We're back for another season and the first thing I notice is this show is not in high definition. Uh, NBC, 2008 called and it will see you now. This show takes place in a darn theater. I think you guys can dig up a few HD cameras. OK, I feel better.
The big news is that this year's winner wins $1 million and a gig in Las Vegas. That's big. Plus, we learn last year's winner, ventriloquist Terry Fator, has just signed a $100 million deal to perform in Vegas.
David Hasselhoff and host
Jerry Springer are back, and they're holding auditions in New York, Chicago and Los Angeles.
Bill Curlee aka "Serious Mysterious" - Not a bad Tom Jones impression, until he began singing. Instant X's from Piers, Hoff and the entire audience. Sharon, strangley, lets him finish. Did she think it was Ozzy? (vote: 3 no's)
Nick Afanasiev - the guy can just about lick his entire nose with his tongue. Would this work in Vegas? All X's.
The judges were modestly entertained by
Lady J and her prancing around the stage, and then X'd her out to the street.
And then a quick-fire series of ridiculous acts. OK, we get it. There better be some talent after the commercial.
Jonathan Arons - He seems promising, at least during his interview. At first I thought, 'dude, either play the instrument or dance, but not both.' But, you know what, he's not bad. And he had Sharon screaming. Three yes's, but can this hold up over the course of the series? Hmm.
Indiggo - Uh oh. These Romanian twin girls seemed really cute and ambitious. This
New York, New York rendition is awful. Wasn't their 75-year-old aunt singing on the subway platform last week? Again Sharon, letting this act finish. Apparently, she thinks she's on the set of
America's Got No Idea How to Sing. Piers: "You've got everything going for you except for your terrible voices." Zing! And then that clown puts them through to Vegas. (X's from Piers and David and then yes's from Piers and Sharon.)
Nuttin' But Stringz - This is kickin'! Two brothers playing violins, to rap music, no less. Something fresh and original. Straight through to Vegas.
David Martin - magic act. Only a few seconds, but we'll see them again. I'm a sucker for magic tricks.
Scott Land - an uncooked chicken rigged up to marionette strings. On to Vegas.
Plastic Musik - Banging plastic things onto drums. This passes as talent. They'll be in Vegas.
Jazmin - The quartet sing
The Bugle Boy of Company B. Not bad. Not bad at all. Only a few seconds worth, but they're on to Vegas.
Mary Bly, age 80 - she's a retired waitress. For 80 years old (not that I know what it's like to be 80), she's pretty energetic, but not good enough for the judges. Jerry keeps having to warn her to not go too close to the edge of the stage. Dude, she's retired, not blind.
Then we see a slew of no's - including an adorable accordion player.
Kaitlyn Maher - Now...she has arrived. She's finally here. The little 4-year-old that will tear through the hearts of the judges.
Sharon: "Are you from New York?"
Kaitlyn: "I'm from America"
I love it.
Somewhere Out There. Is she the cutest thing on God's green earth? Yes. Can she keep up with the song's melody? Yes. Can she sing in tune? Well, there was momen - - I mean, yes, yes, she did! If I said anything else, I'd have nightmares of dragons chasing me tonight. She's headed to Vegas.
Inside info: A friend of mine who attended this taping back in April tells me Kaitlyn not only sang the entire song, she did it
a cappella. The keyboard accompaniment was edited in after the show. Now
Commercial break. And suddenly we're watching auditions in Chicago.
Slippery Kittens - Nine mothers do a burlesque act. Extravagant costumes and a few tattoos thrown in for good measure. The audience, rightfully so, chanted "Vegas!" as soon as they took the stage.
Not a bad start for Chi-town.
Chay Vang - This guy invented his own guitar. It takes him forever to hook it up and tune it. And then blasts the audience out of its eardrums. Three quick X's.
Up next, in quick fashion: A storyteller, a singing Santa Claus, Judge Judy singing
Hallelujah, a brass band (who tells the audience they suck)...now we know why this is the second city. All going home.
Jonathan Burkin - a baton twirler. Hold your jokes, he's heard enough of them. A baton with flames on each end. Neat-o! And he's good! Two batons! The judges are big-time wowed. He's goin' to Vegas. This is a ready-made Vegas act.
See ya Chicago. Hello, La-La Land.
Derrick Barry - A man impersonating a woman impersonating a woman doing Britney Spears. Holy Oops I Did It Again, Batman! He looks
and sounds the part. Piers isn't buying it, though. Hoff doesn't know whether to sing along or ask for a date. But Derrick's going to Vegas.
Polina Volchek - Piers asks her if she's the best new act in America, she replies "could be". Could be is right. She performs some really good acrobatics while spinning hula hoops on her toes and everywhere else but her waist. Vegas, baby!
Sterling Silver - Eleven students doing a hip hop-style tap dance routine. We only see it for a few seconds, but really, really good. Really good. Go west, young lads and lasses!
Cafidia Stuart - Does a mean Whitney Houston. This girl's just 15. Here's a finalist, folks. I can feel it in me bones. To Vegas.
Sick Step - About a dozen guys doing a breakdance routine. On to Vegas. Again, only a few seconds, but a fun act to watch.
Now, apparently, we're in the dancing part of the show.
Dallas Dance Company - Nine dance teachers. They'll probably be good. Yikes! Triple X (no, I don't mean
Then some gothic wedding dance thing, a contortionist, a woman on roller skates. All X's, and X does not get the square. Is there another 4-year-old in the house?
Extreme Dance FX takes the stage. In step, great choreography with fast, Riverdance-style steps and high-speed tapping. Cool. Piers not liking it. He X'd them for their costumes? Oh, puhleez. Whatev. This was some hi-falutin' dancing. Then Piers comes around. And they're heading on to Vegas. I really like this group.
Neal E. Boyd - He's had a rough childhood and this could be a great, personal victory for him. Somehow I feel a big letdown coming. I don't know, I'm just sayin'. Here he comes. He's singing opera. Wow. He's good. Real good. No letdown. Stay in key, pal. Stay in key. Major goose bumps. He gets a standing O from the audience and the judges. Hoff declares Neal the frontrunner. Jerry: "In the two seasons I've been doing this show, I have not heard better." Wow. I'm looking forward to hearing him again. -
Want to see a few of the acts? Use our Online Video Guide...
Watch Derrick Barry's Brittany-esque performance
Watch little Kaitlyn Maher charm the judges
Check out Jonathan Burkin's baton-twirling act
We're back for another season and the first thing I notice is this show is not in high definition. Uh, NBC, 2008 called and it will see you now. This show takes place in a darn theater. I think you guys can dig up a few HD cameras. OK, I feel better.The big news is that this year's winner wins $1 million and a gig in Las Vegas. That's big. Plus, we learn last year's winner, ventriloquist Terry Fator, has just signed a $100 million deal to perform in Vegas.Piers Morgan, Sharon Osborne, David Hasselhoff and host Jerry Springer are back, and they're holding auditions in New York, Chicago and Los Angeles.Bill Curlee aka "Serious Mysterious" - Not a bad Tom Jones impression, until he began singing. Instant X's from Piers, Hoff and the entire audience. Sharon, strangley, lets him finish. Did she think it was Ozzy? (vote: 3 no's)Nick Afanasiev - the guy can just about lick his entire nose with his tongue. Would this work in Vegas? All X's.The judges were modestly entertained by Lady J and ...