Yo peeps! The finale is here! Let's cut right to the chase. I'm Erin Fox. I'm live blogging the finale. Enjoy.
The two David's face each other in all white in the first shot of the show. It's like a really angelic version of
Face Off. How are they not cracking up when Ryan refers to the competition as reaching "critical mass?"
Aww...Ryan gets to make his "grand entrance" down the staircase just like a deb at her coming out.
The audience shots include Holly Robinson Pete and Lori Laughlin. That's the best they could come up with?
Whoa... 97.5 million votes: One David got 56 percent, the other 44 percent. Hmm... what could it mean? I have no idea.
Who is Mikahlah Gordon? Why is she acting like a porn star in Kansas City?
Matt Rogers is muffled by thousands of blonde Archuleta fans in Salt Lake City.
The Top Ten are back... singing "Get Ready, Cuz Here I Come," and are also in white, like a big Brady Bunch special! They are backed up by what I'm sure is a gaggle of
So You Think You Can Dance peeps.
They all sound fantastic and have a lot of energy... but look at Archie all out of sync. Nervous, you think? Very nice Top 10... even you, Amanda.
David Cook starts singing in a darker outfit and Archie joins him to sing, "Hero," and their harmony is wicked! How the hell do they have time to rehearse this all?
Hold the phone, I forgot to say that the camera just flashed to Janice "Plastic more than flesh" Dickinson. Yikes!
These two singing together sound great. Why can't they both win? Never mind, I still am all about Cook!
Ugh, Fox is pimping
The Love Guru, which looks so lame. I love you Mike Meyers, but this is beyond ridic. The Davids actually go to the set and meet "Guru Pitka" who is just creepy looking Mike Meyers in his guru getup. It's painfully unfunny. BOO product placement! OMG, they actually bring him onstage. His "chant" is actually "Mariska Hargitay"... you know, Benson from
Law & Order: SVU.
Syesha is back! She looks so hot! Go girl! She's singing with Seal! OMG, this is a match made in heaven. How stoked is she right now! The do a nice job together, but they're making Syesha sing too low. What's up with the white? Is that normal during the finale show?
Jason is singing "Hallelujah" which was by far his best performance earlier this year.
Thank God, my grilled cheese just arrived... I'm starving.
Oh look, one more Ford commercial for the road. Ugh. But, it's nice to see the gang all back together, having fun.
Whoa... Ryan just gave the Davids Ford Hybrids.
Now the ladies, all dressed in vampy red, sing "She Works Hard for the Money." Amanda looks like she'd rather be having a root canal. Ha. Yay! There's Carly sounding amazing as always.
Donna Summer is introduced to sing her new single. Please don't fall down the stairs, Donna. That would ruin the buzz of the night. The ladies are singing back up for Donna. Pretty cool. LOL... I can't get over Amanda's sour puss.
OMG, Paula's boobs are going to knock out Syesha so she can sing, "Last Dance," with Donna. Keep those girls in check, P!
Carly and Michael sing "The Letter" together and sound awesome together. Not sure what Carly is wearing... will it deflect bullets? Improve acoustics? Michael looks fab.
Yes! Jimmy Kimmel is back with some choice barbs for Sanjaya, Ryan, Simon, etc... But they actually put Simon's disses set to "Pop Goes the Weasel." It's quite amusing.
The Top Six dudes sing "Summer of '69" which is awesome with Michael, but hilariously bad with David H., Chikezie and Jason. Cook and Archie join in to sing "Heaven" and then Bryan Adams plays a song. I'm having some flashbacks to the '90s right now. They all sound great though. Well played all.
David Cook is singing "Sharped Dressed Man" with ZZ freakin' Top! How aweseome is that? Paula is rockin' out, while Simon enjoys the view of her boobs. But seriously, that was an awesome performance and David is having the time of his life. Aww.
David's music teacher is not listening to Mikahlah, but I don't blame her.
Heh. Graham Nash and Brooke White sing "Teach Your Children." This is the perfect song for her, and love that Nash is with her! I miss Brooke suddenly. I'm sappy. And so is this song. Brooke is all hippied out without her shoes during the song. Kinda gross with such a fancy dress on, right? My dog just barked in approval.
