Best Week Ever on VH1

Here s an actual video from a group called The American Life League calling out Planned Parenthood on their devious, underhanded scheme to hook children on sex at an early age so they get STDs and become pregnant and thus need Planned Parenthood s services more. Here s the video s description: Planned Parenthood exposes children to sexual material in order to seed a generation of sex addicts, who will become future customers for the abortion giant. Planned Parenthood is BUSTED!!! Sure, some naive people might argue that openly talking to kids about sex at an early age (utilizing occasional tongue-in-cheek methods and an honest recognition of the obvious pleasures of sex and masturbation) will de-stigmatize sex and bring it out into the open where we can have rational, informed discussions about it and thus lessen the risks involved. Others might also argue that billions of years of evolution have given us all an innate sexual desire and curiosity, and that pretending this doesn t exist and preaching total abstinence is both asinine and completely ineffective as nearly all research ever conducted shows. WRONNNNGGGGG!!!! Planned Parenthood is sneaking our children vagina fruit roll ups and that s why people are interested in sex. Watch and be informed: I ll never forget when I was thirteen and had absolutely no innate desire to seek out sexual material or to masturbate, but Planned Parenthood kept coming to my school and hooking me up to that Clockwork Orange machine and forcing my eyes open and showing me graphic sexual images for hours on end, and after months of this treatment, I was finally like FINE! I ll allow an erection to happen when I watch the Madonna Take A Bow video! YOU WIN, PLANNED PARENTHOOD!!! and I ve been interested in sex ever since. If only my school or parents had NEVER talked to me about sex in an honest manner, there s just no telling how many fewer STDs or illegitimate children I might ve had (I currently have 70 of both). Ah well, you

Parents in Lake Worth, FL. have got their non-urine-soaked panties in a bunch, as wild raccoons are invading the local middle school, and authorities are doing nothing to stop it. Sound harmless enough? Oh, but isn t there always a twist? Not only are the raccoons invading the school they are also peeing on children. If you want to get scientific about it, the raccoons are in the ceiling of the school, and the urine is dripping down on the students. Slightly less enticing, yes, but still pretty disgusting. I mean, imagine trying to figure out sines and cosines while raccoon piss keeps dripping in your hair. Here is a hilariously small video embed covering the story: Which leads me to ask: Who are you going to believe? Some school children? Or this guy? EXACTLY. (via Huffpo)

Like any truly great internet supercut, the I ll Call You Back Supercut 1) Takes a very specific but seemingly innocuous phrase that makes you think to yourself, Do they really say that in movies that often? 2) Shows you 8 billion examples of characters saying that phrase, causing you to chuckle. 3) Reminds you that we re all a bunch of clich -ridden, repetitive disease bags incapable of writing or conceiving an original thought so WHAT ARE WE EVEN DOING ON THIS STINKIN ROCK? Art is DEAD! DEAAAADDDD!!!! [Swings crutch to shatter picture frame of first wife, sobs...] Enjoy! It s short: Man, you movie people are super awkward when it comes to phones. Who do you think you are, all of us always? (Slacktory, via The High Definite)

Here s a combination music video / interview with highly controversial puppified pop star Lana Dog Rey. It is literally just Lana Del Rey music and sound bytes overtop video of a dog in different crazy outfits, and that is presciently why it is excellent. I ve been wondering when we d get around to seeing a dog version of Lana Del Ray ever since five seconds after learning of the existence of Lana Del Rey. Internet, you earned your paycheck this week: (via Lindsey Weber)