique. Has Len finally gotten through? He keeps his word. There's still the corny Ballas M.O., but nothing outrageous. And let's face it, Chelsea's just a great dancer. She's got the hip action down, and the whole thing is routine is fun and high-energy. Bruno says her placement is so tight. Carrie Ann calls it fantastic. Len calls it "real good fun," but points out she messed up at one part.
Score: 26

So Hines reclaims the top spot with a 27, the highest score of the season so far. Ralph, Petra, Kendra are in a three-way tie for last with a 22.

What did you think? Did everyone do the U.S.A. proud? Do you like American week? Is Hines the one to beat? Did Kendra deserve to have the 1,000th dance? Are you glad Len finally gave Chris an 8? Who else's, uh, Rocky Mountains has Len been eyeing? Do you likes '60s swagger? Did John Travolta cure Kirstie of her mishap curse? Will Maks have trouble getting out of those leather pants? Who do you think will get the boot tomorrow?

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God bless America! It's American week on Dancing with the Stars as the top eight couples perform to patriotic tunes to honor the good ol' U.S.A. Who did America proud? Plus: Did Kirstie have a mishap for a third week in a row?
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Premiered: June 01, 2005, on ABC
Rating: TV-PG
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Premise: Celebrities are paired with professionals in a ballroom-dance competition, with one pair typically eliminated each week.

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