Kid Nation Hardly a Bonanza

• Sep 20, 2007 03:36 AM ET
• by Matt Roush

Welcome to "Survivor Jr." Or maybe we should call it "Little Brother." Better yet: "Oh Brother." One thing I wouldn't call CBS' Kid Nation is appointment TV. At least not on the basis of the opening episode, which treated me to the sight of a homesick 8-year-old boy having a panic attack. I wanted to give little Jimmy a hug when he snuffled, "I'm only 8. I'm a third-grader. I think I'm too young to be doing this," a sentiment he later clarified by saying, "I want to be older to do this."

You know, Jimmy, when you do get older, as a grown-up you'll probably be the sort of person who has better things to do with his time than go on a reality TV show. If that's the one thing you can take out of your few days in Bonanza City, it will be time well spent. That's more than can be said for those who choose this option on Wednesday nights for the rest of its run. Who knows, maybe the show's early notoriety will make it a hit. I'd like to think we're all too old and wise to be doing this, but who am I fooling?

What are we to make of a show that holds a 10-year-old "pageant queen" named Taylor up for ridicule for sounding like that hapless Miss Teen USA contestant as she states her desire to "make this a better world by bringing world peace to Africa with all the orphans" and declares Iraq "the No. 1 place that needs world peace." Later, she declares, "I'm a beauty queen. I don't do dishes." Is this meant to be kids-say-the-darndest-things cute? I don't think so. I think the producers figured we'd get a good laugh out of that. Maybe she'll get her own YouTube moment out of this. For shame.

Call me cynical, but I see something exploitive in a show that proposes to bring kids together for a greater good, then instructs four arbitrarily chosen leaders to divide them into groups and make them compete for economic and class status, and then inserts a $20,000 gold-star trophy into the mix each episode to ensure that greed will play its part, like on any other reality show, in building this so-called kiddie Utopia.

There are some charming, smart, funny, inspiring children trapped in this insipid show, along with a few apparent borderline bullies and vandals, and maybe as they learn to work and play together, we'll all learn that kids will be kids and they're the future and blah-blah-blah. But wait. We already know that. The signs of adults pulling the strings are all over Kid Nation, and that's something I'd think twice about subjecting actual children to.

Little Jimmy? He's the lucky one. I kid you not.

POLL: Is Kid Nation deserving of all the controversy that preceded its premiere? Vote here.