Word of the day:
Overwhell. No, not
We've arrived in Birmingham - the home of
Taylor Hicks and
Ruben Studdard. Frankly, I haven't seen much of any of them over the past year. Now 11,000 potential
American Idols await their fates.
Please, someone, tell me what was up with
Ms. Abdul? She was definitely on something. She was up, she was down, and that was only during day one. She didn't even bother to show up for day two.
Another night full of many wastes-of-time and only 20 make it to Hollywood. (Thank
I was terrified when the woman who uttered the word "hisself" was sent to Hollywood. Evidently, correct grammar is not a necessary attribute of an
American Idol. Jamie Lynn Ward, aka the
Blue-eyed Bombshell, had a boob job and a nose job and couldn't have been 20 years old. Though after hearing her life story, she deserves whatever happiness she can find. Her father shot her step-mom, no mention of whether he killed her or not, after which he shot and paralyzed himself, pardon me,
hisself. (And why is he not in jail?) I did think she had a pretty voice, however tame. Did anyone else notice that not only were the knees of her jeans missing, but there was a tear in the side hip where her flesh was signaling through? Jamie and her exposed skin made it through to Hollywood. My prediction: she's ousted in the first two weeks and back to caring for daddy.
The two best singers in Birmingham were Chris Sligh and Tatiana McConnico. OK, Bernard Williams was good, too.
Tatiana McConnico is a 17-year-old wunderkind who came off with a remarkable maturity for her young age. She attends a performing arts high school, and it showed as soon as she opened her mouth. She was very professional and sang, "Never Loved a Man the Way I Love You." I always worry when these girls pick singers like Aretha and Christina to audition with, but Tats won the right in Alabama.
Randy offered that Tatiana's "might be the best voice he's (sic) gonna hear in Birmingham." And I agree. She's young, has a cute look and could lay it down.
Bernard Williams II was good looking but needed some dental work done. I figured, since Erica Skye was not sent to Hollywood, and she was in school to be a dental hygienist, perhaps she could do the work for him. He unfortunately chose "Rock with You," which is a lousy song for an audition, if you ask me, but he actually sounded pretty darn good. Simon said he was "very good," but Paula thought he was off key. I just have one question:
Was she high? Bernard looked to Randy to save him by calling him "dawg." Randy, of course, responding to that term like dog to
Pavlov's bell, gave him the second
yes to send him through to Hollywood.
Meanwhile, Chris Sligh, another candidate for a haircut by a sassy L.A. stylist, (remember Castro?) had a unique look, but had the pipes to send him on through. He sang Seal's "Kiss from a Rose," a rather difficult tune to sing, and sang it well. It was a good choice for him. He's no Sundance Head, but he's got something. Perhaps we can get the trainers from
The Biggest Loser to come on and get these boys into a manageable weight. Chris had another thing going for him; he was genuinely funny. When asked why he wanted to audition, he said, "I want to make
David Hasselhoff cry," referring to the tear in the eye of the beholder after Taylor Hicks won last year. His after-audition chat included the line, "Paula crumbled in my chubby little hands."
Victoria Watson, of the Crystal Gayle hair, is worth mentioning only because I think she has had the best response to why she was auditioning, saying that she thought she would be a "good role model and wanted to touch people's hearts" with her music. The judges, Simon and Randy, the only two present at this audition, saw her as a very nice person, but a lousy singer. Too bad she couldn't pull off the Josh Groban song she chose.
OK, so those were the good. The bad and the ugly were definitely in town. We had Margaret Fowler who was 26, 33 or 50. I would have guessed 56, but who's counting? She was wearing a shocking yellow outfit she referred to as her "frilly look to go with my golden ticket," which she was never going to get in this lifetime. Randy did beat-box to her rendition of a song that was unrecognizable in this universe. Lakia Hill had overly-long nails that were in line with the fact that listening to her sing was like hearing nails dragged down a chalkboard. Oh, you all remember that sound! Simon's response to her audition was, "What the hell was that?"
The one I would have voted "yes" for was Team Nicole. I thought she could sing, but Simon and Randy agreed she was too nasally and not ready. I thought she was better than a few contestants they put through, but maybe she'll be back next year. My only worry about her was that she called
Bonnie Raitt "Bonnie Ray-itt." Ouch. She had a pretty mature voice for a 17-year-old. Simon thought she was old-fashioned. I'll bet he is, (fortune cookie).
I'm grateful this show was only one hour. I can't wait to hear all the good singers side by side and be rid of the jokes that show up. I understand that people just want to be on TV and will do anything to get there. But the ones who actually think they are good and just completely suck, where do they get this? It's painful to watch and I think the show would benefit from cutting down the terrible and ridiculous and just showing us the good stuff all along. Good TV doesn't have to include people making complete fools of themselves. But that's just one person's opinion.
And so we're off to Hollywood, or the Rose Bowl, to be more specific.
American Idol ends up in L.A. See you later!
Word of the day: Overwhell. No, not overwhelm, just overwhell
.Weve arrived in Birmingham the home of Bo Bice, Taylor Hicks and Ruben Studdard. Frankly, I havent seen much of any of them over the past year. Now 11,000 potential American Idols await their fates. Please, someone, tell me what was up with Ms. Abdul? She was definitely on something. She was up, she was down, and that was only during day one. She didnt even bother to show up for day two. Another night full of many wastes-of-time and only 20 make it to Hollywood. (Thank God, or Simon?)I was terrified when the woman who uttered the word hisself was sent to Hollywood. Evidently, correct grammar is not a necessary attribute of an American Idol. Jamie Lynn Ward, aka the Blue-eyed Bombshell, had a boob job and a nose job and couldnt have been 20 years old. Though after hearing her life story, she deserves whatever happiness she can find. Her father shot her step-mom, no mention ...