Triumph Bites Back
How do we explain Triumph the Insult Comic Dog? He's kind of like Don Rickles with a flea collar, or a verbally abusive sock puppet. Did we mention he's made a reputation out of eating up celebrities like kibble? The Late Night With Conan O'Brien regular serves up his greatest hits on two new DVDs, Conan O'Brien 10th Anniversary Special and The Best of Triumph the Insult Comic Dog, and proves his naughty late-night shtick has plenty of bite.
TV Guide Online: Have you always worked blue?
Triumph: In the early days of television, you couldn't say "poop." For years, I had to say "...for me to relieve myself on." Those were frustrating times for me and for Topo Gigio, who cussed like a sailor in his nightclub act.
TVGO: Did you settle your feud with Eminem?
Triumph: We've moved on. But I've renewed my old feud with Kermit. Do we really need new episodes of Sesame Street? By now you'd think even Keanu Reeves has learned to read.
TVGO: You and your owner, Robert Smigel, got tossed out of the Democratic convention.
Triumph: Yes, I was kicked out and had to miss all the policy insights of Ben Affleck and Alyssa Milano.
TVGO: Have you ever done anything you later regretted?
Triumph: I regret doing Hollywood Squares. That old ticktacktoe board used to mean something. Now it's just a giant kennel for has-beens.
TVGO: You've been brutal to Star Wars fans.
Triumph: I don't regret picking on the Star Wars nerds, but you have to feel a little sorry for them. I hope George Lucas CGIs them some girlfriends.
TVGO: What makes you laugh?
Triumph: The music of Bon Jovi never disappoints. And can you believe Jon Bon Jovi still wears those tight leather pants?
TVGO: How did you meet Conan O'Brien?
Triumph: Conan found me at the Westminster Dog Show. I wasn't competing, I just like to hang out, and then afterward I swoop in on all the hot females. I'm sort of like Lenny Kravitz at a fashion show.
TVGO: What's Conan like?
Triumph: He's very considerate, and I think that comes across on TV. He never interrupts guests by saying something even remotely funny. Making guests look good by being crappy comes naturally to him.
TVGO: What do you like to watch on TV?
Triumph: I like Animal Planet After Dark as much as the next guy. I pitched them a Dogs Gone Wild show, but they said it'd cost too much to blur out all the boobs.
TVGO: Do you like TV Guide?
Triumph: A most reputable and distinguished publication... for me to poop on! Seriously, an inbred setter could do your crossword puzzle.