Trading Spouses: Meet Your New Mommy
Yeah, I admit it: I'd never before even thought about watching those video clips of the 3-ton harpy screeching about how "God drew me into this show." So it was a little disappointing to realize that said breakdown wouldn't occur until next week. But I kept an open mind; this is like a lowbrow version of Morgan Spurlock's

30 Days, right? Except that placing an admittedly closed-minded religious fanatic from small-town Louisiana in the home of a New Agey astrology-following hypnotherapist in Massachusetts doesn't exactly sound like an experiment. We pretty much know what's going to happen. That doesn't mean it is any less fun to watch Marguerite Perrin (none of her new family seems to notice that she calls herself "Margaret") squirm and literally vomit from the un-Christianness of it all. I don't get how celebrating the solstice is ungodly if you're supposed to believe that God created the sun, but whatever. Meanwhile, the Perrin family is the very picture of hospitality toward Jeannie Flisher at first until they bring in Marguerite's Christian attack dogs, er, friends. Jeannie's attempt at hypnotizing Ashley was cheesy goodness, but I hope she manages to give poor younger daughter Brooke a boost of self-esteem before the gap-toothed Mac truck returns home. From the look of the promos, even the Perrins are frightened of Marguerite's possessed rage. Frankly, I'd find this all more entertaining if I didn't know there are many, many others of her ilk out there. The thought makes the spirit rise up in me.   SRW

The Apprentice: Martha Stewart
With all these multiple firings going on at the Apprentice franchise four last week by Trump and two this week by Martha you have to wonder who chose these people as the top contenders in the first place? But I'll leave that alone. This week teams were to design a live-action mobile billboard for Tide to Go, a pen that instantly removes stains. Dawna, PM of Matchstick, pulled out a win with a cohesive promotion, while Primarius, under Sarah's leadership (if that's what you want to call it), created a colossal failure. They had no concept, relying instead on an odd performance-art-like, chaotic, loud mish-mash-of-a-mess promotion that won no love from Martha or her henchmen. Watching Jim "dance" and chant along with the team that "It's time for Tide to Go, it's time for Tide to Go!" was like watching them boycott the product rather than sell it. This is probably the reason why "silent brainstorming" didn't catch on. Who brainstorms silently? Seems to be, oh, I don't know, counterproductive. Strangely enough, Sarah was convinced that anyone but herself was to blame for the loss and tried to place the blame on Howie and Bethenny, the two team members who at least tried to salvage this task. That deflection clearly backfired. Martha has keen vision and can spot an ineffectual leader and her second-in-command a mile away. So it's happy trails to you, Sarah and Carrie. It's time for you to go, it's time for you to go!  Rhoda Charles