The Hoff and
Jerry embark on week three of scouring the country looking for the USA's best talent.
Remember, the contestants who get the nod move on to Vegas. The ultimate winner collects $1 million and a Vegas contract.
This week we start in Dallas (where, by the way, ventriloquist Terry Fator was discovered last year).
Corky Duke - does some kind of cowboy contortionist routine. Three quick X's. But, you know what? He can kick kind of high.
The Rodeo Rhythm Kings - Three cowboys (oh, right, we're in Dallas) playing the violin, bass and geetar. They also tried to harmonize. X-X-X.
Then a quick series of rejected acts: a guy jumping off a horse, a woman trying to catch hula hoops,a guy snapping and clapping his fingers.
The judges and the Springer-ized energetic audience appear to have seen enough.
Holly Hardin - She's nahn-TAY-in (19). Sings
These Boots Are Made For Walking and the audience is buying it. No X's, but Sharon is not in love with her singing. Piers likes her, but she's got Sharon and The Hoff perplexed, and they leave her hanging. After the break, Sharon reiterates, "you have such a nice personality" (Sharon apparently has been on the dating circuit lately) and Piers gives a second shot to sing something - how about Dolly Parton? She belts out a few bars from
9 to 5 and the audience convinces Hoff and Sharon to give dear Holly a ticket to Vegas.
Duo Genesis - An acrobatic team. Pretty impressive, holding each other up with one hand. On to Vegas.
Lewis Warren, Jr. - Finally, a kid to charm our panel of judges. Lewis, 11, gets behind the piano (keyboard) and plays like a classic pianist. Wow. This kid's good. And he's headed to Vegas. Piers: "You've got talent pouring out of you."
Shaolin Warriors of Chinatown - A combination of street fighting, acrobatics and dancing has the judges fixated. Hoff votes "su", as what would be said in Chinese (sounds like 'suh'). They get the nod.
Beyond Belief Dance Company - A 22-member dance group. Great coordination and choreography, though Piers is not liking the costumes or the makeup. They're all going to Vegas.
I had a feeling, however, we were due for some silliness, and I was right...
Fran Martin and
Smithfield the pig - A painting pig. That's what's been missing from prime time. Smithfield is a little slow to begin painting, and is X'd by Piers right away. Eventually, he gets no's across the board (Hoff: "May the watercolors be with you.") Piers becomes hungry for a bacon sandwich, which brings Jerry out from the wings, and nearly attacked by Smithfield, who's got nothing on
Diana Ross - She and her Yorkshire Terrier, Twinkle, do a dance routine, which is more like Ms. Ross dancing around and Twinkle, well, being a dog. Gone.
Sean Paul and Juliane - Their monkey is asked by the Hoff if their act is worth $1 million, he pushes a button lighting up a green light and gets three red X's in return.
Busy Bee Dogs - A less-than-stellar act featuring dogs chasing down frisbees. Gone.
Paul West and Tucker - A Dallas guy and his dog and a bunch of frisbees. The dog is great at catching the discs and doing flips and jumping in the air. Accidentally buzzed by Hoff. They're on to Vegas. [Note to video editors: the tendency during acts with lots of action is to employ excessive cutaways, and we miss what's going on up on stage. Just one guy's opinion.]
Paul Salos - A 71-year-old Frank Sinatra stylist who practiced for nine years before stepping on stage as Ol' Blue Eyes 40 years ago (
and he's got big, blue eyes - that sorta kinda look like colored contact lenses.) This guy is amazing! He's got the mannerisms, the voice and the smile down pat. He's got his wife and Jerry dancing backstage and Sharon and David cutting a rug at the judges' table. And a standing O from the crowd. I really want to see this guy perform again. To Vegas!
And the judges move on to find talent in Chicago once again...
Junior and Emily - A brother-and-sister dance team who perform a pretty incredible routine to salsa music. The judges (and Jerry) absolutely love them. Piers calls it the best act they've seen so far. They're going to Vegas.
Zane and Stephanie - A young married couple - who may have stepped forward in time straight from the
Lawrence Welk Show - who gaze lovingly into each others' eyes while singing
Unchained Melody. A quick X from Hoff, and then Piers joins in. Sharon holds out, but then advises them her voice is nice but together their music is too nice. Uh, right. No go on the Vegas trip.
