"You're cursed, Jack. Everything you touch, one way or another, ends up dead." And you thought
your girlfriend's dad was tough. I wish I hadn't seen William Devane's name in the opening credits, simply because there are so few good surprises left in the world. A sudden appearance by the guy we last saw plummeting off a cliff would have made for an especially fun one. Still, his overprotective father turned stone-cold badass routine pretty much rocked my world because, hey, if we don't soon crank up Jack's self-loathing to "nothing left to lose," how are we gonna make the last three hours of the day go all crazy kablooey? Speaking of which, I'm guessing that's what the whole Morris-Chloe breakup is about. It's taken all damn day, but surely a broken heart is what it's gonna take to revive the surly, snarky, surprisingly-handy-with-an-automatic-weapon CTU tech we all know and love. I know you're in there, Chloe! I know what they did to you - dyed your hair, softened your hard edges, gave you a lackluster story line about Morris' drinking problem - and I promise you, I'm going to make them pay. Just give me some sign you can hear me. And on that note, what does it say about me that I've never liked Audrey more than when she's a babbling loony? Hospital gown, torture marks, a thousand-yard stare and the occasional critical piece of intel - "Bloomfield!" - it's all very endearing. Plus, you have to feel for a girl whose romantic psychological breakthrough gets interrupted by a blow torch-wielding SWAT team. It's prom night all over again.
Just in case you forgot, we do still have the small matter of a potential World War III brewing - China's got the magic Russian nuke component, Russia's none too happy about it, and we're doing the best song-and-dance we can to keep things calm. The big question: Who's Cheng going to find with the "necessary expertise" to fix the damaged circuit board? Perhaps a lovelorn computer dynamo with a head for gadgets and a flair for sarcasm? I hope so, because this touchy-feely routine over at CTU is ringing a little false for me at the moment. I know I should be in Doyle's corner by now, what with brow-beating Nadia into
doing her job and letting Jack spoon him unconscious, but it's tough to feel much for all these newbies. Aside from Chloe, Buchanan was really our last familiar face from the CTU of old. Thanks a lot,
Meanwhile over at the White House, I'm incredibly relieved that Daniels discovered the real deal with Lisa Miller so quickly, if only because that means we're spared from watching him whisper sweet nothings in her ear. (I've been taking industrial strength showers since last week, and I still can't get the ick off me.) As for her other boyfriend, do you think Michael Shanks has it in his contract that he must appear in some state of undress at all times? Looks like Mr.
SG-1's been working out.
Youre cursed Jack Everything you touch one way or another ends up dead And you thought your girlfriends dad was tough I wish I hadnt seen William Devanes name in the opening credits simply because there are so few good surprises left in the world A sudden appearance by the guy we last saw plummeting off a cliff would have made for an especially fun one Still his overprotective father turned stone-cold badass routine pretty much rocked my world because hey if we dont soon crank up Jacks self-loathing to nothing left to lose how are we gonna make the last three hours of the day go all crazy kablooey Speaking of which Im guessing thats what the whole Morris-Chloe breakup is about Its taken all damn day but surely a broken heart is what its gonna take to revive the surly snarky surprisingly-handy-with-an-automatic-weapon CTU tech we all know and love I know youre in there Chloe I know what they did to you dyed your hair softened your ha