Freeform's seasoned family drama The Fosters is an emotional roller coaster ride, and throughout the emotional highs and miserable lows there is one constant, one thing that fans can always count on.
No, it's not the love and support of family matriarchs Stef (Teri Polo) and Lena (Sherri Saum). It's not even Jesus (Noah Centineo) acting like a self-centered, horny teenager (though he most certainly is). No, it's Brandon's (David Lambert) inability to stop making terrible, awful, no-good life decisions.
Below we've ranked his poor decision-making skills over the series' run from worst to downright appalling. Check 'em out and see if you agree!
5. Slept with Dani, his dad's girlfriend
OK so here's the thing with this one: Brandon was a teenager under the age of consent at the time, and he had consumed alcohol. Dani should have known better — she was the adult in the situation and had the most to lose — and her arrest for statutory rape is a clear testament to how dead wrong she was here. But the writers put us in a difficult situation here, because while we don't blame victims, Brandon had been on a downward spiral in general and knowing it culminated in this awful situation made us bang our heads against the wall in frustration.
4. Started a fake ID operation with Vico, a garbage person
In need of a way to pay his father (Danny Nucci) back for the money he gave to Anna (see No. 4), Brandon decided the right course of action was to go into the fake ID business with Vico, something that apparently required Brandon to steal his mother's keys to the school. Long story short, the entire ordeal led to Vico stealing some e-readers, Brandon backing out, and Brandon eventually having his hand crushed in a car door. In fact, the only good thing to come out of this situation was Brandon's reaction to a $12 cosmo. Never move to Los Angeles, Brandon.
3. Had sex with Callie, his foster sister
From Day 1, The Fosters has been trying to sell viewers on Brandon and Callie (Maia Mitchell) as star-crossed lovers torn apart by fate and the very inconvenient fact that she was his foster sister. For several seasons, Brandon ignored repeated warnings from his moms — and even a restraining order — until the two teens eventually gave in and slept together when they thought Callie would never be adopted. That's right, the only thing keeping it in Brandon's pants all those years was the possibility that a judge would grant Callie's adoption. Of course, as soon as they did the deed, she was officially adopted into the family because it's common knowledge when you have sex on TV "bad" things happen.
2.Used the cash he was supposed to use for piano lessons to pay off Anna
Early on in The Fosters' run, Brandon paid off a witness in a murder case because sure, that seems like something a reasonably sane human being would do, right? Wait, it gets better. The witness? The drug-addicted birth mother of Brandon's adopted siblings Jesus and Mariana (Cierra Ramirez). The money? The cash his father gave him for fancy schmancy piano lessons. The case? One that involved both his parents and resulted in his mother getting shot. Somehow this is one of the least awful things Brandon has done?
1.Used his Juilliard money on an apartment for new girlfriend Cortney
Once Callie was adopted, Brandon decided there was no point in trying to make rational decisions any longer, so when his new, older girlfriend Cortney (Denyse Tontz) and her young child needed a place to live because her baby daddy had kicked her out (so many red flags here, Brandon), he decided the answer was to blow his money for Juilliard on an apartment for her. What we've learned from this list is that Brandon should never be in charge of large sums of money, can't be trusted to make good decisions when it comes to women and should possibly be on a leash at all times.
Dude, please take a look at your life choices and sort out your priorities before you end up in prison or playing keyboard on a street corner in exchange for food. Oh wait, you already used that damn thing to barter for your freedom in Mexico. Never mind.
(Note: This post was updated from its original version.)
The Fosters airs Mondays at 8/7c on Freeform.