Week Two of finding the nation's best talent. And, sadly, again in standard definition.
The Hoff are in L.A. with
Jerry. The judges' picks move onto the next round in Las Vegas, all vying for a grand prize of $1 million and a Vegas contract.
Victoria - a singing fairy (and part-time nanny) who sings in a three-and-a-half octave voice. Er, right. She is perhaps three and a half notes into
When You Wish Upon a Star when Piers issues an 'X' with a buzzer that blows everyone's ears out. Then she's no'd out the door.
Daniel Avila - He compares himself to Luciano Pavarotti, but sounds more like Chef Boyardee. Hoff howls like a dog. Gone.
Polina Nikiforova - She (looks like a he with a mustache) and her mother playing ther keyboard. Polina does everything with a pair of cymbals but clap them together. Three quick X's.
Eli Mattson - Inspirational story of a young man who's had some rough financial times. I'm hoping he does well. Sings
Walking in Memphis and he's pretty good, vocally and with the keyboard. Midway through gets a standing O from the audience. Piers: "You've got talent." 'Nuff said. He's moving on to Vegas.
Cassie aka "Miss Pussykatt" - Performs a grinding act. That is, she runs an industrial grinder against an iron shield on her body and shoots sparks. We've seen this on
Late Show with David Letterman occasionally, but a great visual. And the judges are mesmerized. A pretty good Vegas act.
Lil Countrie & Page 1ne - Survivors of Hurricane Katrina, they lived smack dab in the middle of the 9th Ward and tell a heartbreaking story of their uncle who sacrificed himself for his three nieces and nephews. They perform a pretty impressive street dance act. Piers gives them a glowing review, saying they have blown the competition wide open.
That's it for L.A. Not a ton of talent tonight, but those that were talented were spectacular. Now we're back in New York...
Drumtazia - bring his one-man "extreme percussions" for the judges. He's got a good-looking drum set, but proceeds to create simply a solid wall of noise with no rhythm. Three X's and gone.
Next II None - Four students performing a hip-hop, street-type dance routine to *NSYNC's
Bye Bye Bye. Pretty good and well-choreographed. Sharon notes there isn't a great lead singer in the foursome. Um, dear, no one sang. They were dancing and occasionally mouthing to words. They're on to Vegas.
Russian Bar Trio - Jerry tells us this may be the most life-threatening act every attempted on
AGT. He's right. A great acrobatic act featuring a woman jumping on a pole as if it were a trampoline. Pretty impressive, and dangerous, and ready-made for Vegas. The judges love it. Hoff: "That's better than the Olympics."
The Ozzman - An Ozzy Osbourne impersonator who clearly is not trying to win the vote of any particular judge whose name contains the word 'Sharon.' He's unemployed and looking for work as a full-time Ozzy impersonator. Hmm, when I was out of work, I did things like go to the gym and mail out resumes. His first X comes from Sharon. She thinks he sounds nothing like Ozzy. I guess she should know. Piers disagrees, but only to get Mrs. Osbourne's ire, and he got it. The Ozzman gets three X's and is gone.
The Taubl Family - A family of nine that has been performing for about 10 years. The file onto the stage with violins, cellos and a harp. Sharon likens them to the von Trapp family from
The Sound of Music and that's what they perform, the theme to the movie. They're playing a very nice, melodic rendition of the--BUZZZZ!--they get X'd by Piers. I'm not totally against this. They're all wearing microphones, but no one has sung some 30 seconds into the performance. But then they sing, and they're very harmonious. Not spectacular, though. It kind of sounds like a vocal performance you'd hear at a school recital, but it's different. The dramatic moment comes when Piers admits he may have X'd them too early. They get three yes's from the judges and they're Vegas-bound.
The D.C. Cowboys - Ten sleeveless cowboys (think "Brokeback meets broadway", as their spokesman put it) who do a pretty good dance routine, complete with ten-gallon waving and butt shaking. Three yes's.
And again, we're in Chicago...
Kevin "Big K" Taylor - One of the most dangerous acts, he punches through slabs of concrete. He's going to break 1,000 pounds of cement that are on fire with his hands. These are individual stacks of six slabs of cement, with two taller stacks at the end. He's apparently broken some bones in his hands while trying this in the past, but here goes. OMG! This guy is crushing these cement slabs like, well, like butter while screaming louder than Steffi Graf. Meanwhile, his hands are on fire midway through the act. Ever the mom, Sharon actually gives him a No, saying she'd hate to see him get hurt on her watch. Hoff: "America wants to see you again. I just know it." Yup! We'll see Big K in Vegas. I'm hoping he shows up at the
Baby Borrowers house and teaches some anger management. By the way, he says his ultimate
AGT goal is to have a stack of bricks dropped on him that he will break with his fingers before they actually touch his body.
Chelena - A cervical cancer survivor, she can belt it out. No X's but Piers and Sharon advise her they've put through better singers than her, but they send her on to Vegas.
John Olshavsky aka Johnny O - he's been performing magic for most of his adult life. Funny, he doesn't look 19. He couldn't catch ping pong balls in his mouth (which isn't exactly magical) and quickly got X'd.
We see a series of quick clips of magic acts, including
Dan Stapleton, who appears to rip the head off of a dove. About half a dozen other magic acts come and go, none get the Vegas nod.
The Pendragons take the stage. Another magic act, or 'illusionists' as the judges are told. The male half of the act shows us his scar after an arrow accidentally went through his heart. Dude, next time just go with chocolates and a chick flick for the whole Valentine's effect. Truthfully, though, it's magic just that he's alive. So he jumps into a trunk, she locks it up, climbs on top and pulls a black cover over her and DAYAM! How'd they do that? He instantly appears in her place -- and she's in the trunk! They're headed to Vegas.
We see clips of what appears to be a painful series of tribute acts (impersonations) of everyone from Roy Orbison to Sammy Davis, Jr.
Rob Caudill taskes the stage as Rod Stewart. Sharon is dreading this. Blondes are not hacving more fun. He's X'd out to the street, as is
C.J. King, channeling Cyndi Lauper.
And then, Nebraskan
Joseph Hall has arrived as Elvis Presley. He's good. Real good. He's got the moves and the voice. Piers makes a good point that most impersonators of The King focus their act on Elvis around the years before his death. This guy does Elvis circa 1960. And Sharon is shamefully smitten by the 23-year-old. "I have shoes older than you," she says, "but I'd still like to try you on!" Well, apparently they have a U.K.-native
Puma concolor or two roaming around Chicago. Joseph is on to Vegas.
And that's it for Chicago. Next week, it's Atlanta and Dallas. -
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Watch Miss Pussykatt grind it out
Week Two of finding the nation's best talent. And, sadly, again in standard definition. Piers, Sharon and The Hoff are in L.A. with Jerry. The judges' picks move onto the next round in Las Vegas, all vying for a grand prize of $1 million and a Vegas contract. Victoria - a singing fairy (and part-time nanny) who sings in a three-and-a-half octave voice. Er, right. She is perhaps three and a half notes into When You Wish Upon a Star when Piers issues an 'X' with a buzzer that blows everyone's ears out. Then she's no'd out the door.Daniel Avila - He compares himself to Luciano Pavarotti, but sounds more like Chef Boyardee. Hoff howls like a dog. Gone.Polina Nikiforova - She (looks like a he with a mustache) and her mother playing ther keyboard. Polina does everything with a pair of cymbals but clap them together. Three quick X's.Eli Mattson - Inspirational story of a young man who's had some rough financial times. I'm hoping he does well. Sings Walking in Memphis and he's pretty good,...