Elmer (Jimmy Kimmel) calls a clinic for a hearing aid appointment.
Bobby Fletcher (Jim Florentine) calls a drug counseling center for a job.
Sav McCauley (Dane Cook) finds a reluctant contestant for his game show.
Niles Standish (Tony Barbieri) calls with questions about good caulk for his bathroom.
OCD Ken (Kevin Nealon) calls a dating service to find an "even" woman.
Cammie (Lisa Kushell) gets turned on by a hapless support technician.
Dom Irrera calls Mike about a car accident in the Pyramid Mall parking lot.
Terrence (Jimmy Kimmel) makes reservations at a restaurant for Bill Cosby.
Special Ed (Jim Florentine) calls the movie theater for ticket prices.
Hadassah (Sarah Silverman) calls about a $25 casino chip that she lost.
Niles Standish (Tony Barbieri) interviews a potential player for his basketball team.
Jack Osbourne calls home under false arrest pretenses and gets Bobby Fletcher as his legal counsel.
Rudy gets into a "Yo Grandma" contest with the porn shop proprietor.
Did you or did you not spend last night with the Man of Steel?
Cammie (Lisa Kushell) hounds a strip club to book her and her seeing-eye dog act.