SNL Opener: Fey Flies, Phelps Sinks

Tina Fey and Michael Phelps by Dana Edelson/NBC
For the first five minutes,
Saturday Night Live was brilliant on opening night, living up to our wildest expectations by bringing back Tina Fey (how could they not) to skewer political-media darling Sarah Palin. She nailed the look (those glasses, the blinding red dress), the pinched
Fargo voice, the poses (including a hilarious moment in which she toted an invisible shotgun). But where was hunky hubby Todd, preggers daughter Bristol and her boyfriend Levi, and the rest of the clan? They can wait for later satire. The genius of
SNL's opening sketch was in giving us Sarah alongside Hillary Clinton, as always played to devastating effect by Amy Poehler (noticeably expecting but game as ever).
It was billed as a "nonpartisan" message to address the issue of sexism as it affects the campaign- to which Hillary noted, "an issue that I am frankly surprised to hear people suddenly care about." Touché. While Fey's Sarah preened, Poehler's Hillary cringed and popped her eyes and exploded into fits of hysterical laughter as she considered the absurdity of standing alongside this political newbie who's vaulted past her in the presidential race. As faux Sarah declared that her ascension proves that "anybody can be president" (Hillary muttering "anybody" in disbelief) if only they want it enough, faux Hillary exploded that yeah, that was her problem all along: "I probably should have wanted it more!" And screams with laughter. As did the audience.
Their mini-debate was priceless. Hillary on foreign policy, while Sarah chirps: "I can see Russia from my house." Hillary on global warming, and Sarah coos that it's a matter of "God just huggin' us closer." The jokes built and built, culminating in Hillary's salvo to the fawning press corps to get over their infatuation and treat this new arrival as roughly as they did her: "I invite the media to grow a pair. And if you can't, I will lend you mine." End scene, triumphantly.
And guess what, folks? Those were the last genuine laughs for the entire night. From there, the show went downhill fast and stayed there. Clearly the night should have been a Palin-fest, not a Phelps-fest. I have nothing but admiration for Michael Phelps' Olympic triumph, but if
SNL wanted to honor him, they should have let him do a gracious cameo (even a surprise cameo), but by asking him to be the guest host, they did him and the viewers no favors. Maybe they should have built him a pool at 30 Rock. They sure didn't write him anything funny.
It's ironic, I suppose, that someone who can calibrate his swimming within fractions of sections to win his medals is so utterly devoid of comic timing, swallowing his words and landing on feeble punch lines with the grace of an elephant. I don't blame him, though. I blame the writers, the director, all of whom had no idea what would become this legend most. I'm glad he had his mom in the audience to cheer him on. By the end of the night, I began to dread his reappearance the same way I shuddered every time a new song would start in this summer's
Mamma Mia movie (which would have been a better subject for parody than half the lousy random sketches this week).
Still, by this time next week few will remember the tragedy of Michael Phelps. We'll all be lining up again to watch what they'll be doing live from New York, to see if they can coax Tina Fey back on a weekly basis to do her Sarah bit (although I'd like to see Kristen Wiig's take on her if Tina gets too busy), to see if the show can top this week's opening sketch, to watch as this incredible political season is taken on and its players taken down by masters of satire. It's when
SNL strays from politics, however, that the show is less live than DOA, and that's a pity.