Ryan helped raise so much money last week that he didn't feel the need to wear a tie nor to shave. Say what you want about the commercialization of music that
American Idol perpetuates, but those crazy folks got us all to donate $70 million ("That's seven zeros," Ryan pointed out) to make the world a better place - and for that I give them kudos.
Who's in the house? Antonella "Girls Gone Wild" Barba's in the house! Anyone else in the house? Gina "I don't care what you say she's still a rock star to me" Glocksen's in the house!
Phil chose "Blaze of Glory" and wanted to sing it into his comb. He was the only Idol who seemed to have the vaguest idea who Bon Jovi were. Randy was jazzed because he recorded this song for the Bon J and said it was Phil's "best performance ever on the show." Paula also swooned, saying it was the "best opening all season long." Mr. Ornery "thought it was OK." And likened Phil to a "bad actor playing a role" and would like to send Phil home. But it was good. But, was it good enough? Simon, Paula and Randy fought over the truth, while Phil said he knows who butters his bread, and it's not the judges.
Jordin told Jon, "My mom got me into y'all," and I think that was maybe
not the best way to start out with the Bon J. She chose, for reasons which escaped me, "Livin' on a Prayer," whining, "His songs are hard to sing." Is that because J Bon J writes songs with fewer than five notes? I enjoyed her Gina-influenced red streaks but not the fact that the song was way too low for her. Urgh - not my favorite Bon Jordin performance. Though she still has a killer voice, Randy said it was "very interesting for me thought the verses were a little rough." (She agreed!) Paula said: "You went for it even knowing it was out of your range." (Bon Jordin agreed again!) Simon had this to add, "First of all, the look - it was like something out of
The Addams family." He continued that it was "verging on shrieking at times." (She knew it was not her week but we still love her.)
LaKisha wouldn't sit down with RyRy because she wanted the camera to get her good side. Which is fine because the sooner we get the Q&A over with, the sooner we can get to LaKiki singing. She chose "This Ain't a Love Song," which J Bon J told her, "Oh, but it
is a love song." [Sigh] Does he really think he needs to explain these things? He was psyched because it's a soul song, too and so we asked LaKisha to simply, "Bring it, sister." And in the end, LaKeeks actually brought it. Key changes always impress people - a show-stopper. The girl is back in the game!!!! Randy said, "You sold me" and "you blew that out the box - LaKisha's back!" He threw in some hand gestures for good measure. Paula rejoiced that the "low part of your voice is money in your pocket," and therefore Paula's pockets, and Simon's and Randy's, etc. Simon declared: "I actually could kiss you after that - on the lips," and he did. "You were so good!"
RyRy, feeling left out, managed: "The image of your [LaKisha's]lipstick on his [Simon's] lips is priceless." Simon wasn't finished. He told the Kikster, "You rose to the challenge and absolutely nailed it and I am so glad you're back - and nice lips." Boy, did she need that performance! Good job, Keeks!
First, Blake, you give love a bad name. (Kidding, that's just the song he sang.) J Bon J showed a smidge of concern over The Blak-i-nator's choice, calling it an "adventurous rendition." He conceded that if he could sell his interpretation of the song that has been long-loved by Bon J fans through the ages, then mazel tov to him. Second, Blake dyed the heck out of his hair - possibly a nod to Clay Aiken's tribute to Bryan Ferry? He started by beat-boxing a record getting put on the turntable. Beat boxing to Bon J, hmm...? Very interesting. However, in the end I thought he did a nice job contemporizing a '90s rock song. It felt like he decided to just throw it out there. Randy gave him an "award for most original song on
Idol ever." Paula said, "You put yourself out there - amazing - this was your night." And then she said that Simon's mom was loving it. But when they panned to this alleged mother of The Ornery One, it was two young girls, so not sure what that meant. Simon gave him 50/50 odds for the audience loving/hating it, but said it was the "right thing to do." He called Blake a "brave young man" who took a "massive risk."
Ryan, with the Q&A, said, "I'm here with Justin Timberlake!" Then he let us know it was a joke, it was only Chris. He asked what Chris thinks of when he's on stage. Chris took a cue from Cyndi Lauper and answered, "JT look-alikes just wanna have fun!" But he's really "Wanted, Dead or Alive." J Bon J warned us there's a blue note that must be found - No. One. Move! It's found in the "lyrical content" and is "more sad than glorious." If he (meaning Chris) "can sell that to America, he'll be here next week." I found it to be a very good choice, he really got to sing this song. It made me actually like the Bon J. (Linda, how could you not love this kid - Chris, that is, not the Bon J? You just don't want him dating one of your daughters!) Randy was "worried about these songs," admitting he didn't think any of the kids could handle them, and if Gina were there she would've knocked it out the house. Paula said, "this is turning out to be a great night," meaning, "Are we done yet?" Simon, in that way that he has, said, "You did as much as you could do with this song," but doubted it was enough to keep him around for the next go. I thought Chris looked superimposed on the screen next to Ryan. He's a sizable boy.
Melinda! She told J Bon J she's "so bad at rock" and he said, "I can teach you how to rock," and I think he meant it in a different way because he had a gleam in his eye, or maybe it was hair gel. She chose a new song that no one would know so we couldn't judge her on interpretation. It was called "Have a Nice Day," and she sang it like she didn't want any of us to. J Bon J was happy because she brought some soul to the song that it miserably lacked due to his Bon Joviness. He told her to "take it to church," which was a good suggestion because Melinda said, "OK, I like church." Then he said, "You just joined the band!" He hugged Melinda. And I said, "This girl can sing anything!!!!" And I mean anything! I want to go to the Church of Melinda! Can I get a witness? Randy said she brought a little Tina Turner attitude. Paula was like, "Game on!" Simon "totally endorsed what Randy said" and added that "vocally it was in a different league to everyone else."
So we were all warm and cozy, and then Bush and the Mrs. showed up. (Rupert must have friends in some pretty lofty places). Bush thanked us for raising so much money and wondered why more people voted for
Idol last week than actually participated in voting for the presidential election. But he had his answer: It was because Bono was there.
Last week I was ready to send LaKeeks home but she's gonna get great votes for this performance. I hate predictions. I am so bad at them. However, if I must, and I feel my arm being twisted, Phil and, I hate to say it, Chris must go.
Must sleep. Until manana, mes amis.
Ryan helped raise so much money last week that he didn't feel the need to wear a tie
nor to shave. Say what you want about the commercialization of music that American Idol perpetuates, but those crazy folks got us all to donate $70 million ("That's seven zeros," Ryan pointed out) to make the world a better place and for that I give them kudos.Whos in the house? Antonella Girls Gone Wild Barbas in the house! Anyone else in the house? Gina I dont care what you say shes still a rock star to me Glocksens in the house!Phil chose "Blaze of Glory" and wanted to sing it into his comb. He was the only Idol who seemed to have the vaguest idea who Bon Jovi were. Randy was jazzed because he recorded this song for the Bon J and said it was Phils best performance ever on the show. Paula also swooned, saying it was the best opening all season long. Mr. Ornery thought it was OK. And likened...