Dexter Dexter

Dexter
9/8c Showtime
No sooner was Dexter a newlywed than he became a widower. Season 5 kicks off with an emotionally charged entry that picks up with the aftermath of Rita's murder. There are funeral arrangements to make, her kids are on an outing to Disney World with their grandparents and they need to be told, and to top it all off, Rita's homicide has fallen under the jurisdiction of the FBI, whose agents are eager to interview the victim's husband. And, according to a cop in tonight's episode, 90 percent of wife-killings are committed by the hubby. — Ray Stackhouse

Amazing Race 17

8:30/7:30c CBS
The 17th edition of the reality series kicks off with a 90-minute premiere that begins with 11 teams in Gloucester, Mass. The race teams include a pair of Ivy League a cappella singers, a birth mother and her daughter who recently met for the first time, and home shopping hosts Brook Roberts and Claire Champlin. Tonight, after the duos fly from Boston to London, the teams use giant slingshots to shoot watermelons at a knight. Unfortunately for Claire, one melon fires back into her face and threatens to end her race early. — Tim Holland

Desperate Housewives

9/8c ABC
It's a new season (No. 7): The Bolens have moved on, Orson's moving out, and Susan and Mike have already moved, although not far, because they can't afford Wisteria Lane. Susan gets a job offer tonight from their landlady (Lainie Kazan) that she really wants to refuse. Meanwhile, Paul Young (Mark Moses) is moving back in, and no one's happy about it. And Lynette's barb-tossing college friend Renee (Vanessa Williams) shows up. She's just visiting, she says, but Williams has joined the regular cast. Where does that leave Gaby and (the clean-shaven) Carlos? Keeping secrets from each other. — Paul Droesch

The Simpsons
8/7c Fox
Lisa has a gleeful time attending a performing-arts camp, where Glee cast members Lea Michele, Cory Monteith and Amber Riley lend their voices to her fellow campers, and Flight of the Conchords Jemaine Clement and Bret McKenzie soar as her counselors. Unfortunately, she's bored with her suburban lifestyle when she returns to Springfield, and sneaks off to Sprooklyn to nourish her inner artist as Season 22 begins. — Fred Mitchell

Sunday Night Football
8:15/7:15c NBC
The New York Jets — who visit the Dolphins for their home opener — made it to the AFC Championship game last season, but Miami didn't contribute to their success, winning at home (thanks to a some strong plays from the wildcat formation) and East Rutherford (due to 100 and 101-yard kick returns for touchdowns in the third quarter by Ted Ginn). The Dolphins come in 2-0 after a big win over the Vikings last week, while the Jets, having lost their opener, scored a much-needed victory over the Patriots. — Dave Roeder

Cleveland Show
8:30/7:30c Fox
Rapper Kenny West (voice of Kanye West) might be "locally famous" in Stoolbend, but he lives in his car until Cleveland takes West and his daughter in on tonight's second-season opener. And as it happens, Cleveland's in crisis himself — the midlife variety after it dawns on him who the "Barry" Obama he knew in high school is. Cleveland and Kenny will help each other out...up to a point. Meanwhile, Rallo falls for Kenny's daughter and decides that it's time to settle down. "I'm not 5 anymore," he says. "I'm 5-and-a-half." — Paul Droesch

Bored to Death
10/9c HBO
Jonathan Ames (Jason Schwartzman) may have finally finished his second novel, but that doesn't mean he can quit moonlighting as a private detective. In fact, Jonathan even has a third job teaching a night-school writing class. But it's his infiltration of an S&M dungeon, on behalf of a mounted police officer (Lenny Venito) that gets tonight's second-season premiere going, especially after he meets a no-nonsense dominatrix (Kristen Johnston) who wants to be an author. — Joe Friedrich