We've all heard of the creepy, folkloric figure called the Candyman, the guy with a hook for a hand and a colony of angry bees living inside his body. But last night on Jimmy Kimmel Live, guest host Tracee Ellis Ross introduced us to a real-life monster, ripped from the headlines of the countless sexual harassment scandals finally coming to light in Hollywood: the horrifying Handsy Man.

Instead of a hook-hand and a body full of bees, the Handsy Man has ten long fingers and an uncontrollable urge to show you his wiener, whether you want to see it or not!

Ross, one of several hosts who will be filling in for Kimmel while his infant son recuperates from surgery, treated the audience to an energetic read-aloud of the Dr. Seuss-inspired story of The Handsy Man as part of her opening monologue — with the caveat that a single nursery rhyme hardly encapsulates the scope of the handsy problem in Hollywood and elsewhere.

Said Ross, "Just so you know, that's part one of a sixty-seven part series."