George the Giant - At 7'3", he's out on stage to prove to his wife she can bet on a dreamer. He brings a volunteer up to the stage, who feeds him a long - a very long - and flexible straw up his nose, only to see it emerge from his mouth. And then he sucks milk through the straw. His wife probably kicked him out of the house and quoted Vinnie Barbarino ("up your nose with a rubber hose"). But that's not all! He rips off his shirt and lights off a mat of firecrackers taped to his chest. Throughout this whole charade, Sharon looks physically ill. Piers X'd him during the straw part of the act, but then wins him over with some humor (George: "when your my size, you have two choice: play basketball or be a freak"). Them he brings his wife out and she's literally the cutest little thing. He's going to Vegas, though Sharon said no.
Jessica Price - She began her singing career in church. She tells an emotional story of her father, a minister, leaving home, and she wants him to be proud of him. She performs Bonnie Raitt's
I Can't Make You Love Me and is pretty good. I don't know that her voice is spectacular, but she's very good. She's going to Vegas.
Smokin' McQueen - An 18-year-old oddity who comes out dressed like he's about to host
Masterpiece Theater and then proceeds to do a burlesque routine. Piers feels McQueen is lacking in the "equipment" department. Gone.
Coburn Hartsell - He claims to have a talent America has never seen. He rips off his clothes (most of them) and does a belly dance/contortionist type thing and is gone.
Gravity Plays Favorites - Now that we're in the 10 pm hour, how 'bout some pole dancing. Two ladies intend to show America what pole dancing is all about. Hmm...when I was at my cousin's bachelor party, I don't remember hearing the 'squishing' noise as the girls got to Biblicly become familiar with the pole. They're sent packing, but not to Vegas.
Two quick looks at acts. First,
Scandalesque features a woman who lights her costume on fire in a significant place (make that two significant places) and shakes them all about. Then,
The Hollywood Men do a Chippendale-type act and have to be reminded by the Hoff that it's a family show. Both act are gone.
Busty Heart - She's busty, all right. Hey, if a big, burly guy can crush wood with his bare hands, then a big, buxom woman can crush all kinds of things with her covered-up you-know-whats. She crushes about a dozen aluminum cans (see clip below for this and some bonus action) and gets three no's. Hoff: "If you were on
Baywatch, we would have lasted another 11 years."
The Southern Belles - A female foursome who rock out with a pretty incredible tap routine. Wow! They're off to Vegas. Piers says
this is the best audition of the day. Vegas!
Dan Meyer - A sword swallower who will risk his life for our entertainment pleasure. "I'm going to nudge my heart in the side," he promises. He's got everyone cringing right off the bat, er, the sword. He swallows about eight swords (including three at a time). David says no, wondering how he can do something different to wend his way through the levels of competition. Sharon and Piers agree the show is about variety and the unusual. They both vote yes and Dan is on to Vegas.
David Militello - The 9-year-old was diagnosed with autism at two months and suffered from the ailment until he was three years old (his bus driver reported back to his mother that David sang on the way to school). Now he's performing on stage. He sings the Jackson Five's classic
Ben. How cute! He's good, too. He tells Piers, "I'm going to have to think about that one" when asked what he'll sing next if they send him through. And he is sent through. And the crowd erupts! -
Use our Online Video Guide:
Watch Busty Heart in action
Check out cutie David Militello
Watch George the Giant gross everyone out
Piers, Sharon, The Hoff and Jerry embark on week three of scouring the country looking for the USA's best talent.Remember, the contestants who get the nod move on to Vegas. The ultimate winner collects $1 million and a Vegas contract.This week we start in Dallas (where, by the way, ventriloquist Terry Fator was discovered last year).Corky Duke - does some kind of cowboy contortionist routine. Three quick X's. But, you know what? He can kick kind of high.The Rodeo Rhythm Kings - Three cowboys (oh, right, we're in Dallas) playing the violin, bass and geetar. They also tried to harmonize. X-X-X.Then a quick series of rejected acts: a guy jumping off a horse, a woman trying to catch hula hoops,a guy snapping and clapping his fingers.The judges and the Springer-ized energetic audience appear to have seen enough.Holly Hardin - She's nahn-TAY-in (19). Sings These Boots Are Made For Walking and the audience is buying it. No X's, but Sharon is not in love with her singing. Piers likes her, b...