Parks and Recreation

'Tis the season for holiday miracles, so why can't we hope the same for television? Santa, please give Cougar Town a premiere date. Hanukkah Harry, all we ask is that Steve Carell get awards recognition for his Office role. Harvest gods of Kwanzaa, let Castle and Beckett finally get together. And please, Winter Solstice Fairy, stop all the incest on TV!

We wish:

-For Jimmy Fallon and Justin Timberlake to reprise "The History of Rap" with "The History of Pop."

-For old Lily to come back on Modern Family. No one does a deadpan face better than the Hiller twins.

-For all but the the last 20 seconds of Dexter's sixth season to be erased from our memory.

-For Nicole Scherzinger to be removed as a judge on The X Factor and be replaced by Madonna (we can dream, right?)

-For The Office to end. It's time.

-For Ryan Murphy to take an interest in Glee again. We love American Horror Story too, but it's pretty obvious one of his TV babies is being neglected.

-For Sammi and Ronnie to have a shotgun wedding and quit Jersey Shore for good.

-For Parks and Recreation to continue to kill it week after week. Never change, Pawnee!

Check out the best TV shows of 2011

-For the cable networks to chill out with all the incest (except for Game of Thrones' twincest, of course) because we don't need that to become mainstream.

-For the ghost of Mags Bennett to haunt Justified for seasons to come. Ditto for Gus on Breaking Bad.

-For How I Met Your Mother's wardrobe and hair departments to dress and style Cobie Smulders better. Girlfriend is looking tragic.

-For everyone to realize that Happy Endings is, in fact, as good as a happy ending.

-For The Vampire Diaries' Damon and Elena to finally give in to each other.

-For Chris Noth to become a series regular on The Good Wife.

-For Boardwalk Empire not to have killed off the drama's most interesting character in the season finale. (Guess this wish can't come true though...)

-For Steve Carell to win the SAG for playing Michael Scott since that's his last chance to take home an award for that role.

What were the worst TV moments of 2011?

-For everyone to recognize — and bow down to — The Real Housewives of Atlanta's new star, and her formidable donkey booty, Phaedra Parks. (Nene, who?)

-For everyone to recognize — and bow down to — King Goffrey. Tyrion Shmyrion. It's high time we acknowledge Game of Thrones' real scene stealer... also, he'll behead you otherwise.

-For Cougar Town to finally get a premiere date and a full season.

-For Howard Stern to make America's Got Talent a watchable show.

-For NBC's Smash to be a hit.

-For Castle and Beckett to just sleep together already.

-For the presidential debates to get even wackier, keeping Real Time, The Colbert Report, The Daily Show and Saturday Night Live well-stocked with material.

-For the planned prime-time return of Person to Person to offer a worthy reprise of Edward R. Murrow's program.

-For people to watch the challenging and sober drama Awake when NBC finally schedules it so that it isn't insta-canceled.

-For Doctor Who's next season to arrive soon! At least set a return date for us Yanks!

Who were the breakout stars of 2011?

-For Bravo to renew the little-seen Work of Art for a third season, because it is unlike anything else on TV, the judges continue to dazzle, and it's the one reality show we don't feel gross watching.

-For Downton Abbey to go the American route when it comes to production and deliver us 22 weekly episodes a year. While we're at it: ditto Sherlock.

-For The Bachelor to cast someone new to star.

-For the Pretty Little Liars to actually catch A and get vindicated.

-For an angel to come forward to finance Ebert Presents: At the Movies, since Roger Ebert and his wife are running out of money.

-For 2 Broke Girls to keep its combination of edge and sweetness while showing how a member of the 1 percent and someone from the 99 percent can forge a rock-solid, loving and loyal friendship.

Those are our holiday wishes for TV. What are yours?