Well, the other shoe finally dropped. After a season that, so far, has mostly favored the good auditions, Thursday's episode focused almost exclusively on the bad. Steven Tyler attributed the change to the city of Los Angeles, which he deduced is full of delusional people. Things got so bad that even J. Lo discovered her potty mouth. So, who was the worst of the worst? Let's find out.
Victoria Garrett, "Now Behold the Lamb"
The title of this Kirk Franklin religious tune perhaps should have been a warning. Victoria, who promised to knock the judges socks off, sang like a sheep being strangled. Steven, trying to be nice, said it was "not baaad." (Geddit?) He even went on to say she was sweet and angelic, which first drew laughs and then frustration from J. Lo and Randy. Victoria chalked her failure up to nerves and said not everybody can sing like J. Lo. In Victoria's case, that is most certainly true.
Tim Halperin, "She Will Be Loved"
One of the night's few golden ticket recipients, Tim confessed to having a major crush on J. Lo. In fact, he never took his eyes of Jennifer during his rendition of the Maroon 5 song. Randy noted that it felt like he and Steven weren't even there, and although Tim had a decent voice, Randy decided that he wasn't quite ready. Steven, however, thought there was enough talent to work with and said yes. J. Lo agreed that his voice would need to be stronger, but that he has a nice tone, which is most important for recording artists. We'll see if he improves in Hollywood.
He had barely any screen time, and although his voice had the possibility of being decent, it lacked any real depth. Or as J. Lo said, it didn't have any "balls underneath it." Then the judges said balls again and again as Idol censored them. Fun.
Isaac Rodriguez, "Build Me Up Buttercup" and Daniel Gomez, "I'll Be"
These best buddies came all the way to the auditions together so they would have in each other a support system. Isaac has dropped out of college, but his parents, who are also on hand to show support, don't know it. Daniel says he has a voice worthy of superstar status. One thing they both have in common: They absolutely suck at singing. Steven said Isaac "set the song on fire," to which Randy added "yeah, he burned it down." Then, Randy told Daniel he was relatively tone deaf. But they both aspire to continue singing, which Randy urged them never to do again.
Karen Rodriguez, "You Give Good Love"
Her hopes to become the first Latina winner of American Idol started with a MySpace audition, and she proved to have the goods in person as well. She nailed Whitney Houston, which is never an easy thing to do. J. Lo loved her control and Steven said she had hot, spitfire melody. Not sure what that means, but she gets a golden ticket.
Tynisha Roches, "My Way"
Wow. She came to the audition with her own microphone and started every sentence with "Ow!" She is, as you would expect, terrible, even though she has "three albums ready to be composed." When she refuses to listen to the judges' critiques, Randy leaves the room. And, of course, Tynisha gives chase, singing, "You're gonna love me!" She screams her way through a few more songs before Randy wrestles the mic away from her and security escorts her out.
Heidi Khzam, "Superwoman"
Can she sing? Maybe. We heard a few bars, and they were OK enough. But most of her audition was a belly dance for Steven. He and Randy eagerly passed her through, with Randy calling her, "the best we've ever seen." Ugh.
Matt "Big Stats" Frankel
Dressed in a business suit, this "freelance music producer" and founder of Matt Scott Frankel Productions failed to impress with both his rapping and his singing, which still pretty much sounded like rapping. Matt claims his company released a compliation album that features Chaka Kahn, but who cares, really? He gets the boot, and claims that Randy is just jealous that he's not related to Michael or Samuel L. Jackson. Right, that's it.
Mark Gutierrez and Aaron Gutierrez, "Lean on Me"
These two brothers were a breath of fresh air compared to most of the crap that preceded them. Their voices complemented each other very well, and they were strong enough that the judges didn't even require them to sing solo. Steven even went as far as to say their duet was "god-like." He's obviously a fan of hyperbole, so here's some: This was the worst episode of Idol ever.
Cooper Robinson, "I Feel Good"
He looks like James Brown after about 75 cans of Red Bull. After giving Randy detailed directions to his house on the plantation in Arkansas, he spent the rest of his time barking out some of Brown's songs and rolling around on the floor. Ryan called him the "human tornado," and Cooper got so wound up that he couldn't complete his sentences. Mercifully, he was the last of the night.
So, what did you think of this wholly unimpressive hour of auditions? Were you amused by the bad singers or frustrated at their lameness?
Well, the other shoe finally dropped. After a season that, so far, has mostly favored the good auditions, Thursday's episode focused almost exclusively on the bad. Steven Tyler attributed the change to the city of Los Angeles, which he deduced is full of delusional people. Things got so bad that even J. Lo discovered her potty mouth. So, who was the worst of the worst? Let's find out...