Here are our Top Moments of the TV week:
12. Best Use of Chardonnay: To promote her new craft book on the Today show, Amy Sedaris knows just how to get Hoda Kotb and Kathie Lee Gifford's attention: wine! Sedaris teaches the two hosts the importance of stretching before and after crafts. First, reach toward your glass and then make sure to swirl the wine using all your arm muscles. Bonus points to whichever producer got Kathie Lee and Hoda to wear those awesome bonnets.
11. Best Reunion, Part I: Once again making people's dreams come true, Oprah Winfrey reunites all five Backstreet Boys (Kevin Richardson, sadly, left the band four years ago, remember?) on her teen heartthrob episode. The guys croon their signature tune, "I Want It That Way," as grown women — including Winfrey — sing, sway and swoon along, proving one thing: Girls never get over their girlhood crushes. Let's shoot for 'N Sync next time, OK, Auntie Oprah?
10. Best Use of Vlasic: Nothing says pregnancy like a jar of pickles, right? And what better way to document the life-altering experience of growing another being in your belly than posing with Renaissance Faire-sized pickles shoved in your mouth? OK, sharing one with your man, Lady and The Tramp-style, comes close. Oh, Phaedra, please show us more of your sophisticated Southern Belle tastes on Real Housewives of Atlanta. Please.
9. Worst Complaining: After nabbing her personal best score on Dancing with the Stars, Bristol Palin cries in her confessional, complaining about her long, hard week. "I'm tired; I want to go home and want to see my son," she weeps. So, um, withdraw? Alas, there was no mercy elimination as Sarah Palin's eldest daughter is voted to stay in on Election Day — the same day Republicans took over the House of Representatives. Coincidence?
8. One-Two Punch Award: When an inebriated Kevin learns that Scotty's "other man" is a waiter at their charity dinner on Brothers & Sisters, he decides it's time to confront "Rob Roy" — with his right hook. Except "Rob Roy" isn't the guy. Justin's got his big bro's back, though, and clocks Marcus right in the face.
7. Biggest Head-Scratcher: Days before the launch of his new TBS show, Conan O'Brien spends a little quality time with his soon-to-be late-night partner on Lopez Tonight. In his brief appearance, O'Brien (attempts to) show off his Spanish-language skills, but instead tells Lopez "my wrist has sex" and "we hope that the boat has more dog eyes in the future." How do you say "epic fail" en español?
6. Quickest Thinker: On Dexter, our vigilante killer is forced to think fast with two dead bodies when he's inches away from being exposed. Deb and the team arrive to find a baffling crime scene — orchestrated by Dex at the last second — with one man shot and wrapped in plastic wrap, and the other tied up. Masuka comes to the conclusion that the men were partaking in "autoerotic mummification." And Dexter is off the hook.
5. Best Advice: During Robert Downey Jr.'s appearance on The Late Show with David Letterman, the host abruptly asks the reformed bad boy if he knows Charlie Sheen and if has any advice for the troubled Two and a Half Men star. Downey — who reveals the two went to high school together ("We didn't really hang out. I mean, it sounds like we could have really partied.") — offers "don't get arrested" and then gets serious. "I think the best thing I can do is just keep the plug in the jug myself and stay out of trouble," he says, before quipping: "I mean, it would have been fun to be partying with him in the Plaza, probably ... but not fun — not fun."
4. Best Picnic Analogy: Tina Fey may say she doesn't remember how to do her Emmy-winning impersonation of Sarah Palin, but she's not fooling anybody. When chatting up the midterm election with David Letterman on The Late Show, Fey swiftly launches into Palin speak: "The mama grizzlies are goin' to Washington and they are gonna flip your picnic table, Dave."
3. Best Reunion, Part II: Who better to mock the first housewives of Bravo than the first ladies of Saturday Night Live? The Women of SNL special pays special tribute to the reunions fans love to hate. Caroline Manzo and Bethenny Frankel are all mercifully ridiculed. However, the best impersonation is Tina Fey's take on Danielle Staub, Kim Zolciak and LuAnn de Lesseps' dubious musical careers with her lip-synched performance of her (fictional) new single, "I Wanna Get Witcha."
2. Most Surprising Compassion: Though the zombies of The Walking Dead are hella scary, Deputy Sheriff Rick Grimes isn't just out for undead blood. In fact, before leaving his hometown to search for his wife and son in Atlanta, Rick seeks out a legless zombie to put her out of her misery. Even as she snarls at him, hungry for his flesh, Rick frees her from her immobile doom. "I'm sorry this happened to you," he says before pulling the trigger.
1. Best Musical Triumvirate: At Saturday's Rally to Restore Sanity in Washington, D.C., host Jon Stewart introduced a rare performance by Yusuf (fka Cat Stevens), who got the crowd a-swayin' when he sang "Peace Train." Stewart's fake nemesis, Stephen Colbert, the organizer of a concurrent event called the March to Keep Fear Alive, interrupted Yusuf's mellow jam to introduce his idea of a musical guest: Ozzy Osbourne, who crashed the stage to warble his nihilist anthem "Crazy Train." Yusuf and Osbourne traded verses until the O'Jays effectively settled the argument when they took to stage for a crowd-pleasing rendition of their saucy single "Love Train." Which train are you on?
What were your favorite TV moments of the week?