I was getting a little worried when the beginning of tonight's episode rehashed, again, what we'd already seen for the last two weeks in the hatch. But it finally progressed beyond what happened after Jack recognized Desmond. And we got to see a creepy little film that is clearly jumpy and missing some key parts. But who the heck is this Hanso guy who is funding this whole Swan-Dharma plan? Why'd they have to go and give me nightmares by showing that blurry, far-off picture of him? What is the significance of having each pair committed to service for 540 days? And if the Dharma Initiative was created in 1970, why was the copyright on the film 1980? Did it take 10 years to implement, or was it up and running for that long before things went really bad? And why was the orientation film hidden behind a copy of The Turn of the Screw? What exactly does a spooky ghost story about a governess have to do with this island? Is Desmond not real? And I've got to know, what exactly did Locke think it was going to be like when he got into the hatch? Does he know something about this whole electromagnetic field that we don't? He gets odder and odder each week, and the whole backstory with Katey Sagal didn't really help matters. I get that he'd be ticked off at the fake dad who stole his kidney, but sitting outside of his house every night is not going to do any good. He's a clever guy; I'm sure he could have figured out a nice plan for payback if he put his mind to it. Hmm maybe he did, and that's how he ended up in the wheelchair.
On the other side of the island, Ana-Lucia totally scammed our boys and looked like Angelina Jolie in Tomb Raider coming out of the pit holding on to a rope and carrying Sawyer's gun. I don't know if these people are crazy or just power hungry, or even if they are all from the plane, but those are all things I can't wait to find out. Angel Cohn
I was just getting ready to write about how wonderful it was that this episode didn't end on a big cliff-hanger and instead resolved with Keith agreeing to run for sheriff... and then they had to go and hit me with that last scene. Why does the dead guy who washed ashore have Veronica's name written on his hand? Every time I think I'm actually getting somewhere in figuring out any part of this mystery, the sneaky writers throw me for a huge loop. They still remember to insert brilliantly witty dialogue and to use of guest stars cleverly. It was so smart to have Clerks creator Kevin Smith working as a clerk at a convenience store. If only Veronica could have been the 37th person to ask about the dead guy's last meal instead of the 97th... now that would have been a perfect in-joke.
On the love-life front, Wallace has a girlfriend. Or at least he's got the interest of the prissy Jackie, who should keep hanging around him as long as he remains useful. Logan and Mrs. Casablancas are having a torrid, wall-banging, "Live Large" condom kind of affair, and the Beav and Veronica are both onto it.
The Apprentice: Martha Stewart
I can't help but root for the underdog, and so far on this show that dog has been Dawn. I'm not saying that she's the best candidate, or even the nicest person, but I do think that she's been treated unfairly by everyone on Team Matchstick, even the heretofore silent David. Dawn needs a friend. Let me be that for now. Odds are there's a reason that her whole team dislikes her, but no matter what she does, she can't win. This week she made every effort not to get on anyone's nerves or in their way, and what does project-manager David do? He drags her into the conference room because he doesn't think she'll ever be able to lead the team. That's just wrong. Well, David, ineffectual is as ineffectual does. You were a bad PM, delegating all decisions to anybody but yourself on the wedding-cake task, and you lost big time. Bringing Marcela, who pulled an all-nighter baking the cake, and Dawn, who did nothing to impede this task, into the conference room made David look like a jerk. I'm glad Martha overruled his choices and pulled everyone back in, because you just can't blame Dawn for everything.
But you can blame Shawn (of the pink-and-green outfits and Suze Orman hairdo) for her colossal failure in this task. She herself would say, "It is what it is." And it was a complete mess. We all knew as soon as she'd offered herself up to the elimination gods that she was going to be a goner. Has no one learned from Brad's experience with Trump? Don't get cocky on these shows; you will be gone. It's that simple. Dear Shawn, Buh-bye. And Charles, how about a cigar for new dad Jim? Rhoda Charles