There's only so much television a single professional television viewer can watch. So I do not know exactly what jokes, or how many, Leno, Letterman and Maher have devoted to this since it was announced. But I bet it's a lot. I'm relatively sure Nightline hasn't touched it... yet. But it's feasible that Ted Koppel could use this to launch a discussion of the approaching Apocalypse. Celebrity boxing? Please! Danny “Partridge” Bonaduce against Barry “Brady” Williams. Well, sure, that's just two natural enemies from the dog-eat-dog wilds of TV. It's harder to draw parallels between the latest announced combatants, former Diff'rent Strokes star Todd Bridges and former rap star Vanilla Ice. Oh, wait, there's one parallel: former. Finally, did you hear that moan of disappointment envelop the nation when Amy “Lolita” Fisher dropped out of her scheduled fight with Tonya “the Gillooly” Harding? Her replacement is Paula “your offensive word here” Jones, who says she just doesn't want to disturb her nose job. Uh-huh. Well, why not get into a boxing ring, sweetie? Imagine my disappointment upon learning that the press would most definitely not be invited to this hopefully-once-in-a-lifetime event. If this fiasco actually does make it to the air, God help us, I've got 20 bucks that says Harding mops the floor with Jones...possibly literally.