Tyra Banks' eighth competition among model wannabes has begun, and we have the usual assemblage of applicants: spoiled divas, bimbos, innocent girls-next-door, punky types, the cocky know-it-alls, sweet country girls, urban hard-knock-life chicks, a mom, and a "plus-size" or two.
But before we knew from whence came these 33 semifinalists, they were dumped at a military base for some model boot-camp training. The only things worth remembering about the boot camp were the stylings of Miss J. - in skin-tight military shorts - and those of the "maggots," who changed into two-inch-heel black boots and capri-cut fatigues for what amounted to less than 10 minutes of footage in tonight's two-hour premiere.
Then in their first one-on-one interviews (and swimsuit modelings) with Tyra and the Js, some slight differences over previous seasons' contestants surfaced, what with the weave Cassandra lent, then retrieved and sewed to her head; the punk/rebel grrrl sporting 20 tattoos; and Natasha...
ANTM's first mail-order bride. (The Russian seemed to refer to her marriage with a 40-year-old American in the past tense, but I have no doubt we'll be hearing further details in future episodes.)
If you glanced at the CW website, you'd know who made the cut. But just for grins, let's pretend we were surprised to learn of the 20 who moved on and were then subsequently invited to a Marc Ecko party, during which they posed (un)casually for shots later used by the judges to narrow the group down to the final 13. Both plus-size models Diana and Whitney made it, as did borrowed-weave Cassandra from the Bronx and now-Texan Natasha, whose stilted English makes Danielle's (winner, Cycle 6) Arkansas Southern drawl sound like Shakespeare. Speaking of talking, Natasha also instigated the first catfight; methinks she'll have trouble making friends in the models' manse.
As for the blonde and pale Jael being half African-American, half German Jew - surely Tyra feigned her surprise. (You just know they've already filled out tome-size applications to have made it this far.) The makeup artist with 20 tattoos (even one on each armpit) was cut. One or two tattoos, no problem, easily covered. But 20 - CoverGirl would never stand for that. Countrified Samantha stayed, despite being more familiar with butter beans than modeling. She's pretty, but I think she'll need to distinguish herself from Nicole (Cycle 5 winner) as the contest continues.
At Goodwill, the ladies were told to rummage through the racks in three minutes, then sport their wares for an impromptu runway show/charity auction, with the money going toward Goodwill's mission to help the "vocationally challenged," as explained stylist-to-the-stars Philip Bloch. As soon as Miss J. assessed Kathleen as a "straight-up Brooklyn hoochie" with a "great personality," I knew the odds were not in her favor. What model moniker like that engenders success? (By the way, did the $286
total raised for Goodwill seem really lame to anyone else? If you know the money's going to charity, wouldn't you give more, even if the clothes suck?)
As for the photo challenge, each of the final 13 were assigned a political statement - being for or against guns, gay marriage, meat, fur, you get the idea - a setting ripe for emotive facial expressions. The photo shoots were largely uneventful. When Jael began to complain about feeling sick, I thought we had our first Cycle 8 illness, but her hula-hooping minutes later threw me off.
Only Felicia (a Tyra/Beyoncé look-alike) and (surprisingly) Jaslene had passion in their faces and some semblance of emotion in their eyes. When Jael and Kathleen made the bottom two, it was obvious that the latter would go home. That galactic red 'fro could be nixed in a makeover, but her spacey demeanor would probably have remained intact.
Finally, I leave you with this: Due to the overuse of the word "fierce," I'm going to keep a running tally each episode. Number of times something or someone was "fierce" tonight: six.
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Tyra Banks' eighth competition among model wannabes has begun, and we have the usual assemblage of applicants: spoiled divas, bimbos, innocent girls-next-door, punky types, the cocky know-it-alls, sweet country girls, urban hard-knock-life chicks, a mom, and a "plus-size" or two. But before we knew from whence came these 33 semifinalists, they were dumped at a military base for some model boot-camp training. The only things worth remembering about the boot camp were the stylings of Miss J. — in skin-tight military shorts — and those of the "maggots," who changed into two-inch-heel black boots and capri-cut fatigues for what amounted to less than 10 minutes of footage in tonight's two-hour premiere.Then in their first one-on-one interviews (and swimsuit modelings) with Tyra and the Js, some slight differences over previous seasons' contestants surfaced, what with the weave Cassandra lent, then retrieved and sewed to her head; the punk/rebel grrrl sporting 20 tattoos; and Na...
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