Welcome to the latest edition of Big Brother: The Crying Game. Seriously, the tears were a-flowin' as this episode kicked off, thanks to the always dramatic Rachel and the surprising hysterics of Shelly. But luckily, a down-to-the-wire veto competition and the looniest game move in weeks helped the episode turn out OK after all! So, what went down? And which two houseguests are on the chopping block heading into Thursday's eviction? Let's find out!
But first: I want to thank my esteemed colleagues Lindsay Silberman and Rich Juzwiak for filling in for me while I was away at the Television Critics Association fall TV previews in Los Angeles. I am honored to have them in my alliance. But since no one comes between me and my blog, I'm back! (But, seriously, thanks guys.)
So, we pick up in the aftermath of Kalia nominating Rachel and Jeff. Rachel is convinced that Kalia is following the script written for her by Daniele and flies off the handle, as usual. (Kalia says Rachel is "immature, catty and ridiculous." That's the best you could come up with, Kalia?) Jeff is equally perturbed but promises to win the veto and come after Kalia as he promised he would if she nominated him. Daniele is happy Kalia got some blood on her hands.
As Rachel tries to pick a fight with Daniele, it's Shelly who pulls her aside and tries to talk her off the ledge. "You have more class than that," Shelly says. (Um, really?) When Rachel continues to insist that she should make hell in the house for her presumed final week in the game, Shelly breaks out the big guns: "Brendon doesn't want to see you this way," Shelly says. But nothing doing: Rachel storms off, vowing to leave the house.
Next to step in front of Rachel's crazy train is Jordan. Rachel goes on and on about how people keep making personal attacks against her and that she can't do it without Brendon, and Jordan seriously just looks exhausted having to deal with her. "What do people want from me?" Rachel asks. (The answer: For you to shut up once in a while. They really don't hate you, you just need to take it down 10 notches.) Jordan tells Rachel to fight against the "sheep" in the house and temporarily calms her down. Secretly, we all know that the houseguests wish Brendon was still around, because he knows the recipe for the cocktail of crazy it takes to reason with Rachel when she's in ugly cry mode.
Meanwhile, Porsche and Daniele listen to Rachel's whining from the next room and cringe at almost every word. Porsche seems prepared to distance herself from former ally Rachel, and perhaps even vote her out. She's had enough of the drama, and Daniele is ready to pounce.
Kalia, however, is having second thoughts about her nominations. Even though she is targetting Rachel, she worries that nominating Jeff is going to hurt her. It doesn't get any better when Jeff rallies the entire house, saying he wants to know whose side everybody is on. Jeff says if you're with him, great. If you're not, then prepare for war. Kalia says she wanted to step out and make a big game move, but she wasn't prepared for Jeff to be so mad. She cries a lot and Daniele seems to not really care, because she's icy. Kalia vows to find a way to prove she is still open to work with Jeff and Jordan.
But wait, there's more drama: When Jeff picks Shelly to play in the veto competition, Jordan asks Shelly if she is still on their side. (She did after all, really blow it in the have/have-not competition and we all know she's playing both sides). Shelly gets offended, and she starts crying, forcing Jeff to do damage control. Shelly says she's always been on the same page with Jeff and Jordan and has been their Trojan horse, getting information from the other side. Jeff says he and Jordan will definitely honor the "final three" deal they made with Shelly and she cheers up, even before Jeff jokingly offers to make out with her.
Joining Shelly, Jeff, Rachel and Kalia in the veto competition are Adam and Jordan (who Rachel chose very obviously over Porsche. Can't wait to see that catfight!) The name of the game is to push a ball up a ramp and run to the other side to catch it before it hits the ground. Every time the ball crosses the top of the ramp, you get a point. First player to 300 points wins. (Oh, and if you drop the ball, your point total goes back to zero.) Also, everyone is wearing Greek garb, as this event was inspired by the myth of Sisyphus, who pushed a rock up the hill. This information A) makes me miss the recently canceled Men of a Certain Age and B) is useless, because we all know the Big Brother houseguests can't read.
Jeff seems suited for this competition, but Adam, who wants to both prove he can compete but also make sure he doesn't go on the block as a replacement nominee, leads the game most of the way. ("Adam has more balls than Jeff," Jordan says, before realizing what she said and covering her mouth in hilarious shame.) Rachel tries too hard, and after a couple of drops, is pretty much out of the running. Ditto Jordan and Shelly. Kalia just gets worn out, and actively cheers for Jeff, which upsets Daniele beyond belief. Ultimately, the nail-biter comes down in Jeff's favor, as he beats Adam by about three catches. Watch out, Kalia: "What Big Jeff says, Big Jeff does," Jeff says. I really hadn't noticed how much he refers to himself in the third person. Glad he won, but that's annoying.
But not as annoying as Rachel, who cries yet again! "It's hard without Brendon. I can't even stand up for his memory," she says. He isn't dead, Rachel. Ugh.
Hey! It's Adam's birthday, and he wants to shave his beard. And when he does, he honestly looks like a different person. Sadly, he still sounds like Adam. Guess they don't make clippers that can remove the heavy metal roar.
Now that Jeff has secured his own safety, Kalia is both happy and torn that she has to make another enemy by naming a replacement. Jeff tells Kalia that he meant what he said, and that he's coming after her next week. She tries to again promise that he was never the target, and hopes that by not nominating Jordan in his place, she can gain back some of his trust. Rachel seizes on that moment and tells Kalia to nominate someone who Rachel could actually beat during the vote. Rachel says she will not target Kalia and she thinks it will help get Kalia a clean slate with Jeff and Jordan.
Kalia takes the idea to Daniele, who, of course, hates it. (And Kalia kind of lies: She tells Daniele that Rachel promised both of them safety, when it was really only Kalia). Daniele doesn't trust Rachel and wants to see her gone. Kalia insists that she has to play for herself, especially since whoever she sends home has the chance to come right back in the game. And then, Lawon opens his mouth. He volunteers to go on the block, which will make Rachel, Jeff and Jordan think Kalia is keeping her word. But Lawon is overplaying his hand. He assumes he not only assumes he will come back into the house but also that he will be granted some special powers. (Because those powers will turn a worthless competitor into a winner? 'Fraid not, pal.)
Kalia and Daniele think it's a perfect idea. In fact, they almost want to send Lawon home in order to earn Rachel's deal and then hope that Lawon comes back. What they don't know is that Lawon will have to fight his way back in the house, and I am certain that almost anybody can beat him. (Still rooting for Cassi to be chosen!)
At the veto ceremony, Jeff removes himself from the block. Kalia drops the "bombshell" which gets ridiculous smiles from Rachel and Jeff. They both think Kalia is an idiot for playing into their hands. Although they're kind of right, it makes the game much more interesting. The biggest idiot, of course, is Lawon. He's so confident in his moves, and is way too excited about his "angry performance." "They are going to think I've gone crazy," Lawon says. Yeah, they will, but not for the reasons you think.
So, who do you think will be evicted? Who do you want to see come back into the house? And has there ever been a more clueless competitor than Lawon? Share your thoughts in the comments below.
Welcome to the latest edition of Big Brother: The Crying Game. Seriously, the tears were a-flowin' as this episode kicked off, thanks to the always dramatic Rachel and the surprising hysterics of Shelly. But luckily, a down-to-the-wire veto competition and the looniest game move in weeks helped the episode turn out OK after all! So, what went down? And which two houseguests are on the chopping block heading into Thursday's eviction? Let's find out...