Quick: Who are more pathetic, the Gomer wannabes on Fox's excruciating and earsplitting Boot Camp or the sleazoids yoked together in futile hopes of romance on UPN's depressingly tacky Chains of Love? This is a trick question. There's no right answer because to have an answer one would have to care about the participants or the show. And while it's silly for CBS to sue Boot Camp for ripping off every aspect of Survivor — as if that's never happened before on TV — I understand the impulse to try to hold these latest cheesy "reality" contenders accountable for something. They're a criminal waste of time.