Mega-tween-idol-sensations The Jonas Brothers perform to the screams of many young ladies in the audience, and most of the tweens watching across America. Can you hear the squealing? Yep, there it is. Where are my ear plugs? Fine, I guess they're entertaining and if I was a tween I'd probably love them.
Ryan just brought "Pat" - a random audience member/Grandma - up on stage and bumps hips with her. Ryan... has it gotten that bad? Leave Pat alone.
Now we get to see a tape of the worst auditions. There's some classics in there. Look Renaldo! In his pimp outfit and singing "Best Friend Forever." OMG, the brought him to the finale and even brought in USC cheerleaders and the band to help him out. Wow, this could be a new low for
AI. I know it's supposed to be funny, and it is... but a whole number around this dude? There must be a USC grad on the staff. Oh no, here comes Paula's boobs and whole body on stage! Just in the nick of time... a commercial break.
One Republic performs "Apologize," and the crowd loves it. They really love it when Archie joins in. This is actually a good song for him to sing. He should have sung it last night instead of doing "Imagine" again. Archie looks like he's about to have an orgasm... he's definitely having an amazing time.
Now Jordin in a toddler's party dress from outer space performs a song. She sounds fantastic. I'm glad her voice is doing well after all the reports of it being so damaged.
Wow, we get a Gladys Knight retro video and her "Pips" are Ben Stiller, Jack Black and Robert Downey, Jr. It's pretty awesome watching them all try not to crack up and to actually do the choreography without falling over. At one point, Jack is pants-less. Not sure how that happened. Yet, I laugh.
Ugh, Carrie Underwood. I know many of you are big fans - so I must warn you - I hate country music. But what I hate more than country is Carrie Underwood's wardrobe. I have never seen her in a decent outfit while performing. She's beautiful and needs a decent stylist.
Go Fug Yourself will have a field day with this one... just like the many other bad outfits.
OMG (insert valley girl tone), Ashley Tisdale is in the House! I bet she wanted to perform and they laughed at her.
The Top 12 are back to sing the George Michael medley starting with "Faith," and I see Kristy Lee is sporting her gaudy engagement ring. Congrats to her. Why does Brooke wear such conservative clothes? She looks classy, but it borders on boring. Prudish. She's only 24! Anyhoo, back to the singing. Or lack there of... I'm talking to you Amanda! She slurs her way through her solo. So bad.
Now the guys are on stage singing "Fater Figure" which sounds great and then transition into a much more upbeat "Freedom." Sing it guys! That was awesome... and now George himself comes out on stage! This is the big name for the finale? I guess it's OK, but I was expecting someone ginormous. He looks like a guido from a Palm Desert resort with those glasses. He sings the most bland, long and pointless song ever! Boo!
Finally! The Davids are on stage and ready to hear the results. Randy (what the hell is he wearing) says their both winners, Paula basically says the same, and Simon actually apologizes to David Cook for being too hard and almost disrespectful toward him. Hell just froze over.
And the winner is... David Cook! WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
I'm so thrilled, you have no idea. I really think Archie pulled it off last night, but America came through! David Cook is completely overwhelmed and in tears, but pulls it together. He's so awesome.
David sings "Time of My Life" and I'm choked up like a big wuss because I keep thinking about his sick brother watching this. How can he be singing right now... remembering the words? Oh man, now his brother is in the audience crying his eyes out. The fireworks spark, and the crowd is going nuts. David A.'s dad must be ready to hurt someone. Kidding of course (sorta). Here comes the confetti! Now it feels like a finale!
Well done, David! Can't wait to meet you next week in our studio!
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Yo peeps The finale is here Lets cut right to the chase Im Erin Fox Im live blogging the finale EnjoyThe two Davids face each other in all white in the first shot of the show Its like a really angelic version of Face Off How are they not cracking up when Ryan refers to the competition as reaching critical massAwwRyan gets to make his grand entrance down the staircase just like a deb at her coming out The audience shots include Holly Robinson Peete and Lori Loughlin Thats the best they could come up withWhoa 975 million votes One David got 56 percent the other 44 percent Hmm what could it mean I have no ideaWho is Mikahlah Gordon Why is she acting like a porn star in Kansas CityMatt Rogers is muffled by thousands of blonde Archuleta fans in Salt Lake City The Top 12 are back singing Get Ready Cuz Here I Come and are also in white like a big Brady Bunch special They are backed up by what Im sure is a gaggle of So You Think You Can Dance
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