Doris Roberts and Patricia Heaton Doris Roberts and Patricia Heaton

Cripes, are you already behind?

It's OK, most of us are. Especially since every major network fed us new stuff again last night. All night. If it weren't so much fun to watch television and talk about it, this fall season would be exhausting!

ABC takes the prize for the most fresh material, with the returns of The Middle, Modern Family and Cougar Town—or as I like to call it, Wednesday's holy trinity—as well as the freshman sitcom Better With You (which really isn't better than anything) and new legal confection The Whole Truth. Yay for Maura Tierney's return to TV, but bigger yays to Doris Roberts reuniting with her Raymond costar Patricia Heaton on The Middle. And hello, how many of you want to play movie-mashup with Cougar's Grayson and Jules now?

Over on NBC, the evening was all about the launch of J.J. Abrams' Undercovers (awesome, sexy cast, fun premise), and a two-hour Law & Order: SVU. Fox spent the night firing up its latest season of Hell's Kitchen, while CBS provided another awesome Survivor, the sixth-season opener of creepy Criminal Minds (with Tim Curry being gross times 10 as that homicidal kidnapper), and the debut of the pretty indefensible The Defenders. Honestly, we object to Jerry O'Connell being stuck in this one.

Oh, and the CW finally gave us the makeover episode on America's Next Top Model (cry for beauty, you twigs!) and the introduction of Gale Harold on Hellcats. Got all that? Phew!

OK, so what were your TV picks for the night? Did you go all comedy? No reality whatever? Mix it up? Check out FX's Terriers, maybe? "Cause ya should. Come on, spill it...

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