OMG! TMI! And can someone please tell me if there's an abbreviation for "Put a sock in it"?

Not that any amount of shushing would matter to the self-absorbed brats in Quarterlife as they blab and blog their way through a show that attempts to be a thirtysomething for Web-savvy twentysomethings. What it amounts to is an obsessively introspective scripted soap opera for an audience weaned on cheesy unscripted serials like The Real World and The Hills.

For this crowd, Quarterlife is bound to feel laughably phony in its phoned-in angst. For the rest of us, it's an endlessly tiresome pity party attended by horny pretty-young-things who quickly wear out their welcome.

An instant front-runner for most annoying TV character of 2008: Dylan Krieger (Bitsie Tulloch), a magazine gofer who whines into her webcam about life, work, love and her so-called friends, who seem alternately amused and annoyed at having their lives exposed in her online video diary. "We blog to exist," Dylan yammers, reminding us you can't spell "blog" without "bog." And what a soggy bog is Dylan's mind. "It's my curse that I can see what people are thinking," she muses. No, dear. That would be our curse.

This exercise in tedium is better suited for its original home on the Internet, where it should have stayed. On the Web, it airs in disposable bite-size chapters. In hour-long chunks in prime time, it's unbearable. A real disappointment,
given that the creators (Marshall Herskovitz and Edward Zwick) are responsible for some of TV's most moving and memorable dramas: Once and Again, My So-Called Life, thirtysomething.

By comparison, Quarterlife is a sorry little soapbox that can easily be silenced by a click of the remote — or the mouse, depending.

Quarterlife airs Sundays at 9 pm/ET on NBC.

New Amsterdam

Cult alert. For viewers who love a mystery with a brooding supernatural hero — and you know who you are, you Moonlight maniacs — I call to your attention New Amsterdam's John Amsterdam (Nikolaj Coster-Waldau), a handsome and haunted Manhattan detective who truly has seen it all. Tends to happen when you've been around 400 years.

Blessed or possibly cursed with eternal life, John is fascinated by death, which is why he currently works homicide. (Learning how he spent earlier decades, and centuries, promises to be the most entertaining part of the show.) The only way he can age or die is if he finds his soul mate, who might just be the doctor (Alexie Gilmore) who literally takes his breath away at their first meeting.

The procedural stuff is mostly drab, but John's institutional memories of the Big Apple (dating back to when it was still a big jungle) make New Amsterdam more intriguing than it initially appears.

New Amsterdam previews air Tuesday, March 4, and Thursday, March 6, at 9 pm/ET on Fox; as of March 10, its regular time period will be Mondays at 9 pm/ET.