[WARNING: The following story reveals The Killer's identity on Whodunnit? Read at your own risk.]
Whodunnit? wrapped up its first season Sunday night and we miss it already. Unfortunately, it hasn't received a Scared or Spared card yet from ABC. The silly murder mystery reality show — in which 13 contestants must find a killer among them while getting murdered (but not really!) one by one and being guided by Giles the butler (Gildart Jackson) — has averaged a mere 3.2 million viewers and a 1.0 in the adults 18-to-49 demographic. But if ABC knows whats good for them, we'd get invited back to Rue Manor every summer.
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Here are nine reasons why Whodunnit? needs to be renewed:
1. It knows what it is.
Creator Anthony Zuiker (CSI) has prided himself on the show being what he says is a new genre called "reality fiction" — which, let's face it, is what all reality series are anyway. Every reality show is contrived to some extent even if the interactions between contestants are unscripted: They're all acting and reacting to the situations their respective shows have put them in (or in The Hills' case, faking it altogether). Whodunnit? shamelessly and proudly embraces this with a nudge and a wink. It's completely outrageous, campy, absurd — and just downright fun. Because no matter how you slice it, there is something amusingly addictive and enjoyable about a reality show that's not real at all.
Whodunnit?'s Killer: I've only just begun
2. The people who do think it's real.
There are, however, a bunch of viewers who did not get the memo that the Rue Manor guests are merely playing a game. The over-the-top deaths have been so realistic (in some cases more than others) that people have been hilariously freaking out that a reality show would actually kill contestants. RIP, common sense.
Am I the only person wondering how there is a dead person on this reality show? #whodunnit
-- Amy Springer (@amyespringer) June 24, 2013
okay i was watching that whodunnit show and omg this guy was set on fire and died and it's a reality show is that even legal?
-- grayson (@graysondunst) June 24, 2013
Wtf do they really kill people on that show? I'd be scared for my life! #whodunnit
-- anhi. (@AnahiJulissa) July 1, 2013
WTF!!! #whodunnit IM LEGIT SCARED NOW!!! Is this real or not!?!? I never wanna play on a tv show now
-- obsessed_oncer (@debbie1479) July 1, 2013
3. The contestants take it very seriously.
Nothing is more entertaining than knowing that the show is fake and seeing the contestants yap about how they're "fighting for their lives," quiver as they learn their Spared or Scared fate and fear that they're "going to die tonight." Naturally, this is not Emmy-worthy stuff here (ahem, Melina). No, we take that back. Have you seen the death reenactments?
Whodunnit?'s Killer answers our burning questions
4. The puns.
The show has never met a pun that it didn't like. (Last week's episode, which had a liquid nitrogen-related death, was titled "Frost Nixin.") This excessive wordplay might be groan-worthy on any other show, but it's perfectly apt with Whodunnit?'s ridiculousness. Plus, when they're delivered with such pizzazz by Brit Giles — everything sounds better with an accent — they will, uh, kill you every time.
5. Giles is the best.
Speaking of Giles, he is the show. Jackson portrays him with such unabashed flair and cheekiness that you know he is having the time of his life with this part. Tranquilizing a mountain lion? Sunbathing in this get-up? Limbo-ing? The butler did it. And it was awesome.
6. Trained monkeys.
Well, technically, there haven't been any... yet. When Ronnie didn't have enough information for his case statement, he surmises that The Killer carried out the kill with trained monkeys since The Killer had already used a mountain lion in another murder. Ludicrous, right? Even The Killer thought so, but in Ronnie's defense, it's totally not out of the realm of possibility in the Whodunnit? world. So obviously Season 2 needs a monkey-aided kill.
7. Who doesn't love murder mysteries?
People have had a fascination with murders, crime thrillers, detective stories, et. al since the beginning of time. There's a reason procedurals are so popular — and not just because episodes are easily digestible. People are engrossed with mysteries because ultimately, people are inherently mysterious. Why did the killer kill? How did he pull it off? What was his motivation? The intrigue and curiosity inspire us to channel our inner Nancy Drew and Sherlock Holmes to put the puzzles together. Whodunnit? — the off-kilter child of The Mole and Clue — does the same in the wackiest way possible.
Whodunnit?'s Giles the Butler: "The Killer is someone I completely overlooked"
8. So Celebrity Whodunnit? can happen.
You know you want this. Don't fight it. Picture, say, Gary Busey poking and prodding at, say, Lindsay Lohan's "corpse" on a slab in the morgue and you'll never be the same.
9. We might be next.The Killer, who turned out to be Cris, threatened us. And then told us how she'd kill us. We still hope trained monkeys will be involved.
Do you want Whodunnit? to get a second season?