Do soap operas really rot your brain like our parents warned us? A study published in the Southern Medical Journal reveals that elderly female soap fans ranked poorly in tests of memory, attention and mental quickness. However, that doesn't mean these viewers' love of daytime TV caused their cognitive decline; it might only be a symptom. Researchers suspect that seniors whose minds are already impaired may just find it easier to watch shows that involve "parasocial relationships," meaning that viewers at home feel a daily emotional connection to the people on screen.

Hmm... well, thanks to my job, I spend several hours a day watching my soaps, and this reporter's mind remains razor sharp and attentive, thank you very much. That said, I will concede that I feel emotionally connected to Days of our Lives' Austin Peck — especially whenever he takes off his shirt, which is often, god love him. Maybe those scientists should quit scrutinizing poor little old ladies and study Austin's pecs instead! I'm just saying.