Before I give away too much for those of you who haven't watched the results show and haven't heard the news - and obviously live in a vacuum, because this news will be everywhere - let's just say that Ryan walked past the Idols as he does every Wednesday and looked at Sanjy when he asked the fateful question, "Is your favorite safe?"
But first, Simon and the "eye-roll" warranted commentary from he, himself. He broke his rule never to discuss press frenzies, not wanting to be thought of as
that guy who finds tragedy worth ridiculing. And my how they went on about it. They spent more time explaining what actually happened on the show last night than they did making any intelligible or coherent comment the night before about the VT tragedy. Ryan told Simon that if he did less talking and more listening, we would not have to spend so much time reviewing the tapes to see what really happened.
Ryan announced the kids would sing "I'm Alright" and I thought he meant the "I'm Alright, don't nobody worry 'bout me," Kenny Loggins tune made famous in
Caddyshack. I was seriously worried. Thank God he meant a completely different song I have never heard. However, and none of you are allowed to hold this against me, I actually didn't mind the kids' sing-along this week. When there were less mouths to listen to, I thought it actually worked all right. The harmonies were nice, nothing too tricky, but they did sound good together.
Then we had to watch them talk about all the music they are listening to these days. Ho-hum. Melinda said she was listening to some gospel, because she had to "get her Jesus on."
Then they made us sit through Fergie, and why? Can we talk for a moment about her accessory choices? What were those huge things on her arm? And what was up with the top that shouted "maternity wear"? I found myself waiting for her to take a
Heather Mills fall right off those 5" heels. It's not that she doesn't have a decent voice, but the song seemed so meaningless. I did not know what it was about. It was nonsensical.
I caught the last few seconds of the shameless Ford commercial with the kids singing "I Ran." And I thought, are they singing a Flock of Seagulls song? And sure enough, they were. What will they think of next, a-ha?
Then on to the self-promoting bull-donkey. It is really nice to have your own show so you can advertise your other shows on it. Then the flash of: POP. MUSIC. HISTORY. Very self-aggrandizing, if you ask me.
Finally, the split
Sanjaya to the (stage) right,
Phil to the left - interesting.
Jordin to the left,
LaKisha to the right - hmmmm.
Chris to the left and
Blake to the right - wow!
Melinda stuck in the middle with Ryan. He quickly told Melinda she was safe, like we had to worry about that. Then he made her look at both groups and decide who was going home. Jordin mouthed the words "I'm sorry," but to whom? To Melinda? Or to the losers on the right side of the stage? Melinda stood mortified with
Sophie's Choice in her hands and beautifully chose not to choose and sat on the floor in the middle of the stage. Good move, sister.
Ryan told her she couldn't sit there and she should join the kids on the left of the stage, which meant they were all safe. Thank goodness - I clapped because even Chris was safe.
Ryan tortured the bottom three by asking the judges what they thought. Randy was surprised by Blake's presence in the bottom three, but he was lousy this week, so I was not surprised. After Paula gushed with pride over the losers, she said, "I understand why two of you are up there," which is rude for her. Simon offered, "I'm beginning to sense something here," and obviously thought Blake and LaKisha would be safe. Well, we wouldn't find out for another 20 minutes!
Ryan made a joke stretching out
American Idol with his hands as he said it. Then we had to watch the kids go to DreamWorks to watch
Shrek the Third. Really? This is just another commercial within the show - talk about product placement. It's gross. The only interesting part of that segment was when Ryan spoke to Antonio Banderas in the audience and, having no clue what Mr. Banderas had just said, Ryan responded, "That's exciting!"
Finally, the week's mentor,
Martina McBride came out to sing. Although she was wearing far too much blush and was sporting an extremely non-country-music-looking outfit, she really impressed me. She sang the words "dream it, anyway" directly to the Idols and connected with them and the audience. The song was inspirational and I believed her, which is more than I can say for some of the other performers this season.
OK, congrats to anyone who made it this far, and let me stretch out the recap as much as Ryan stretched out the entire show. Ryan, Martina and her daughter Emma sent Blake straight back to the safety zone while Sanjy and LaKiki grasped each other not knowing the verdict. Drumroll please 38 million voters agreed: "Sanjaya, you're going home." Can I get a witness? And I started to just cheer and then I thought, "how completely mean, Paula. I mean, here's this 17-year-old kid who's worked just as hard." And then I stopped myself and decided I wasn't that nice! Finally! America, you heard my pleas! Sanjaya closed the show for the last time and sang, "Let's give 'em something to talk about other than hair!"
Now we've got a serious competition!
Next week, no mentor, per se, but two days of
Idol Gives Back. So, enjoy the rest of the week, because next week is gonna be interesting!
Before I give away too much for those of you who havent watched the results show and havent heard the news and obviously live in a vacuum, because this news will be everywhere let's just say that Ryan walked past the Idols as he does every Wednesday and looked at Sanjy when he asked the fateful question, Is your favorite safe?But first, Simon and the eye-roll warranted commentary from he, himself. He broke his rule never to discuss press frenzies, not wanting to be thought of as that guy who finds tragedy worth ridiculing. And my how they went on about it. They spent more time explaining what actually happened on the show last night than they did making any intelligible or coherent comment the night before about the VT tragedy. Ryan told Simon that if he did less talking and more listening, we would not have to spend so much time reviewing the tapes to see what really happened.Ryan announced the kids would sing Im Alright...